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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330341">His Orbit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebigqueer/pseuds/thebigqueer'>thebigqueer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HoO - Fandom, PJO - Fandom, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan, toa - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Death, Heroes of Olympus, HoO - Freeform, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nico x Will, PJO, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Freeform, ToA - Freeform, Will Solace x Nico di Angelo, nico di angelo x will solace - Freeform, solangelo, trials of apollo, will x nico - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:09:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>49,214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebigqueer/pseuds/thebigqueer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a solangelo origin story except it’s just Nico and Will simping for each other because yuh ❤️</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nico di Angelo &amp; Will Solace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fanfic on AO3! I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Will wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting when he knocked on the Hermes cabin door that morning.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He certainly wasn’t expecting to feel like he’d been punched in the gut. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The morning was slow and warm, totally not something he’d get from a day in December. On the other hand, he was also in a camp full of demigods like himself, which meant basic laws of nature didn’t apply here.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> To try to get his mind off what had happened the past two days, he’d left the cabin in hopes of finding Nico di Angelo. The boy had come to the Apollo residence a few days ago, and the two had spent some time playing Mythomagic.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nico had promised he’d come back later, but he never did. Which was why Will stood in front of the Hermes cabin at this very moment. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Will rapped his knuckles tentatively on the wooden door. The sounds of voices from the inside drifted through the cracks, but none of them sounded familiar to Will. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> None of them sounded like Nico. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Will looked over the grounds while he waited for the door to open. Demigods were just starting to pop out of their cabins, some looking ready to take on the world while others looked like they just wanted to go back inside and sleep.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The creaking of a door snapped Will’s attention back to the front. A boy about his age with brown curls stood with his head tilted. “Hi,” he said, “can I help you?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah,” Will replied, surprised by the meekness of his voice. “Um… is Nico di Angelo here?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The boy frowned in thought, as if he was having a hard time remembering who that was. Then his lips formed into the shape of an O as realization dawned on him. “Oh, di Angelo. Yeah, um… he’s not here anymore.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Will blinked. “What? What do you mean?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The boy shrugged, pulling on the door. “Sorry, dude,” he said, his face being quickly shut away by the door. “Nico di Angelo’s gone.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Nico will admit, being back at camp… it’s been weird.</p><p>It started off with taking care of the camp, helping out in the reconstruction after all the damage that had been done from the battle. That took some time over the summer, but Nico was happy to have the chance to do something to help while he got accustomed to the schedules of camp. </p><p>Speaking of camp, that’s weird too. Nico has been so used to being a rogue demigod, away from the grasp of formality and authority for such a long time, that he has almost completely forgotten what it’s like. </p><p>It’s strange being back in a place that he’d never felt welcomed, a place he never considered home. And yet, about two months into Nico’s longer stay at camp, he suddenly can’t imagine <em> not </em> being here. Sure, he has some bad memories here. He’d been shunned by people, looked down upon, left to lay there like a rug for others to step on without caring. </p><p>But things have changed, too. It’s most likely because of the battle, but now the atmosphere of the place seems kinder and stronger, despite losing so many people. Demigods are unified. </p><p>Not only that, but people are nicer to Nico, too. He suspects it has something to do with bringing the Athena Parthenos back to camp, and also being publicly endorsed by a Roman praetor, but he doesn’t mind. At the beginning of his stay, Nico was nervous about how they’d treat him after a few weeks when the excitement passed. Maybe it would be like post-Battle of Manhattan, when he’d be adored for a hot minute and left to rot again.</p><p>But turns out, it hasn’t come to that. Or maybe he’s just feeling better, more useful, more important around the place.</p><p>And Nico suspects it had something to do with a certain Will Solace.</p><p>Nico was surprised when Will was so adamant about spending three days in the infirmary with him. He genuinely didn’t understand why Will, the son of Apollo, a well-known healer, would want <em> him </em> , a son of Hades, resident goth and the teenage lord of death, in the same place as people whose worst fears were of <em> dying </em>.</p><p>Nico was weary, of course. First off, he didn’t think it was fair that Will full-on told him that he was being dramatic about not being wanted here, back when they were battling Gaea and Octavian’s forces at the end of the summer. <em> Why would Will know </em> ? He wasn’t Nico. He was so sunshiny and bright and happy; people <em> liked </em> him. Nico? Not so much.</p><p>Will didn’t know what Nico had been through. He didn’t know what it was like to be scorned and be ridiculed by people he thought he could call friends. But Nico figured he’d lay off Will. After all, he <em> didn’t </em> know what Nico had been through. If he had known, Nico assumed Will wouldn’t have said that stuff.</p><p>And besides, it’s not like Will doesn’t face his own issues. Nico knows he isn’t always happy; maybe that’s why he was so stubborn when he asked Nico to come around. Besides, Nico knows what happened to his two older brothers. That couldn’t have been easy to deal with. He would get lonely as a cabin leader, and Nico knows better than anyone that being lonely isn’t fun.</p><p>But it wasn’t just Will’s stubbornness with being Nico’s friend. A part of him, Nico supposes, believes he owes it to Will to be his friend. </p><p>It hasn’t slipped Nico’s mind that the two boys had a past together, no matter how brief. It started when Nico had first arrived at camp with his sister. He’d been so excited, so nervous, so in awe of everything around him. He’d just found out he was the son of a legitimate <em> deity </em>, just like the ones from his Mythomagic game. What could be cooler than that?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Despite being angry at Bianca for joining some huntresses she barely knew about, he was excited to experience this with his sister. He didn’t have a mother anymore, and he didn’t really know who his father was. Now he’d been given a chance to find out about his heritage, and he would hopefully get to do it with Bianca, his last living relative - or so presumed last relative, since eventually Nico found Hazel. So many unanswered questions would be answered, opening up his world into full color.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He’d get a chance to understand himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>While the details are a bit hazy to him, Nico vaguely remembers the day he met Will Solace. The Hermes cabin had taken him on a tour around the camp, and one of the stops happened to be the arena. Nico asked to look around, maybe even play a little with the weaponry, and of course an eleven-year-old Hermes kid would see absolutely nothing wrong with letting another eleven-year-old demigod play around with a deadly sword.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, naturally, Nico ended up hurting himself. It wasn’t anything too serious, but he was still taken to the infirmary.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico soon learned that the infirmary was filled to the brim with children of Apollo. That was how he met Will Solace, medic extraordinaire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will looked upset when the two first met, as if something were bothering him. When Nico first saw him, he was slumped in a chair, staring dejectedly and numbly at the floor while his older brother - Lee, Nico soon found out - was trying to pep talk him into helping Nico out. The only thought that went through Nico’s mind at that moment was that Will, in his golden curls and his blue eyes and that sweet, innocent, and defeaten expression on his face, reminded him of a depressed angel. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Eventually Lee convinced Will to sit up and help Nico out, vowing that it might make him feel better. Little did the two know that was the beginning of their short-lived friendship. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>While the memories barely reach the surface of Nico’s memory, he remembers how much Will had helped him when Bianca was gone on her quest. To get his mind off of his worries, Will convinced Nico to teach him to play Mythomagic. It didn’t completely make him feel good, but he appreciated the son of Apollo’s attempts at making him feel better. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>On the last day of Nico’s short stay at Camp Half-Blood, he’d gone to Will’s cabin in the morning. Apparently Will was sick, and he wanted to make sure his new friend was alright. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will told him he was fine, that it was just a fever, but something in his weathered expression and sunken eyes told Nico it was much more than that. Something else was eating at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Will refused to share. So instead the two boys opted to play Mythomagic.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>All in all, Nico believed that it was a pretty good way to end his first time around camp. Then disaster struck, of course, and for a time Nico forgot about Will. Knowing this, Nico feels guilty - Will was one of his first friends at camp. Not necessarily <em> the </em>first one, but definitely one of them. And he forgot about their relationship for a long time. </p><p>Sure, he went through a lot. That was a valid excuse. But some part of him still felt guilty.</p><p>Now, though, Nico is glad to say that they’re making up for years of friendship that were lost. After being forced to stick around Will in the infirmary for three days, the two boys grew accustomed to each other. Maybe it was the fact that they’d had a friendship a while ago, but something about his relationship with Will makes Nico feel comfortable to be around him. </p><p>This is new. Usually Nico doesn’t like to trust people easily. He proved that to Jason. But Nico knows that while he doesn’t trust people easily, he grows attached to people as soon as he <em> does </em>trust someone. He learned to trust Reyna, and now she’s like a sister to him, despite the fact that they barely knew anything about each other beforehand. </p><p>Oftentimes, he and Will pair up for the day, do chores around camp or activities. Sometimes Will leaves Nico to do something on his own, and while Nico doesn’t mind that - he knows Will has other friends to hang around, and besides, Nico prefers to be on his own some days - he still misses Will’s presence around him. </p><p>Will also introduced him to Lou Ellen and Cecil during the war, so sometimes the four of them hang around. At first, Nico didn’t recognize Cecil during the war, but then he realized it was only because Cecil completely changed his entire look. Puberty definitely did him good, with some lasting acne but a whole new aura of maturity.</p><p>But in no way does Cecil compare to Will. Maybe Nico’s a little biased, being closer to him, but he truly believes Will’s glown up in such dramatically beautiful ways. It starts off with the way the son of Apollo carries himself now. Nico remembers the way Will had hidden from people when he first came to camp, antsy and shaky and ready to jump away whenever he could. While he was never as pale as Nico, Will had seemed almost like a washed-out version of himself then.</p><p>When Nico came back to camp a year or two later, right after the Battle of Manhattan during that gap between the summer and winter, before Percy Jackson had gone missing, Will had seemed a little more sure of himself, carrying around a comforting smile of his own and no longer hiding his feelings behind. Though Nico believed it was just a trick of his mind, he swore Will’s skin and hair had just gotten a new coat of paint, because he seemed to be full of color. He was skinny then, as if he didn’t eat as much as a thirteen-year-old boy should be eating, but he seemed happier than that first time Nico met him. </p><p>Coming back to camp now, though, Nico’s had to take a double take many times to convince himself that the Will he sees is the same Will from back then. He stands straighter now, with a little more confidence, and he's definitely looking a lot healthier. Compared to back then, Will’s been completely saturated in color - everything about him is just radiant, standing out against even the brightest of things. The camp is a dark auditorium, and Will is the spotlight. He shines an important light on the place, emphasizing all the things that Nico <em> does </em>love about camp.</p><p>Not only that, but Will’s hair has grown into beautiful, long, golden curls. His freckles stand out against the tan of his skin, and Nico swears a bit of the sky was used to paint Will’s eyes as blue as they are now. His smile pops out of his face, gleaming at any time of the day.</p><p>Long story short, Will has really started to live up to his child-of-Apollo expectations. There’s no mistaking Will as anything but, with his sunny exterior and warm heart. </p><p>Speaking of sunny and warm, Nico’s really feeling the heat in the Strawberry Fields, where he’s waiting for Will. Chiron asked them to clean out the Apollo chariot - “It’s a mess,” he explained - and Nico is most definitely not excited. He just does not feel like doing anything. It’s hot for a day in October, and he’d much rather be spending his time doing something useful than cleaning some stupid chariot.</p><p>Although, he will admit that doing them with Will would probably make his experience much more exciting. </p><p>But he’s certainly not having an exciting time waiting for that terribly selfish and annoying son of Apollo in this burning sun on a horrendously warm October day in the Strawberry Fields. Nico knows he should cut Will some slack, but it’s been ten minutes. He doesn’t take Will to be someone who flakes out on anyone, so of course Nico’s pretty irked.</p><p>Genuine concern starts to creep over him about ten minutes later and he thinks of trying to find Will when he hears a familiar voice call, “Sorry I’m late!” </p><p>Nico turns his head in the direction of the voice and, surprisingly, feels a rush of relief wash over him. Even though it was only ten minutes, Nico still felt a little nervous. What if something was wrong with Will? What if he needed help?</p><p>Nico waits for the blond to catch up, but he keeps up his look of disdain, just for the drama. He watches Will’s golden figure rush up to catch him, in his whole sunshine-y glory. Today he wears a orange Camp Half-Blood T-shirt with khakis, and while there’s nothing remarkable about that, Nico can’t help but to notice he somehow makes everything he wears seem like they’re with a purpose. Will raises a hand in greeting, and Nico catches sight of his light blue nailpolish. A bright smile laces his mouth, as always, and for about the millionth time Nico wonders how someone can always  manage to look so calm and collected about life. </p><p>Of course, Nico knows there’s always more than just the exterior. Obviously Will’s got his own issues, just like everyone else, but how does he manage to always <em> appear </em>so positive?</p><p>“Sorry I’m late,” Will says again, panting a little, and Nico raises an eyebrow in response, urging an explanation from the son of Apollo. “Cecil and Lou Ellen needed me, quote unquote, ‘desperately’ for something.” </p><p>“And was it desperate?” asks Nico. </p><p>Will grins brighter, his eyes lighting up with mischief. “Not at all. Lou Ellen just wanted to try her powers out on me, try and control the Mist.” </p><p>The boys start walking in the direction of the stables, the sun beating down on them like a laser beam.</p><p>“Holy Hephaestus,” Nico mutters, shielding his face from the unwanted light, “I think Apollo’s got some serious issues today. Maybe he’s angry.” </p><p>Will snorts. “Maybe,” he replies, but Nico doesn’t miss that uncertainty in his voice, like they’ve just touched on a shaky topic.</p><p>“Still haven’t heard from him?” Nico inquires, guilt sweeping over him. He knows that the Apollo kids haven’t heard from their father in a while, and while that’s not necessarily surprising, this time there’s some serious concern over the matter. Communications have been down, for one, and Rachel’s complained that her prophetic powers haven’t been working.</p><p>“What?” Connor Stoll asked her when he found out. “Are we supposed to, like, insert twenty-five cents to get a prophecy?” </p><p>Rachel smacked him. </p><p>Will shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing in concern and confusion. “Not yet. I mean, it’s only been a month, but… this is weird.” He lifts his head and offers Nico a wavering smile. “But I don’t want to bring you down with my issues. We have other things to do.” </p><p>Nico frowns. “Yeah, but this seems like it’s bothering you. We can talk about it if you want.” </p><p>Will shakes his head and peers at Nico through his lashes, the smile on his face washing away for a moment. “I’d rather not.” He turns his head ahead of them, and Nico follows his gaze, only to find that they’ve made it to the chariots, gleaming with glory under the abusive sun. They stand with an important purpose to the right of the stables. </p><p>“Besides,” Will says with enthusiasm, “we’re already here.” </p><p>There aren’t many chariots outside, considering sometimes they end up crashing and breaking, but the boys only have their sights on the Apollo chariot. (It was fixed by the Apollo campers, with some help from the Hephaestus kids. Will told Nico that Annabeth was partly to blame for it being broken, which Nico had to laugh at.)</p><p>“And anyway,” Will said to Nico when Chiron told them to clean it out, “our chariot is kind of a mess right now.”</p><p>Even though they’re not supposed to clean all the chariots, Nico’s shoulders and back already hurt from all the effort it will take to do just the one. Not to mention the sunburn he might have by the end of it. </p><p>He sighs. “Let’s get this over with, Sunny Boy.” </p><p>Will rolls his eyes as he steps towards the chariot. “How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?” </p><p>An unfamiliar grin pulls at Nico’s mouth. “Just as many times as I’ve told you to stop calling me Lord Darkness.”</p><p>Will shrugs and offers Nico a bright, sarcastic smile. “Okay, fine, we’re even. Now let’s just get started on this chariot before the sun burns us to ashes.”</p><p> </p><p>It takes a while, but eventually the boys get the hang of it. Nico realizes that Will was right - the chariot really <em> is </em>a mess. He’s not sure where all the trash came from, but he and Will should probably go look for the suspect because they did a terrible job of sneaking into the chariot to eat food and throw wrappers all over it. </p><p>Not to mention, the poor chariot has been through quite a lot. Dirt, scum, and mud clung to the bottom half of it before the cleaning, especially in the hard-to-reach places, and Will and Nico had to really dig in deep. Eventually, though, they got the hang of it after discovering Nico had longer, nimble fingers that could get into some of the smaller crevices. </p><p>After about half an hour of non-stop work, the boys decided to take a break, and Will ran off to get snacks from the Hermes cabin. </p><p>“I have secret connections,” he whispered menacingly before he ran off. </p><p>Now Nico slouches in the seat, which is still covered in dried muck (he and Will plan on hosing it down after their break), waiting for a certain blond to come by again. The sun hasn’t relented, but Will also promised to bring back sunscreen, so Nico doesn’t worry about it. </p><p>He watches campers do their daily activities, running about with weapons in hand or laughing with each other. The mood around here, he’s noticed, has lifted quite a bit since the war. Earlier he figured it would take time to get used to, but midway into October it seems that everyone's grieving time has passed. It’s time for new beginnings. </p><p>Nico wishes that he could have told himself to start his own new beginning, back when he was younger. He didn’t know any better than to be upset about what he didn’t have anymore and be angry with Bianca, with Percy, with everyone who let him down. </p><p>He knows his anger was valid. But that doesn’t mean he wishes he could have made it better for himself. </p><p>Speaking of Percy… a warm breeze brushes against Nico’s cheek, and he turns his head instinctively with its current, catching a full view of the cabins. The Poseidon cabin stands out, practically gleaming in Nico’s eyes. </p><p>It’s been kind of weird since he told Percy. Not that Percy was mocking him for what he felt; it was just… strange. For so long he hated Percy, not only because Nico accused him of letting Bianca die, but also for making him feel this strange way. For so long, Nico called his attraction <em> disgusting </em>, but he’s working on it now. He knows that it’s okay, that he can love who he wants. Times are better now.</p><p>That doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have that disgusted feeling gnawing at him, keeping him up at night. Things might be better now, but the benefits of this century only remind him of what could have been in the 20th century. He knows that he’d have died had anyone found out, and he thinks about that on a constant basis. </p><p>Nico remembers the short period of time he stayed at Camp Half-Blood before Percy’s disappearance, before he played the role that would either serve as a catalyst for an amazing friendship or another Civil War. How confused, upset, disgusted he felt with himself when he was still dealing with all those realizations.</p><p>A strong wave of humility, anger, and shame drown Nico’s heart, so forceful that he almost feels like he’s right back to that dark time as he stares out ahead of him at all the campers. He remembers this camp and all the terrible things it had done to him - <em> What makes me think it couldn’t happen again? </em></p><p>He isn’t even aware that he’s zoning out until a familiar and warm voice tells him, “Geez, Nico, if looks could kill you’ve probably just murdered about all those campers over there.” </p><p>Suddenly Nico’s escorted back to the present, his mournful and dark thoughts melting away as he turns to look at Will and his sunny disposition. The blond raises an eyebrow, bags of chips and sunscreen in his tanned arms. Nico has to blink a few times to get his bearings again. </p><p><em> This isn’t back then, </em> he reminds himself. <em> This is the present. This is the future. Things have and will change </em>.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Will inquires, settling down in the seat with Nico and handing him a bag of Lays. </p><p>Nico takes the bag hesitantly, not meeting Will’s eyes. He feels like he’s going to explode, like he’s void of all emotions, like he’s a detonating bomb, like he’s about to melt. Like so many feelings all at once, with no coordination or sense. Just vague emotions eating at his insides like a parasite. </p><p>He nods, but just doing that action makes his head spin a little. “Yeah. Just zoned out a bit.” </p><p>“Okay,” Will responds, but the shakiness in his voice convinces Nico he’s not quite sure if it’s “okay” or not. Wisely, though, he leaves it, and Nico admires him for that. Some people don’t know when to stop, but Will does. </p><p>“Anyway,” the son of Apollo continues, handing him a bottle of sunscreen. “You might wanna put this on.” </p><p>So Nico does as instructed and hands it back to Will, who promptly does the same. For a few moments, a comfortable quiet falls in the space between them, and Nico pulls open the Lays bag of chips. He takes just one, but no more. He’s still thinking about his younger self, how the strange and hateful younger Nico would be so disgusted in this older version of him, wondering why on Earth he was associating with people who would never care about him. </p><p>Nico wishes he could go back and tell him that some people aren’t as bad as they seem. That he’ll rekindle a friendship he once lost, that he’ll learn to realize that even though the world might be bad, it isn’t as bad as it used to be.</p><p>That there is a chance for him, even if he doesn’t think there is. </p><p>The boys don’t talk; the only sound is of the crunching of chips (mostly from Will) and the crinkling of bags (mostly from Nico). But Will decides to disrupt this loud silence when he stops munching and surprises Nico by asking him a question: “Nico, do you remember all those years ago?”</p><p>Nico tilts his head towards Will, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Suddenly Will looks uncomfortable, pink bleeding across his freckled cheeks and his eyes shifting to the side. He hunches in on himself, and by the looks of his body language, it seems that Will’s wondering why he would say that out loud. </p><p>“Um… I don’t know,” he begins sheepishly, an uneasy smile painting his lips. “It’s just… You know, we used to be friends. Before all that shit broke loose, back when you first came to camp.” He turns back to face Nico, this time his own golden eyebrows knit together in tension. “And then after the Titan War, you know, we kinda started talking again. That was fun.” Will shrugs. “I guess I just… I’m wondering what happened. Like, why did we stop being friends?”</p><p>Nico takes in Will’s golden features - his tan skin, his gleaming curls, his freckles - wondering how to respond to that.</p><p>“I… don’t really know, Will,” he responds. Acknowledging the dark cloud washing over his eyes, Nico rushes to quickly add: “But I didn’t forget that we were friends, if that’s what you’re wondering.”</p><p>And Nico really didn’t forget. </p><p>He remembers noticing Will during the Battle of Manhattan, when he was acting as lead medic and caring to the wounded along with some of his other siblings and helpers. Just by glancing at his expression, Nico knew he’d faced a terrible loss - though at the time, he wasn’t sure who had died.</p><p>Will’s expression is forever ingrained in Nico’s mind. It was a mix of frantic, stressed, worried, scared, traumatized and grieving. He rushed around, making sure to get to all the people, whether or not they had any chance of surviving, and the entire time his eyebrows were furrowed together, a wrinkle lining the center of them. He looked exhausted and battered - but, thinking back on it, Nico isn’t even surprised that he was so nervous. After all, he’d just watched another brother go missing, and suddenly he, a single thirteen year old Will Solace, was in charge of a whole group of his siblings. </p><p>Nico watched as the blond son of Apollo rushed to the side of a demigod lying in a cot on the ground, his body still and his breathing getting shallower. Will gripped the boy’s arm, urging him to drink a sip of water, but the boy shook his head. Instead, he held Will’s hand and murmured a few words which Nico couldn’t hear. </p><p>A strong aura of death enveloped the boy. It was like his soul was bleeding out into the atmosphere, trying to escape that trap of a body, ready to descend into the Underworld. It was only a matter of letting go of the body, of the one connection to the real world. </p><p>Will’s eyes filled with tears, his face crumpling immediately, and he kept muttering, “No, no, no” adamantly, as if he was ready to do anything to save the boy’s life. Anything. </p><p>“It’s my job,” he murmured, his voice choked by his tears. “I’m supposed to save people.” He stared at his hands, watching them with new eyes. “But I’m not, am I? What purpose do I serve if I can’t even save you?”</p><p>The dying demigod gripped Will’s arm, forcing the younger boy to look at him, and muttered something uncomprehendingly. In response, Will only murmured, “No no no no” repeatedly, for a very long time, even as Nico felt the soul of the body let go, lose its only grip on the mortal world and go into a new world of peace and honorable death. </p><p>Nico didn’t cry that moment. If he did, then he’d have stayed there very long - not just to mourn for the death of that one camper, but also the death of so many more that he’d witnessed just on the way to the Empire State Building. </p><p>Later, when it seemed like people were ready to clean up - after all the damage had been done - Nico found Will again, sitting dejectedly on the sidewalk, his head shoved into his arms. Pain and grief oozed from him, so much so that it formed a metaphorical puddle around him, flooding the street. Just being around Will made Nico want to drop onto his knees and sob, but he refrained from doing so. Instead, he nervously edged towards him. Upon hearing the shuffling, Will raised his head. </p><p>Nico remembers how uneasy he felt during that moment. Even then, he knew that there was something between him and Will, and he wasn’t sure if Will would be happy to see him. But Will was too emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted to care. He took one look at Nico, smiled nervously like “I remember you but I won’t mention it because I’m too upset to get into this with you right now,” and made room for him to sit down. </p><p>The two talked, not so much catching up but rather just talking about how Will was feeling (that was when Nico found out he’d lost another brother) and how Nico managed to get the army to come up. It wasn’t anything special, but somehow in the way that Will was talking amazedly about Nico’s feat made him feel really good. He felt worthwhile to someone. </p><p>So Nico took Will down to a nearby McDonalds, just for food. That marked the beginning of the second round of their friendship, but even that round ended tragically.</p><p>“Well…,” Will murmurs, snapping Nico back into the moment, “what happened between us?”</p><p>Nico stares at Will’s profile, feeling as though his voice has been stolen. He’s not sure there’s a set-in-stone answer; there was a lot going on at that time. </p><p>Perhaps Nico’s taking too long to answer, because Will’s face turns to stare him in the eyes, almost as if testing him, daring him to give him a straight answer. “I feel like we had a good thing going on,” he says, shrugging. “Then you ran off for a year.” Almost as soon as he says that, his eyebrows jump and a panicked look takes over his face. “Not that I’m blaming you for anything, I mean. Like, now I know there was a lot happening back then. I just… didn’t know where you were. I was worried.” Will’s lips quirk into a shy, relieved, honest smile. “But I’m glad you’re here now.” A blush coats his tanned cheeks and he takes his eyes away from Nico, suddenly very focused on his sandals. “And I’m glad we’re catching up again. I missed you, you know.”</p><p>Nico doesn’t know how to respond, much less how to feel. He wasn’t expecting this kind of honesty today, especially not from Will. He hasn’t been told such heartwarming and touching things in a long time that he’s almost forgotten how good it feels to be wanted. </p><p>“Will… that was really nice.” Nico smiles at him, picking at his jeans uncomfortably. “Thank you.” </p><p>Will continues smiling at him, and Nico knows that he’s expecting more to come from his mouth. A beat of silence passes as Nico thinks about what to say. </p><p>“I think,” begins Nico, “there were a lot of reasons we fell out. One of them has to do with the whole war thing that was about to happen.” </p><p>Will nods. “I realize that now. I was confused why you left so suddenly. I think some part of me thought it had to do with me.” </p><p>Nico shakes his head. “It was never about you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” </p><p>“It’s okay.” Will watches him curiously, squinting his eyes at Nico as if trying to assess him. “But I have a feeling that it wasn’t just that.”</p><p>Nico opens and closes his mouth, unsure of how to respond. Will’s right, of course. But he’s not sure how much he wants Will to know.</p><p>Nico remembers that period of time, before the start of the new prophecy. It was the middle of October, just as it is now. Nico’s surprised to realize that it only happened a year ago. He’s grown so much since then.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One afternoon, Nico had been lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Just thinking. Thinking about his mother, his sister, his father, the Battle of Manhattan. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>About Percy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After everything that had happened, Nico was finally getting a chance to mull over his feelings for the son of Poseidon. And he hated that he got that chance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Words could never describe how disgusted he felt with himself at that time. He was revolted, disgusted, nauseated by the fact that he, a boy, was in love with another male. He thought for sure it was some kind of mental illness, that on top of everything else that had happened to him he had to deal with having feelings for someone who could never love him in the same way. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Darkness roiled inside him. Humility gripped his chest. Disgust made him lose his breath. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How could I like Percy? What is wrong with me? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that wasn’t just it. He hated himself more when he saw Percy and Annabeth together. Envy took a hold of his heart, of his mind, of his emotions every time he saw them. He thought it was so unfair that Annabeth got to have him. But most of all, he was jealous that they didn’t have to face the same feelings he did. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He just wanted to be normal. Nico’s father was the king of the Underworld, which already made him an outcast - now he was attracted to a boy? If anyone found out… No, he didn’t want to think about that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Speaking of his father… he’d been calling Nico down to the Underworld for some time now. He said he had an important mission for Nico, and the son of Hades was suspecting that it had to do with Camp Jupiter. He’d already been to the camp in September, when his father dropped the bomb that apparently Nico was going to have to play another important role in the situation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His father hadn’t given him much information. “Just know that very important things are going to happen, Nico,” was all he said. “I won’t be able to keep up a connection with you for much longer, but it is imperative that you know of Camp Jupiter’s existence. Soon, I will need you to be… an ambassador, of sorts.” Hades looked Nico square in the eyes, and a wave of emotions had taken over Nico. He stood a little straighter, puffing out his chest, mulling over the possible future. He had to make sure he looked strong, powerful, ready to do what his father expected of him. He wanted to make him proud. But what on earth was his father talking about?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You, my son,” Hades said, his voice resonating through Nico’s bones, “are going to be very important soon.” He placed his hands on Nico’s shoulders, and the boy nearly passed out from the powerful godly energy that emanated from his father. Darkness, death, misery seemed to pour out of the king of the Underworld’s touch. “The fate of the world might very well rest on your shoulders.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Back in his room, nausea roiled in Nico’s stomach at the very words, and he tried clenching his fist to try to get his mind off it. Lucky for him, though, a knock came from his door, immediately grabbing his attention. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico stood unsteadily, his breathing a little shallow. He was afraid… Afraid of what? he asked himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Too many answers took over his mind, creating a cacophony of words and feelings and noises. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stepping nervously to the door, Nico called, “Who is it?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Will,” the voice called behind the door. “Just wondering if you were ready for dinner.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico sighed in relief. He wasn’t sure why he was holding his breath, but he exhaled slowly in relief. Besides, Will was cool. Since the battle, the two had been talking together again. Sometimes Nico would help out in the infirmary, but definitely not as much as Nico does now in the present.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah,” Nico muttered. He opened the door, and for a moment, he was almost surprised by Will’s presence despite knowing he’d been behind the door the entire time. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The son of Apollo offered Nico a shy, sweet smile. Nico didn’t return it, but warmth spread in his chest at the idea of someone smiling at him just because . He closed the door and the boys made their way across the green and to the dining pavilion. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The evening was cool, the crisp fall air brushing past them. Grass and leaves crunched under their feet, gravel and rocks pricking at Nico’s shoes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey,” Will said nervously, “are you okay? I feel like you’ve been kinda… alone today. You seemed kinda preoccupied when we were on the lava wall.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico answered, “Yeah.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will didn’t look convinced, but he knew better than to question Nico, even back then. And they continued on to dinner. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>During the meal, Nico didn’t miss the way that Chiron watched him nervously. He knew that the old centaur knew about Camp Jupiter, and about how Hades had a plan to send Nico in as an underdog, give him the responsibility of a lifetime that he didn’t even know too much about yet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So he wasn’t surprised when Chiron called him up to his table and told him he had to leave the very next morning. “Be sure to pack carefully,” Chiron reminded him, standing as dinner was ending and it was time for the campfire. “And don’t tell anyone the truth.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As if Nico needed reminding. If anyone else knew about the west coast camp’s existence, there was no telling what could happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If Nico was being honest, he didn’t mind going all the way to the West. It meant he would get a distraction from himself; it meant that he didn’t have to think about Percy anymore. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that was such a hopeless prospect, because that’s all he thought about. Percy Percy Percy Percy. Camp Half-Blood’s most iconic hero, the Chosen One, the first child of the Big Three to be formally discovered in decades, the lovable and attractive Percy fucking Jackson. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes Nico wasn’t sure if he hated him or loved him. But after all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. Maybe it was both.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At the campfire, Will tilted his head towards Nico in curiosity and mentioned how he saw the son of Hades talk to Chiron. “What were you two talking about?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico shrugged the question off, responding, “Nothing important.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will raised a brow, unconvinced, but he didn’t push Nico. He’d learned to understand that Nico was a very secretive person. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico wasn’t sure what prompted him, but suddenly he turned towards the blond and said, “Actually, there is something I have to tell you.” At the same time, though, Will asked, “Can I tell you something?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh,” both the boys said at the same time, “you go first.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This caused the two demigods to smile at each other sheepishly. Will snorted. “You can go first.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The smile on Nico’s face vanished as fast as it appeared. “I just want to let you know that I have to leave camp in the morning. You know, just in case you get worried.” But why would he even worry? he thought to himself. Not like it really matters, because he has other friends too .</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will’s eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. The image was so comical Nico was sure he was watching a cartoon. “ Leaving ?” Will gasped. “Why?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico opened his mouth to respond with a hasty lie when Chiron grasped the attention of all the campers and told them it was time to head to bed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will stared at Chiron, his eyebrows bent down in worry, looking at the centaur as if he’d betrayed him in some way. Nico stood and asked, instead of responding to the son of Apollo’s question, “What was it you wanted to tell me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will was still watching him incredulously, as if Nico had just sprouted a new arm. After a moment, Will just shook his head and answered with silent frustration, “It’s not that important.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>At that moment, Nico felt bad. He didn’t want Will to feel like his news was less important than Nico’s. He knew what it was like to feel like your words were unimportant, that you were unimportant; he didn’t want Will to feel like he wasn’t being heard. “Are you sure? I’m still ready to listen.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will shook his head and frowned, not meeting Nico’s eyes. “There’s not really a point in telling you now.” With that said, he pushed past the son of Hades and marched with his siblings to the Apollo cabin, leaving Nico feeling hollow and empty. </em>
</p><p><em>What had gotten into Will? Why did he sound so angry with Nico now? He sighed. </em>Well, better to have him hate me before I leave. Then there’s less chance of me missing anyone from here.</p><p>
  <em>The next morning, way before the rest of camp had woken up, Nico stood at the top of Half-Blood Hill, carrying a black backpack filled to the brim with supplies. The moist air brushed past his skin, the wet grass grabbing at his ankles. Chiron was getting the van ready to take Nico to Central Park to make his way to the Underworld. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico took a good look around the camp, taking in the beauty of the scenery, the roofs of the cabins, the lake, the lava wall, the dining pavilion, the rising sun. Just everything. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt so sad, knowing that he was about to leave a camp that never even felt like home to him in the first place, but emptiness still clawed his heart at the idea of leaving. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And yet, some part of him was relieved. Leaving camp meant he wouldn’t have to see Percy for a long, long time. He couldn't decide if he was excited or dreadful, but at least he wouldn’t have to think about it too much. Or at least, he wouldn’t have to worry about seeing the son of Poseidon, because he knew that it didn’t matter how much he ran - the truth of his feelings kept pestering him, taunting him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Distantly, he heard the sound of a boy’s voice calling, and he turned his head to see that none other than Will Solace was running towards him, clad in blue cloud-printed pajama pants and an orange Camp Half-Blood sweatshirt. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nico!” he exclaimed, and Nico’s eyebrows rose up to his forehead. He wasn’t expecting anyone - especially not Will, after last night - to come say goodbye. Something about the act touched Nico, but he figured Will would have done this for anyone; it was just his nature.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The young demigod stopped in front of him, panting and gasping for air, his golden curls swirling wildly around his head, his freckles particularly prominent in the gray morning. He peered at Nico with his sapphire blue eyes, filled with anxiety and concern, and asked, “Do you have to go, Nico? Why?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico just shook his head. Above, gray clouds bunched up together, and a crow squawked, flying around in a circle. It landed at Nico’s feet, peering up at him with beady eyes. Silently, Nico felt like he was being tested. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico looked behind him, watching if Chiron was peering over at the interaction between the boys. The camp director seemed busy in talking to Argus, which was for the better. Nico didn’t want him thinking he’d told Will the truth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nico closed his eyes, sighing. “Listen,” he muttered, his eyes burning intensely. “There are things that are beyond you. Important things are going to happen soon, Will. Even I’m not sure what’s going to happen. It’s best if you just leave now, go back to sleep. I don’t want to worry you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But Nico-” Will choked out, but nothing else seemed to come out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Go, Will.” He turned his head back towards the car, realizing that Chiron was making his way up the hill. Nico turned back to the demigod. “I have to leave now. It was nice catching up with you during the summer, though.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He left Will there, his mouth agape and his eyes filled with confusion and a sense of betrayal.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Now, Nico’s watching Will again, wondering how to answer him. <em> I have a feeling it wasn’t just that. </em>Nico shrugs, finally.</p><p>“Yeah,” he murmurs. “There was more than the whole Camp Jupiter thing.” He bites his bottom lip, unsure of how to finish his thought. “I don’t really want to get into it right now.” </p><p>Will bobs his head in understanding. “That’s fine, that’s fine. If you wanna tell me at some point, though, I’m ready. Just when you’re comfortable.” </p><p>Nico smiles. “Thank you, Will. Really.” His mouth curls into an uneasy frown. “You know, looking back on it… I’m sorry, too. I didn’t forget you, Will, honestly.” He turns his eyes back to the blond, hoping against all odds that he can feel Nico’s sincerity. “I just think that with everything going on… I’m gonna be honest, I guess I just didn’t think too much about what we had. But I really admired our friendship. Really.” Nico huffs out a laugh, but there’s no humor behind it. “It’s kinda funny, I hate when people just… don’t give others a second thought. When they step on others’ feelings.” He squints at Will, trying to gauge his feelings through his body language. The son of Apollo doesn’t exactly look happy, but he doesn’t seem too upset, either. Just trying to understand. “I guess I did that to you, huh?”</p><p>“It’s fine, Nico,” Will says earnestly, a warm smile on his face. But judging from his eyes, Nico knows that he’s hurt Will’s feelings. <em> Stupid</em>, Nico thinks to himself. <em> Why did I say that to him</em>?</p><p>Looking at Nico, Will laughs quietly. “No, really. It’s fine. You had a lot going on, but so did I. I don’t want you to feel bad. I’m sorry if I did that.” </p><p>“No, no, you didn’t.” </p><p>“Besides,” Will adds, “we have each other now, right? That’s what matters.” Will leans into Nico a little, sharing his sunshiney warmth with the son of Hades. “We can build up our friendship again. And this time, maybe it’ll be something permanent. If you want that.” </p><p>Warmth spreads through Nico’s body, a feeling that he hasn’t quite felt in a while. “Yeah,” he agrees, “I would like that.” </p><p>“And,” Will continues, “if we’re going to apologize to each other, I might as well too.” The smile on his face fades out, replaced with a sheepish look in his eyes and he licks his bottom lip nervously. “I’ve been thinking about that moment in the battle over the summer, when you were talking about leaving camp again.” Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Will continues, “I feel kinda bad about that moment. I feel like I was being kinda rude, like… You know, I think I was invalidating your feelings. That wasn’t fair of me. I didn’t know what you’d been through at that time, so I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to talk to you like that.” He shrugs. “I’m really sorry, Nico.” </p><p>Nico nudges Will with his shoulder. “Look at us being wholesome and apologetic. But it’s fine, Will.” He holds out his hand, a small smile plastered on his face. “Truce?”</p><p>Will laughs. “Truce.” He sighs contentedly. “I’m so glad to get that off my chest.” </p><p>Nico smiles to himself. He’s glad too; he’s felt a little guilty for making Will feel like it was because of him that Nico had left the second time. But on top of all that, he really is relieved that he has Will as a friend again. He doesn’t feel nearly as empty as he used to; knowing that someone at camp does care about him makes him feel a little better about himself, like he matters to someone. </p><p>But it isn’t just Will. Nico’s happy to be back at camp for other reasons, too. He feels freer, like he’s been a ghost who’s just completed their unfinished business and is ready to enter eternal rest. He’s glad to have a home again, and while it’s not exactly the same as his place in Italy, or his father’s palace, or Camp Jupiter, it’s a home. It’s a stable place. And he’s glad to honestly say that he’ll be staying at camp longer. </p><p>After all, he’s missed out on really growing up and being a teenager. And while camp isn’t the best place to “be a teenager,” it’s the closest he can get. Maybe now he’ll get some time to himself, learn about who he is as a person (because he’s sure that there’s so much more that he hasn’t discovered yet, and he’s excited to know that times are so much better now and allow him to truly understand who he is) and maybe get a proper education since he’d been on the run for so long. It’s the closest to normalcy he can get, and he’ll accept it. </p><p>Having Will as a friend is great, too. He’s glad to know that he has someone to lean on, because for so long he felt like he didn’t. And it also feels nice to know that someone leans on him, because it shows him that there are more people out there that truly trust him with their secrets, their worries, their stories. Having Will depend on him tells him that things are getting better. </p><p>So now he’s wondering… A friendship requires two people to trust each other. And over the past few weeks, Nico has learned to trust Will. If he’s being honest, he’d even trust the son of Apollo with his life - but maybe that’s because Will is <em> actually </em>a medic. </p><p>Besides all that, something in Nico is pushing him to tell Will about… about him being gay. He isn’t sure why, exactly. Maybe it’s because he feels a relation to Will, because the two of them have both been through quite a bit. After all, Will lost some family members, just like Nico. </p><p>Or maybe it’s for some other reason. Nico isn’t completely sure why, but some part of him seems to be attached to the blond. Perhaps attached isn’t the right word… more like <em> attracted</em>. Will’s the sun, and Nico’s a planet. Maybe he just wants to be part of Will’s orbit, travel around him in circles from a good distance away - a safe distance, but still close enough to feel his warmth.</p><p>Maybe he <em> could </em> tell the son of Apollo about him being gay. But how would he react? Would he throw Nico into the dust, yell at him, say he’s disgusting? </p><p>Or would he be accepting?</p><p>What did Jason say when they met Cupid? “That was one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen,” or something along those lines. </p><p>“Can I tell you something?” Nico asks, his tongue suddenly feeling heavy in his mouth. He rolls the pack of chips closed, then rolls it open again. Close, open, close, open. </p><p>Will blinks in surprise. “Yeah, you can tell me anything.” </p><p>Nico takes a deep breath, subconsciously counting the seconds… 1, 2, 3, 4… and he exhales for another 1, 2, 3, 4 seconds. Anxiety spikes in his bones, his chest and cheeks spreading with warm blood. Invisible needles lightly prick his skin. He continues crumpling the bag of chips in his fingers and carefully avoids Will’s eyes. </p><p>“Will…” he starts, squeezing his eyes shut. He inhales. “I’m gay.” </p><p><em> And exhale </em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Will is a fucking simp for Nico but what else is new</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’m gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s face betrays anxiety and fear, his eyes wide with doubt. He leans a bit away from Will, as if guarding himself from his reply, ready to run if he needs to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s eyebrows shoot up to his scalp. He doesn’t mean to, but among all the other terrifying things that Will thought Nico was going to say, telling him he was gay was definitely not among that list of “Scary Things Nico Might Say.” He starts to laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Will isn’t thinking about his actions - the laughter just came out of nowhere. Upon seeing Will’s expression, Nico’s mouth pulls into a frown, and his eyes gleam with anger, ferality. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Embarrassment</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as it starts, Will’s laughter stops and he rushes to explain himself. “Nico, wait, I’m not laughing </span>
  <em>
    <span>at </span>
  </em>
  <span>you.” He reaches out towards the son of Hades, not touching him because he knows how much he hates that. He’s merely telling him that he’s close by. “I’m just laughing because… Well, because it’s just funny that you think </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>would hate you for being gay.” Will tilts his head to the side and tries to offer an easy, comfortable smile, to let Nico know that he’s being honest. “Because the funny thing is that I’m into guys too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The red hot rage that took over Nico just seconds ago melts away quickly, and now he looks as if he’s been slapped in the face. His mouth hangs open a little, and now it’s his turn to raise his eyebrows. “Oh,” he says. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just a simple word, but his tone of voice tells Will that he’s surprised, shocked, speechless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will leans in a little, his eyes peering into Nico’s. He’s never noticed how deep and dark his brown eyes are. They seem like they’ve seen worlds beyond Will’s imagination, things no one should ever have to see. A wave of guilt washes over Will. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did I laugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An uncomfortable silence falls over the boys, making a wall between them. The son of Hades, who still seems in shock, turns away from Will and focuses on his shoes, as if mulling this new information over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another moment of awkward silence passes before Will announces, “I’m sorry, Nico.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s attention is pulled to Will, almost as if his voice hooked a rope around Nico’s focus and forced him to turn towards him. His eyes are blank, as if still thinking deeply. “Why are you sorry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have laughed at you,” Will murmurs. “I just thought it was funny because… well, honestly, I’ve been meaning to tell you for years.” A deep blush conquers his face, battling the tan of his skin for control. “The fact that you blurted it out like that just kinda threw out all formality of telling you, I guess. And I didn’t really factor in the fact that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> also from a different time period. I bet things were way different back then.” He lowers his lashes in shame. “You were probably nervous to tell me. Honestly, Nico, I didn’t mean to laugh at you like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico offers him a shaky smile. “I forgive you, Will.” He tilts his head a little and squints at the son of Apollo, as if analyzing him. Will squirms under his gaze, feeling as if he’s under fire for something. He wonders what’s going on in Nico’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been meaning to tell me that for a while?” Nico asks finally. He’s still watching Will, a guarded expression on his face. Will feels like a science experiment, being observed and surveyed under the son of Hades’ sharp gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Will says. He locks his fingers through a small rip in his shorts, twirling it through and pulling it out again, if only to get a distraction from Nico and his beautiful eyes. “You remember we were at the campfire that night before you left? I was meaning to tell you… I mean, I was kind of struggling. So much had happened at that point, and I guess I just wanted to tell someone, to see if I would feel better about myself.” Will’s shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. “I thought you’d be the best person to tell.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” Nico says that like a finality, like the period at the end of a sentence. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Huh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Will wonders how he can make his voice that way, like the end-all of something. His dark eyes bear into Will’s again, searching through him, looking for answers. “Why me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will isn’t expecting this question. He rolls the question over in his head: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why Nico? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Was it because he subconsciously knew he and Nico were alike? Was it because he, Nico, was one of Will’s closest friends at that time? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Will knows the true answer. But if he tells Nico the truth - that he had a huge crush on him back then - he’s certain Nico will completely go back into himself, embarrassed. Nico’s worked pretty hard on opening up a bit more, slowly exposing his petals to the sunlight. If Will admits he liked him back then - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do I </span>
  </em>
  <span>still</span>
  <em>
    <span> like him</span>
  </em>
  <span>? he wonders - maybe Nico will close up again, hiding that sliver of his floral beauty from the world, all in mortification. The son of Hades hasn’t shared much of his past, or even much of his present with Will, so how uncomfortable would he be knowing that a boy had been pining after him from afar when they knew so little about each other from the start?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s not sure how long it’s been since Nico asked the question, but there’s a serene, patient look on the demigod, as if he’ll wait as long as Will needs. The sun lightly grazes his face, blanketing him in beautiful golden paint. The brown of his eyes pop out, absorbing the brightness of the sunlight. They remind Will of creamy dark chocolate, bitterly sweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at Nico now, in his dark and gorgeous glory, Will’s certain that he can’t risk telling him the truth. And with Nico becoming so ruggedly beautiful, his eyes as big and gorgeous as ever, his lips painted as red as roses, hair so shiny and soft, Will’s certain he’s falling all over again for this gorgeous mystery before him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shrugs casually, as if he weren’t just admiring Nico’s absolute ethereal beauty. He decides to go with a half truth: “I guess it’s because I saw something similar to myself in you. You felt like you didn’t belong, and I guess that reminded me of myself.” A playful grin takes over Will’s lips. “Believe it or not, I wasn’t as likable as I am now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile takes over Nico’s face, like a whisper slowly gliding against his lips. “I’m still debating how likable you actually are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very funny,” Will huffs. “But… I guess to properly answer your question, maybe because I kind of got it. I mean, I’m not saying that you and I are </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly </span>
  </em>
  <span>alike or anything, because we both have very different experiences. But I feel like… we kind of got each other, you know? We had a rhythm. It was a weird rhythm, but I felt comfortable with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So glad to hear it,” Nico muses. He’s silent for a moment, kicking his shoes against the floor of the carriage. Will watches him, admiring the way the sun gleams against his hair, highlights his every move and feature, examining him breathe and exist and wonder how a being could be so mysterious, gracious, majestic in his every move. Will feels as if he’s in a spell, where time slows and only Nico exists. Then the son of Hades turns his head to Will, and suddenly the spell is broken. His voice tumbles out his lips, the sound of it like petals flowing through the wind. Will barely hears him when he asks, “So, are you gay, too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shakes his head. “Honestly… I’m not quite sure. I’m thinking about it. I’ve been thinking that I’m homoflexible, maybe? So really, I just go with queer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Queer.” Nico says that slowly, as if he’s tasting the way it sounds on his tongue. “How long have you been questioning?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will wasn’t exactly expecting so much of an interrogation today from the son of Hades, but he also wasn’t quite expecting to get so heart-to-heart with him, either, so Will forges on with the answer. “Like I said, I guess I’ve been meaning to tell you since we met the second time. So I guess I’ve really been questioning since… I would say since I was eleven or twelve.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes widen in surprise. “Wow… Seems like you’ve been questioning for a while.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sheepish smile creeps up on Will’s face. “Yeah, I guess so. When did you know you were gay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun’s brightness hasn’t relented in any way, but a cloud seems to creep its way across Nico’s face, overcoming his eyes and dramatically turning his half-smile into a frown. His expression becomes unreadable, even more guarded than before, and suddenly Will wonders if he’s crossed a line. He’d be lying if he said he isn’t scared that he’s about to be slammed right down to the Underworld. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Nico doesn’t do such a thing. Instead, in a grave, deep voice, he tells Will smoothly, “I think I’ve known since I was young. There was always something different about me, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will nods, but his face feels cool, as if he were being drained. Watching Nico, he gets the uneasy feeling that he’s crossing into some kind of badlands. “Yeah, I get that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nods in acknowledgement. Will wants to ask more, but judging by Nico’s sudden desire to be silent, he assumes that that’s as much as Nico will open up for today. Will should respect that, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but curiosity still sparks inside him. He chooses to push it down for now, in respect to Nico’s privacy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence swirls between them, whispering through the few inches that sets them apart. It’s not really a comfortable one, either. Will wants to say something, anything, just to keep talking to the son of Hades, but he’s not sure what to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Nico smiles at him, his red lips pulling out mischievously. “Well, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only non-straight person here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will scoffs. “Oh, no, no, no, di Angelo. Trust me, there are </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>more queerdos at camp.” Taking a risk, Will bumps his shoulder with Nico’s. “You just have to find them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In that case, I’m glad I have a queer connosieur to lead me to the other non-straight people here.” He pats the pace between them on the chariot seat. “Now, while this budding romance was fun, I’d like to finish cleaning up this chariot so I can go on with my day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will raises an eyebrow. “Ever the sentimentalist, Nico.” He pulls himself up, dusting the chip crumbs off himself, and offers his hand to Nico to help him up. “Guess we should actually get productive now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That day seems to have unlocked something between the boys, because in the following weeks, Will senses a shift between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he’s just reading too much into it, but he swears that Nico’s starting to get more comfortable with him, at least a little bit. It’s in the way he smiles a little easier, relaxes his shoulders, seeks Will out first rather than vice versa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the beginning of their reconciliation, Will wasn’t sure how long they’d actually last. Would Nico leave again, forget about him? Would he even care about being friends again? But after these past few weeks, Will finds himself more confident in their friendship. He allows himself to hope that they have a chance at building up their relationship again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But maybe them being friends isn’t the only reason Will wants to build up their friendship. Underneath all that platonic admiration for Nico, Will is well aware of the strange emotions that stir up inside him just by the thought of Nico. All he has to do is notice the son of Hades from the corner of his eye, and his stomach tightens itself into a knot, heart fluttering in his chest, breath hitching as if he’s just seen the most beautiful thing in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whether or not Nico feels the same, Will’s not sure he actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>to know. Maybe it’s better off to be comfortable in his simple ignorance and pine from afar, as he used to do when Nico was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that gets hard quick when literally every time you see your crush, you’re struck by how different, how gorgeous he looks compared to his thirteen-year-old self. Even though it’s only been a year, Will gets a sense that Nico’s quite a bit - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. He’s been through a lot. Nico hasn’t told Will a lot about his past, but it’s pretty obvious he’s had his fair share of traumatic experiences. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But so has Will. So at the very least, he knows that he has Nico as someone to lean on. If he doesn’t like Will back, then that’s fine, as long as they can continue being friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speaking of being friends, it seems that Will isn’t the only one who’s been trying to be friends with Nico again. Percy hasn’t been very active at camp this year, but he comes around quite often. Will isn’t too knowledgeable about his relationship with Nico, but from what he can tell, it seems that there was something going on between them in the past that Percy’s trying to fix.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a fairly chilly evening for early November as Will makes his way to the amphitheater. He knows that Nico’s waiting for him there, ready to help take down all the Halloween decorations from the celebration just a few days ago. The air wisps around him, chilling the places where his skin is bare and left out to be bitten by the wind. It’s not too cold to be absolutely freezing, but Will wishes he’d grabbed a thicker sweatshirt than his Camp Half-Blood one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sinking sun offers a pink-gold glow over Camp Half-Blood, and Will’s suddenly overcome with an intense feeling of nostalgia as he peers over his surroundings, watches campers roam around, the sound of laughter melting in his ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembers an evening with his mom just like this, before he came to camp. She was on a break, no tours stealing her away from him. She would be focusing just on making more music for a little while, and he loved when she did. It meant she’d stay at home, take more care of him, tell him stories of her tours and talk about her fans and the people she met. And the best part was when she’d speak to him as if he were the only one who existed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The sun painted them over with a pinkish glow at the campsite that evening, setting lower and lower. Together, the two were lying in the grass, staring up at the clouds that would soon be too dark to notice. Will was eleven, just a few months before he’d make it to camp. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just a few months before his life would change forever. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Naomi Solace never hid much from Will; she was very honest with him. He knew that the Greek gods existed. He knew was a demigod. Sometimes his mom would tell him the stories about the Argonauts or Hercules. In Will’s eyes, his mother was one of the most intelligent people he’d ever known. She was his world. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That particular night, as they were lying down and watching the darkening sky shift and change, melt into all kinds of dark colors, Will curled into his mother’s side and asked, his eyes bright with excitement, “Can you tell me about Dad again?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Naomi laughed, a sweet, honey-like sound dripping over the two. Even when she wasn’t singing, Will found her voice mesmerizing. She twisted her sun-kissed face towards her son, bearing her blue eyes into his own. “How many times am I going to tell you about him, Will?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please?” Will smiled, trying to offer his best set of puppy-dog eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Naomi laughed again and circled her arms around him. “Okay, fine.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And so started her story. No matter how many times he’d heard the story, Will was always mesmerized by the grand romance of it. She was playing a concert in Austin, Texas, when she met Apollo, the god of music himself. It was after the show when she encountered him. Will always found it funny how his mom would talk about how absolutely annoying Apollo was being. “He wouldn’t stop flirting with me,” Naomi said. “I was so close to calling security on him.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eventually, it seemed, she got charmed by his persistence. “He may have been annoying, but he sure was handsome.” At this, Naomi looked at Will and smiled. “Gods don’t have DNA, Will, but you are definitely your father’s son. You have the same sunny energy as him.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She talked about how annoyingly attractive he was, with that golden skin and hair so blond it was like a bit of the sun was used to make his locks. He had an easy smile, Naomi said, just like Will. As the young boy watched his mother speak, he didn’t miss that small grin on her lips, like she was living that memory again. He cuddled closer. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He tried using cheesy pick up lines on me, like they would work.” Naomi rolled her eyes playfully. “I guess it worked, though, because I couldn’t stop laughing. He was so… interesting, Will.” She combed her nimble fingers through Will’s curls gently, watching him with so much love that Will’s entire body warmed. “Eventually, well, one thing led to another.” She bopped him on the nose. “And now you’re here.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you miss him, Mom?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She didn’t seem surprised by this question. Naomi turned her face to the sky again, which had grown even darker. Stars sparkled in the sky, reflecting in her eyes. “Sometimes,” she admitted. “But I only knew him for a few days.” She shrugged. “I guess sometimes I wish he could have actually stayed, to see you be born and come into this world. But he’s also a Greek god - he’s not exactly allowed to interfere.” A small, disappointed sigh escaped her lips. “I just wish he knew how amazing you were, Will.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will watched her profile, gauging her feelings from the set of her lips and the crinkle in her eyebrows. He wasn’t sure what prompted him, but then he asked, “Do you regret having me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He asked that matter-of-factly. But the look on his mother’s face looked so horrified, so distraught, that Will immediately regretted asking her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course not, Will,” she said, digging her eyes into his. They were filled with so much sincerity, so much love that a wave of sadness and guilt washed over the blond boy and tears sprung in his eyes. She enveloped him into a hug. “You are one of the best things to happen to me. Don’t ever forget that.” She smiled at him and placed her hand over his heart. “You’re my Sunshine Boy. You light up my world, and I need you.” Placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, Naomi sat up and grinned at him mischievously. “Now, come on. We gotta eat dinner before we starve to death.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thinking about that memory, Will wants to sit right here in the grass and cry. Every now and then he thinks about his mom, but never has he felt so sad in her absence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He touches his chest, right above his heart where his mother patted him that evening so many years ago. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sunshine Boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shakes his head to clear himself of the memory. He has to focus on finding Nico. Roving over the campgrounds, his eyes land on the amphitheater and a familiar raven-haired boy. A wave of </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>flows through Will, making his heart flutter. He picks up his pace as he walks towards the son of Hades, but he slows down when he realizes he’s talking to someone else. From where Will’s standing, facing their backs, it seems he’s talking to Percy Jackson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will doesn’t get jealous often. He takes pride in that fact. But since Percy and Nico have started talking more, a pang of envy blooms inside him each time he notices them together. He doubts there’s anything romantic going on between them, especially since Percy’s made it clear he’s trying to focus more on his schoolwork and Nico’s made it clear he’s only trying to focus on himself more. Yet, watching Percy lean his head towards Nico as if in serious conversation, he can’t help but to wonder what exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>going on between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe I’m just paranoid</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Will thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nico’s allowed to have more friends, so shouldn’t I just be happy that he’s really trying this time? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As he edges closer, he can hear them murmuring, though he can’t decipher their words. Percy’s lilting tone tells Will that he’s teasing Nico about something, though he isn’t sure of what. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, guys,” Will calls, hoping against all hope his jealousy doesn’t make itself known in his voice. Nico’s head snaps towards him as he makes his way around, his eyes opening wide as if he’s just been caught doing something suspicious. A deep blush spreads across his cheeks. Percy smiles at Will, his eyes gleaming mischievously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, dude,” the son of Poseidon replies, an eyebrow raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at Percy, Will feels sudden regret at even being jealous. He isn’t necessarily the </span>
  <em>
    <span>nicest </span>
  </em>
  <span>person, but Percy and Will have always been on friendly terms, especially since he saved Annabeth during the Titan War. It isn’t fair of Will to stare daggers at him just because he’s talking to his crush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will smiles at him. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothin’ much.” He shares a look with Nico, then grins at the boys and lifts himself up. “But it’s getting pretty late. I should probably head home.” With a wave of his hand, he backs away from them, leaving the two boys alone together. “See you guys later!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico turns his head to Will tentatively, nervously, his expression guarded as if anxious what Will will say about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He offers an easy smile. Nico seems to relax and give a small smile of his own. He shifts a little to the right, making room for Will even though it’s not necessary - there’s literally no one else in the amphitheater. But Will plops himself down next to him anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the setting sun, Will can’t help but to notice how innocent Nico looks. The pink hue of the setting sun spreads across Nico’s face. His dark eyes absorb the light, a rose tint to the dark brown irises. Nico’s cheeks are coated with a light pink from the cold, and the red of his lips stand out. He’s wearing a sweatshirt fit for the cold and, surprisingly, sweatpants. Will’s sure he hasn’t seen the son of Hades in anything but skinny ripped jeans, but him in sweatpants isn’t a bad look. He looks more comfortable, relaxed. He looks right at home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was Percy talking to you about?” Will asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He isn’t exactly expecting a straight answer from Nico, seeing that the boy has been pretty hushed up about his relationship with Percy. Yet, as always, Nico surprises Will: “He asked me to come with him for brunch tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s eyebrows shoot so high up he’s sure they’ve escaped his face entirely. All those thoughts of being jealous towards Percy return within an instant, and his heart feels like metal. “Oh?” he says, trying not to notice how high his pitch has gone up. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why am I acting like this? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Will chides himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nico doesn’t belong to you. They’re just friends.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nods. “Yeah. He just wants to… I don’t know, I guess he just wants to catch up?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Catch up? I thought that was what you guys have been doing since, like, the end of summer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico winces, measuring the weight of the words. “Well, technically, yeah. But…” He turns his head away, staring at his feet, as if thinking about how much to say. Will can practically see the gears in his head turning, considering how careful he has to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t mean to, but the words escape out of Will anyway: “You know you can trust me, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico looks taken aback, surprised by his blurting. Will wishes he’d shut up, but Nico only smiles wanly. “Yeah, I do. It’s just that… Percy and I haven’t exactly had the best relationship.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will wants to ask more, question what he means, but he doesn’t. He’s learned that Nico tells him things at his own time, and there’s no point in rushing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucky for Will, Nico seems to be in a sharing mood today. He watches Will cautiously, measuring him up and down, wondering how much he can trust Will with the next words to flow out of his mouth. Will straightens himself, trying to seem as inviting as possible. He seems to pass whatever test Nico’s giving, because the son of Hades fidgets with his sweatshirt, a sure sign that he’s about to tell Will something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna know the real reason I left?” he asks quietly, nervously, as if trying to hide away his secrets from any eavesdroppers. Will nods his head, intrigued. Nico gazes around the two boys anxiously, and Will gets the feeling that he should lean in to ease his worry, show him that whatever he tells him, it’ll only be between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… I mean, I guess the short answer is that I liked Percy.” A bright red blush bleeds across his cheeks, his eyes wavering from side to side, avoiding Will. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will wants to smile at Nico’s nervousness, but instead he only feels a lodge in his throat. Even after all that time mulling over his sexuality, Nico still seems nervous about it, as if someone’s going to jump out and ridicule him at any moment just for being who he is. He wants to tell Nico he doesn’t have to be so secretive of liking guys, but taking into account how much trauma the son of Hades has probably been through, he knows it probably won’t be as easy as that. You don’t just forgive and forget that kind of shit in your life. It sticks for a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will tries not to acknowledge the waves of fear he senses from Nico’s fidgeting. He only smiles gently, hoping it covers up his pity. Nico would never want anyone pitying him. “Percy, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shrugs. “Yeah. It’s just… at that time, everything was just so intense. I was still grieving over Bianca, and I was thirteen. It was just, like… I don’t know. I didn’t know how to deal with it, or my feelings. I thought I was… revolting, basically. Like, what kind of guy likes another guy?” He shrugs. “I couldn’t deal. He was a huge part of the reason I left.” A shadow crosses over Nico’s face. “And for a long time I blamed him for Bianca, too. Her death. I guess it just unnerved me that I was in love with someone who I also happened to hate a lot. Too many emotions. I was really angry and… and scared.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will nods in understanding. He may not have been in Nico’s shoes at the time, but he understands the overwhelming feelings, things happening too fast and too sudden and too </span>
  <em>
    <span>much</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the world seemingly fine while you’re the only one eroding into nothingness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel now?” Will asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel about… Percy?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shrugs. “Yeah. But also, like, in general. Do you still feel scared of yourself? For liking guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico snorts, which Will wasn’t expecting. “Well, I don’t like Percy anymore, which is kind of a relief. He’s great and all but… he’s not for me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will almost blurts that it’s a relief for him, too, but he just barely manages to catch himself. He only smiles. “Well, congrats. Sometimes the first queer crush you get is really hard to get over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or sometimes you never get over them</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks wistfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head. “Yeah, you don’t need to tell me twice.” He grips his long, ring-clad fingers against the edge of his seat and leans forward, facing the grass at their feet. “But I guess now… I don’t really know how I feel. I mean, I know life is better for… us” - Will doesn’t miss the way he says “us,” like he’s avoiding naming what they really are: </span>
  <em>
    <span>queer</span>
  </em>
  <span> - “but it’s just kinda hard to get over all that stuff I was taught.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get that.” Daringly, Will scoots a little closer to Nico - not enough to freak him out, but enough to let him know that he’s here. Nico looks up but doesn’t scooch away. Will takes that as a good sign. “I want you to know that you don’t have to deal with that internalized homophobia on your own, okay? If you want help, well… I’m here. I know everyone’s experiences are totally different, but I had a taste of it myself when I realized I might be queer.” He nudges Nico’s shoulder with his own, just barely brushing against him. “But maybe I can offer you some tips or something. I can help you, only if you want me to. Just know that people are, in a very generalized sense, a little more accepting than they were back then of people like us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will almost loses his breath when Nico offers him a small smile. It isn’t that Nico doesn’t smile; it’s just that he’s never seen it so genuine before. It’s like he’s saving it all for Will, has </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>been saving it just for him. His heart skips a beat at just the sheer beauty of such a small gesture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Will. Really.” He chews his bottom lip thoughtfully, furrowing his eyebrows together as if thinking about something. Finally, he announces in a quiet, hesitant voice, “I would like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin takes control of Will’s lips. “Well, looks like you’re signed for How to Tackle Internalized Homophobia 101 with Will Solace. Glad to have you in class.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico rolls his eyes. “You’re such a dork.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will laughs quietly, letting it tumble out of his lips and die out again. The sky has darkened a bit, with its evening blue creeping in and mixing with the gold and pink of the sky. Stars peak through the darkness, and a chilling wind brushes past them, whispering against Will’s skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of silence, Nico asks, “How are… your siblings?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will frowns. This is a strange question, because Nico sees his siblings on a regular basis these days. He shrugs. “I mean, they’re fine. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant, like, about your dad. Apollo. How are you guys? Any sign of him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just with the mention of Apollo, Will feels his skin prickle with goosebumps. A chill slithers down his back and makes the hair on his arms stand on end. His stomach feels tight and uncomfortable, clenched with worry, and on instinct he scoots back from Nico, the very name of his father coming out of his mouth like a slap to his face. By the furrow of his eyebrows, Will can tell that Nico’s realized he is uneasy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or you don’t have to talk about it,” he rushes to add. “No pressure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Will shakes his head, leaning forward. “No, it’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico waits patiently, his silence standing for the fact that he’s expecting something from Will. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In truth, Will isn’t sure why he’s getting so anxious. Gods rarely even meet their children. That’s the way of the demigod world. But something about his father’s disappearance… the way that communications have been going terrible, how the prophecies haven’t been working… Will will admit, it’s not exactly a promising sign for his father’s well-being. Not to mention the fact that the other Olympians seem fine and dandy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will sighs. “There’s still no sign of him. But I don’t know. Maybe we’re all just a little paranoid. Maybe he’s… perfectly fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will doesn’t even need to be a child of Apollo to know that everything is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>perfectly fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shrugs. “If that’s what you want to think, I won’t stop you. I know you don’t want to hear what I was going to say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you going to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That this seems irregular.” Nico spreads his fingers placatingly. “But I know you already know that, so I didn’t say it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An exasperated sigh escapes Will’s lips and he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, tell me about it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you and your siblings talk about it much?” asks Nico. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will thinks over his question, considering how to answer. Since finding out something may be wrong when Rachel asked them about their dad, things got real awkward whenever Will or any of his siblings brought it up. At first, Kayla and Austin seemed plenty worried - they hadn’t ever met their father, and now they were learning that something was wrong? That wasn’t easy on them. Will was worried too, of course, but he didn’t want his siblings knowing that. As head counselor, it was his job to make sure that he was protecting them, and letting them know that their leader and oldest sibling was nervous would definitely have sent them into a panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So usually they try to avoid the subject all together. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that anxiety constantly keeps Will up at night, gnawing at his mind and giving him literal nightmares about all the possibilities that could happen or, even worse, could </span>
  <em>
    <span>be </span>
  </em>
  <span>happening. Did he die somehow? Is he someplace dangerous? Will he make it out of wherever he is? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or is Will just paranoid and maybe the prophetic issues Rachel’s been having are just for some other reason? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shrugs, his shoulders feeling suddenly too big for his sweatshirt. “We don’t really talk about him much. I think it’s better if I don’t bring it up in front of them.” He doesn’t mention the fact that the first time they found out things were getting suspicious with Apollo’s disappearance, Kayla and Austin both started crying. Just a few tears were shed, but Will didn’t want to risk seeing them like that again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will blinks. “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>about </span>
  </em>
  <span>me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he mutters. “I don’t think there’s much to really talk about. I’m just… nervous, is all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nods understandingly. “That’s fine. But I can’t help but to notice… This uncertainty about your father’s whereabouts has been going on for a few months, Will. Obviously I’m not saying you </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>to talk to me, or share your feelings at all, but as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t really seen you talk about how you’re feeling at all within those few months.” The son of Hades fixes Will with such an intense, concerned and </span>
  <em>
    <span>surprisingly </span>
  </em>
  <span>warm gaze that his insides feel hot and gooey, melting under the pressure of Nico’s kindness. “Sometimes talking about these things can help, you know. It doesn’t have to be with me, but… I’m just concerned for you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All coherent thoughts have completely evacuated Will’s mind, leaving him a complete, utter mess of emotions. Something about the fact that Nico really said he’s concerned for Will makes him feel… He doesn’t know how to feel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, Will’s had tons of people tell him that they care about him. His mom, his siblings, Cecil and Lou Ellen. But coming from Nico, this kid that Will’s been half in love with for two or three years, he’s not sure what to make of it. Plus, considering how reserved and quiet Nico is, having him say such nice things brings a considerable amount of joy and warmth to the son of Apollo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It shouldn’t be a big deal, but Will’s heart insists on making it one. It beats irregularly fast, and warmth spills over his face, searing his cheeks with the heat of humiliation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess…,” Will begins, still absolutely blooming at the fact that Nico said he’s concerned for him. “I mean, yeah. It sucks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nods. “I’m sure it does.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s shoulders rise up and back down into a defeated shrug. Weariness washes over him, as if he’s been running around the infirmary all day and he just wants a nap. He hasn’t really talked about his feelings about this topic, especially not with his friends. With Nico asking him so earnestly, though, he feels the weight of all that stress climbing up his back and arcing across his shoulders. He didn’t realize how antsy he’d been for so many weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just… When I came to camp, I had to leave my mom. I didn’t really want to, but she said it was what was best for me. Where I belonged. She said I couldn’t stay at home anymore, not because she didn’t love me but because she thought I needed a proper training that she couldn’t give me.” The sun sinks lower, peaking over the horizon and spilling over the camp in red-orange and golden waves. Will can’t help but to want the sky to stay light for just a little longer, to keep </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the light. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t want to be in the darkness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew I was going to come here,” he continues. “My mom wasn’t really quiet with the fact that I was a demigod. I just… didn’t expect it to happen so early.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you feel like she was abandoning you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cold, prickly tingle sparks against his skin just by that one question. Will sighs. “Yeah, I really did. I thought… I thought being a demigod was too much for her to handle. I think back then I always had this doubt that eventually she’d want to let go of me, make her career her biggest priority and make me second. I didn’t have a dad, obviously. It was just me and her. I was just scared she’d leave me, too.” Ice grates against Will’s heart at the memory of his mother, what she looked like when she left him here, how her fingers brushed his wet cheeks that afternoon so many years ago. “She promised she loved me each night, that I was her everything, but even then I think I doubted that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is she… okay now? Like, alive?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will smiles thinly. “Yeah, she is. She writes me letters. I go to her place for a bit each summer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes widen at that, surprised. “Really? If she’s still alive, how come you don’t live with her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will raises his eyebrow, suspicious of Nico. “Trying to get rid of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Nico rushes to say, his cheeks suddenly bursting with red. Will doesn’t miss how cute he looks when he’s blushing. “No, I’m just asking.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just kidding,” Will says, bumping his knee gently with Nico. If it were possible, Will’s sure that Nico’s turned an even meaner shade of red. “I don’t go to her place mostly because I’m scared of bringing monsters, to answer your question. That’s why she brought me - one, to get training. But also because as we get older, we get a stronger scent too, which I’m sure you know. I was attracting more monsters. I wasn’t properly trained. She just wants me to make sure that I have the training I need and that I’m safe.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you’ll be going back anytime soon? For more than just a few days or weeks in the summer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s fairly good at hiding emotions, but this time his voice cracks, breaking against his lips. His eyes convey some sense of urgency, and maybe a little hopelessness. Or maybe Will’s just trying to see what he wants to see. He grins. “Why? Gonna miss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you mister funny today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you think so. But I’ve been thinking about it. I think I still need more training though.” He opens his palms in front of him, peering curiously at the wrinkles and calluses over them. “I’m just… better as a healer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t trying to, but Will’s sure that he’s just given up one of his biggest insecurities: maybe he’s not a worthy demigod. He doesn’t do big things like others, like fight or use “important” powers. He’s just a healer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to go back. He doesn’t want to disappoint his mom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s quiet for a moment, also curiously watching Will’s hands. Then he does the unexpected: he reaches out and places his own fingers over Will’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will isn’t sure who’s more surprised, him or Nico. A bright red flush sweeps over his features, but he doesn’t remove his hand. The touch isn’t romantic or anything; he’s merely touching Will’s hand as if it were an old artifact, only to be handled in the utmost care and balance. And yet, Will’s body fires up with heat at just this feeling of having Nico’s cooler fingers over his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might just be a healer,” Nico whispers, casting his eyes to Will’s, “but healers are important. You shouldn’t be ashamed. Without a healer, this camp would be reduced to nothing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> important.” He tilts his head, scrutinizing Will. A smile blooms across his lips, and with it goes Will’s breath. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He looks so magnificent</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I’m sure your mother would be really proud of you, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Nico. That… means a lot.” And Will’s being meaningful; usually he doesn’t open up so much like this in the fear that he’ll come off as attention-seeking, and sometimes he’s trying to be strong for his own sake. With Nico, though, it’s like he’s a flower in the morning, blooming open his </span>
  <em>
    <span>own </span>
  </em>
  <span>petals for the world to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nods and slowly removes his fingers from Will’s. Though his touch could barely be considered warm, Will’s mourning its loss anyway. He wants to keep his fingers where it was, watch them cover his palm gently, contrast with his own skin. Will wants to tell him to keep it there, to maybe hold hands a little longer and a little tighter. However, Nico’s uneasy expression tells Will that it seems he’s expanded his energy for today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you get to camp?” Nico asks, tilting his head to the right. His chin juts out, sharp in the evening light, and Will can’t help but to get distracted by his unearthly beauty. The way every move he makes seems full of purpose and meaning, the way his hair sweeps across his eyes, how his eyebrows arch cutely when asking personal questions as if daring you to answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will hesitates a little, considering if it’s worth it to open up to Nico this much. He’s never said so much at once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, he makes his decision. He recalls the story.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Monsters kept coming to his house in Austin. It was almost every day, and Will’s mother tried protecting him each night. He was eleven at the time. Will knew it was because of him that they were coming after the two at all, and he felt incredibly guilty. Especially because around the time that the surplus of monsters started coming was when Naomi was supposed to go on another tour. He felt heartbroken and alone, guilty about having to force his mother to suspend the tour because of him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eventually, Naomi had to break the news to him: it was time to get to camp. Will cried against his mother for minutes, or maybe it was hours - he doesn’t even remember. When being told that your loved one wants to take you out of the house because you’re causing danger to the both of you, you can’t exactly feel too good. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So the two ventured up to the North. He was struck with how cold it was up there, especially since he’d come just during the fall-winter transition.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And yet, he didn’t let the cold stop him from cherishing each moment he had with his mother left. Even while risking their lives in going to a camp full of magic, his mother had a positive look on her face, and it was enough to almost convince Will his life wasn’t about to change forever. </span>
  </em>
  <span>We’re just going on a nice vacation together</span>
  <em>
    <span>, he told himself, even though he knew that wasn’t the case.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Monsters came at them left and right while they traveled up North, more often than Will was used to. He and his mother fended them off, but he didn’t miss the new dark circles under her eyes. Days of restlessness and anxiety and grief were getting to her, and suddenly she didn’t seem as radiant as the superstar Naomi Solace Will was used to seeing. Instead, she looked exhausted and burnt out. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>On top of his own worries, seeing his mother like that had Will feeling guilty each and every moment of the day. More than once did he consider leaving their temporary camps and go out on his own. But he was always stopped when his mother smiled at him sweetly, when she touched him gently, brought him in close.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So they went on fighting together, racing to the North.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eventually they arrived at camp. Will would like to say that the worst part was when a monster came after them, seemingly out of nowhere, but he’d be lying if he said that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, the worst part was watching his mother get hit. Will doesn’t remember what the monster looked like, or what kind it even was. All he remembers is the look of utter terror and surprise in his mother’s eyes, bright blue under the gray sky, as she was thrown out of the way and slammed into a tree.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was fine afterwards, when some campers heard what was happening and rushed down to help, but that was the moment Will knew he couldn’t be at home anymore. He put too much risk on her life. He didn’t want her getting hurt because of him being a demigod. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That was when he decided medicine was the kind of track he wanted to go on. Other demigods were better for battle, but after the days spent on the road, it seemed apparent to Will that he’d never be much of a forefront kind of fighter. Healing, though? That would be nice. He’d be making amends on the world. He’d be needed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When his mother was revived, he hugged her for a long, long time. He had to, because he didn’t know how long he’d go without seeing her. She promised that she’d come to visit him, and asked him to come down again every once in a while. “I just want you to get the training that I won’t be able to give you,” she whispered in his ear as she stroked his hair. “Trust me, Will, if I could help you more… I would.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Though the words were sweet and meaningful, Will couldn’t help but think about the fact that she was leaving him here because of him. She didn’t want to keep him around because he presented danger. What kind of mother would want a son that attracted monsters to her house so often? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will merely nodded and let go reluctantly. She planted a kiss on his head and placed her hand over his heart, just the way he was used to. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re my Sunshine Boy,” she said quietly, using her other hand to trace his face. “I love you. I’m going to miss you.” Pressing her forehead to his, she continued, “You brought so much brightness in my world, Will. Keep spreading that here.” A tear glistened on her cheek, and Will wanted so badly to brush it away from her face, hold on to her as long as he could. “Make me proud. I’ll see you in a few months, okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will nodded again, unable to speak. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She left him there, at the edge of camp, feeling hopeless and grieving for the loss of a mother who wouldn’t be back in a long time.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Will finishes telling this story, he feels weary and run down. He wants to lie down and sleep for a long time, even though it’s barely eight in the evening. Every time he talks about his mom, though, he thinks about that devastating day when she left him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shifts in his seat. Silence wraps around the boys, keeping them separate from the other people at camp. They’re in their own universe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” he says at last. “That was… intense.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will laughs softly, sarcastically, but says nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you… feel abandoned, Will?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does</span>
  </em>
  <span> he feel abandoned? Something inside him roils furiously, floating in the dark abyss of his being. Is it anger? Resentment? Guilt? “I guess… I guess I did.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t expect to feel so shocked by his own reply. But in truth, maybe he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>feel abandoned. He was angry at his mother, for leaving him here, for making him come here, for pursuing her career in Texas while she had a son who was miserable without her. She left him behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>These are feelings so repressed that Will feels like he’s been carved and hollowed out like  Jack-O-Lantern. Underneath that guilt and yearning for his mother, he was angry, angry for who knows how fucking long. The anger feels ancient, as if being dug up after being forgotten and coated with dust and dirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I’m just… scared,” he murmurs, more to himself than to Nico. “I know my mom meant well, but I guess some part of me just felt abandoned.” His chest feels expanded, filled with air, ready to burst at any moment. “And I guess it wasn’t just her, either. I mean… when Lee and Michael died, I thought… I just…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Will shouldn’t be even talking about those two. Their deaths still clog his memories, haunt his every moment. Every time he thinks about them, acid seems to spill onto his heart, choking his insides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When they died, I thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe there’s something more I could have done</span>
  </em>
  <span>. When they died, I had to become head counselor and it felt too… surreal. Too fast. It was like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You just lost two siblings so now it’s your responsibility to take care of everyone else.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Will’s throat aches from the pressure of holding back sudden tears. “It felt so unfair. I felt like they left me with nothing. Left me for no reason.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will risks a look at Nico, wondering if he’s managed to scare him off. Surprisingly, Nico’s still sitting next to him, listening intently. His eyebrows are turned down in concern, hanging onto all of Will’s words by a thread. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will sighs and shrugs dejectedly. “Maybe I’m scared about my dad being in danger because if I don’t have him… well, I guess without him, it feels like another person I love leaving me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever met Apollo before?” Nico asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Once or twice,” Will admits. “The first was… well, actually, it was when you came to camp.” He locks his eyes with Nico’s. In the growing darkness, it’s hard to discern, but he’s certain that Nico’s blushing. “Apollo didn’t come to our cabin right away, but I caught a glimpse of him. The second time was after the war, when Rachel was being ordained as the new oracle.” Will frowns. “Funny. It’s like each time I meet him, you’re always around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite the coincidence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heavy, awkward silence falls between the boys. Will wants to say something, but his chest aches under the pressure of keeping all these feelings repressed. It’s so strange that just with some simple questions, Nico somehow managed to get Will to tell him his entire life story. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or maybe I wanted to tell him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Will thinks, surprising himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico breaks through silence, his voice a hammer crashing through a thick wall. “I’m sorry you felt abandoned, Will. I can’t make any promises about what will happen, of course, but I just want you to know that it’ll probably turn out right in the end.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Probably</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” That wasn’t a very helpful note of advice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico shrugs. “I can’t promise anything. We’re demigods; we have to live on the side of caution.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will doesn’t respond, because he knows just as well as Nico does that he’s right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say,” Nico admits bashfully. He rubs the back of his neck. “But, if you need someone… well, just know you can talk to me. You don’t have to face this alone and feel like you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be alone.” Spreading his long fingers, he smiles. “You have your siblings too, Will. Don’t take them for advantage. Talk to them if you need to. I can assure you that talking can… can really help sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the way that Nico’s voice slows and lowers itself, as if whispering to himself. A light shade of pink breaks through the paleness of his skin. Will realizes that Nico is indirectly offering him a glimpse of himself, of this shy, reservedness of him. But this time, it’s like he’s admitting his defeat confidently. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t make the same mistakes as I did</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he seems to be saying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s not sure what it is, but a warmth seems to encompass the two. Funny, since it’s become freezing cold outside, but it’s there. Understanding seems to pull them together. Nico isn’t a sharer, but for once in a long time, Will feels the closest he’s ever been to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Nico says, his lips pulling out in a mocking grin, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sunshine Boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Mind if I start calling you that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will shakes his head. “If you do, I will never let you have any more lollipops at the infirmary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, the pain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t sound so hurt, Nico.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you say, Sunshine Boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will laughs. And it isn’t just a polite, “I want to be friends with you so I’ll laugh at your words just so it seems like I’m friendly” kind of laugh. It’s true, pure happiness, pouring out in its element, climbing out of Will’s chest out of some deep, dark, hidden abyss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Nico laughs a little, too. While it’s only a sample of him, it still seems genuine. Will feels like he’s slapped in the face when he hears how amazing Nico sounds laughing. Maybe it’s just because he’s heard campers talk about Nico </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>laughing and always being broody, but he didn’t know what he was expecting when he heard his laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t expect to feel like this with just a simple expression of amusement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s like flowers blooming from the ground, slow and steady and uncertain, delicate and fragile and easy to break with just a tug. But it makes the world an even more beautiful place. Will wants to play it on repeat forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can practically hear Kayla mocking him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What a simp</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will isn’t sure what prompts him, but he blurts it out anyway. “I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes widen, his dark irises absorbing the fading light in the sky. “Wait… </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>? You’re, like, fifteen.” He frowns. “I’m not sure if I’m completely up to date on everything in the twenty-first century, but isn’t that </span>
  <em>
    <span>illegal</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about Nico’s incredulousness makes Will feel even more cocky and rebellious. He grins despite himself. “You’re right, it is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then… how exactly are you going to get one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small, conniving smile spreads through Will’s lips. “Have you ever been to the Aphrodite cabin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico raises his eyebrows, mildly surprised. His mouth turns up into a slight smirk. “I’ll be honest, Will, I didn’t think you were the rebellious kind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s hardly rebellious. Even Chiron knows it exists.” He brushes his fingers against his curls. “It’s like… you know, when you’re a demigod, life can be really short for us. So, like, a tattoo doesn’t really change anything. No point in making it illegal or anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” Nico seems to be considering this new information, surprised. Will can practically see the gears turning in his head. Is he thinking of getting a tattoo now too?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The son of Hades’ eyes scrutinize Will, as if contesting how good enough Will is for such a commitment. Will curls into himself, nervous under his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking of getting?” Nico asks. “And where?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise you won’t laugh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyebrows jump up, an astonished grin appearing on his face. His eyes seem to dance with mirth. “No promises.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… as cheesy and typical it sounds, I was actually thinking of getting a sun tattoo.” Will watches Nico start laughing, the same flowery laugh he presented just moments ago, and he lightly smacks him on the shoulder. “No laughing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>sun</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” exclaims Nico. “I’m sorry, Will, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just ironic. Such a… child of Apollo thing.” His laughter eases out into small chuckles. “Such a… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Will </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The son of Apollo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. But it’s not actually because Apollo is my dad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico nods in understanding, sobering up. “It’s your mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Angry yearning grips Will’s chest, pushing him back to the past when he lived with his mom in their small house in Austin. He isn’t sure why Nico mentioning his mom makes him feel like this all of a sudden, but he wishes it would stop. “Yeah. She used to call me Sunshine Boy.” He shifts his gaze to his fingers, peering over his nailpolish. The light blue he had done just weeks ago seems to be fading. He’ll need to get some more. “I guess I’m just a sentimental person.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico’s silent for a moment. Then he asks, “Are you getting it on your chest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will’s surprised. “Yeah. How did you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said she always put her hand over your heart.” A rosy pink color comes into his cheeks, leading Will’s heart to skip a beat. He’s surprised Nico even remembered. “It makes sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will doesn’t say anything in response, only watches Nico. The son of Hades looks at his feet a little uncomfortably, his profile gleaming and bright in contrast to the looming darkness. Perhaps uneasy with Will’s silence, Nico adds, “It sounds really cool, Will. You should do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will smiles. “Thanks, Nico.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know…,” Nico begins, his gaze wavering from Will to the space between them, trying to avoid the son of Apollo’s eyes. He wants to speak up and say that whatever Nico has to say, he shouldn’t be nervous, but he resists from doing so. Instead, he waits patiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nico winces. “Maybe it’s stupid, actually…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Will exclaims. “No, what is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just… Well, I’ve been kind of getting into art these days. I think I’m pretty decent?” The uncertainty in Nico’s voice makes Will’s heart swell with absolute </span>
  <em>
    <span>yearning</span>
  </em>
  <span>. For so long, Will’s exalted Nico, watched him look regal and serious and confident in himself and his powers. He’d hold his head up high when it came to appearances. But right now, under the dark sky (which, by the way, were poked with stars now), hearing that self-consciousness in his voice seems to make him more… human. He’s just another demigod, a regular person. He isn’t some celestial being that’s too good for Will, unable for him to ever reach. Will can still circle around his orbit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he’s even more in love with him for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will nods his head, swallowing down his sudden admiration for Nico.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess… I mean, you don’t have to agree or anything, but… if you want some designs, maybe I could… draw you some?” With the absolute insecurity dripping in his voice, Will can’t help but to smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s a great idea!” Will exclaims. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Nico’s entire demeanor fades, replaced by something Will’s so unused to seeing in him that he almost doesn’t recognize the son of Hades. There’s some kind of excitement in his eyes, his face animated in humble enthusiasm over just the prospect of drawing Will’s tattoo for him. Will’s glad he can make him feel like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! I didn’t know you were into art, Nico.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The raven-haired boy blushes. “I’ve only recently gotten into it. I’m having fun, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will will admit, if Nico’s only </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>started it, how good will his drawings be? What if the design isn’t what Will wants? What if he’ll have to politely decline Nico? Would that hurt his feelings?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>did he just make this promise?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s really cool, though.” Will turns his head in the direction of the cabins, watching the silhouettes of kids stamp around. He turns back to Nico. “We still have a little bit until dinner. If you don’t mind… would you show me any art projects you’ve made? Only if you want to, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A polite, surprised smile takes over Nico. “Right, yeah. Guess you couldn’t really consider my idea of a sun for your tattoo before actually seeing what I’ve worked on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Will stands, smiling down at the son of Hades. “Then what are we waiting for? I’m excited.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s only after the two make their way out of the amphitheater does Will realize they never even put down the Halloween decorations.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sup bitches its time for the Angsty Painting Scene TM i hope y'all are prepared</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ngl im kinda proud of this one but i should probably make my chapters shorter lmao</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico’s cabin is as dark as ever, with the windows drawn and the entire room covered in black. Black drapes, black bed sheets, black furniture. But it doesn’t necessarily look <em> bad… </em> it actually looks cool. Modern. Interesting. </p><p>A large king-sized bed sits to the left side, black nightstands standing on either side with lamps on their tops. The comforter and blankets are black (what else is new?) but the pillows are gray, as is the bedsheet underneath the comforter. Surprisingly, Nico’s bed is actually made. Will isn’t sure why he finds this so surprising, but he does. A soft, black rug spreads at the foot of the bed and a dark beanbag chair sits to the right corner of the bed. </p><p>To the wall opposite the bed, shelves stand from floor to ceiling, filled to the brim with knick knacks, books, notebooks, artifacts, and more. Another smaller bed sits still in the corner between a bookshelf and the wall. Will assumes that’s saved for Nico’s sister, Hazel. A gray loveseat stands confidently at the foot of the bed.</p><p>To the back wall, there’s a desk with a small lamp and a surprisingly blank looking wall. Will wonders why he left that so blank, if he’s planning on doing something to it. </p><p>A very small corridor sticks out to the right, where two doors line the wall. Will assumes the one with the sliding door is the closet and the one to the left of that is the bathroom. </p><p>In the fading light, Nico grimaces. “Sorry,” he murmurs, rushing to his bedside. “It’s kind of dark in here. I forgot to turn the lights on.”</p><p>As soon as he turns it on, Will realizes that actually, the back wall <em> isn’t </em> blank <em> . </em>Some small drawings line the bottom of it, standing out against the dark background, in all kinds of pastel colors. Nico says something, but Will barely hears him as he steps towards the doodles. </p><p>Upon closer inspection, Will realizes they’re designs. He’s not sure what they’re for, but they’re quite pretty. White and pink flowers bloom from the bottom corners of the wall, and green leaves line the bottom. They swirl around the flowers in a way that isn’t necessarily realistic, but even then Will can’t help but to be amazed by how innocent and shy they look, timidly blooming out for the world to see. </p><p>Nico’s voice pops into his ears again, and he turns to the son of Hades, seeing him in a new light. Who knew he had this talent?</p><p>“Sorry,” Will says, unable to hide the amazement in his voice, “could you repeat that again?”</p><p>“I was just asking if you wanted to sit.” Nico looks anywhere but at Will, as if he’s embarrassed he’s even in the cabin. Will should feel offended at this, but his astonishment diminishes any other feeling. </p><p>Will takes Nico up on his offer. He balances himself carefully at the very edge of the bed, nervous that even one move will break the absolute stillness of the room. Nico moves towards his bookshelf, searching for something. </p><p>“You’ve redecorated a lot,” Will notes, still gazing around in wonder. “I remember when you were here after the Battle of Manhattan this looked like a vampire’s den.”</p><p>Nico scoffs. “Gods, don’t remind me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”</p><p>Will grins, even though Nico can’t see it. “It’s okay, we all have our vampire obsessions at one point.”</p><p>Nico’s silent for a moment as he searches through his shelf. Eventually he pulls out a spiral-ringed sketchbook with a familiar shade of orange and a large CHB logo. He twists around and offers a timid smile, holding the thin sketchbook out as he steps towards Will. </p><p>“Here’s just a few sketches I’ve made,” he says, handing it over to Will. The son of Apollo takes it gingerly, afraid that even with one touch he’ll shatter it. Nico shrugs. “I don’t know, they’re just some… things, I guess.”</p><p>Will raises his eyebrows at Nico but says nothing. Time seems to slow down for him, the air completely still. Only he and Nico exist right now, nothing else. Opening this sketchbook feels like Nico’s practically giving him his diary. Never has there been a moment between the two where Nico opened up to him more than now. </p><p>Will’s not sure if he wants to wait for this moment to come again later. It feels like there’s so much on the line. Nico watches him closely, and eyebrows raised daringly as if saying, <em> I’m trusting you with something I’ve never shared with anyone. With one move, you could ruin everything. </em></p><p>Will doubts everything will be ruined, but even then, he can’t help but to feel like there’s a lot on the line in these next few seconds.</p><p>Will slowly, uncertainly flips open the lid, feeling it flap against his fingers. He faces the first sketch and… </p><p>It’s nothing like anything he’s seen before. It’s a pencil sketch of a human, though he can’t tell the gender. The features of the face are sharp and dramatic, contoured in a manner that is so realistic Will almost wonders if it’s a photograph with the black-and-white filter on it. The mouth seems to be smiling widely, baring teeth, but not in a way that indicates happiness. No, this seems… manic, almost. The nose stands out, wrinkling in a way that indicates laughter. Ears pop out on either side of the head. </p><p>But the most significant part of the entire sketch is the eyes. Or, rather, the <em> lack </em>of them. They seem to be scratched out with a large scribble. It’s chaotic, like an empty cloud, a void, complete nothingness. </p><p>Will feels emotions so strong that he almost loses his breath. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but he knows he’s feeling <em> something </em> because of this sketch. He feels void, empty, completely nothing, just like the face in this sketch. He feels like the world is completely falling apart around him, like an earthquake is happening in his chest and he can do nothing to stop it. </p><p>He feels hopeless. </p><p>Will gazes at Nico, his eyes wide in amazement. He opens his smouth to speak, but what the fuck is he supposed to say? <em> This is really good </em>? No, actually, he’d like to ask if Nico’s okay, because this is no artistic choice. </p><p>This is a story. This is a piece of Nico. </p><p>“Nico…,” he manages. “This is…” </p><p>He can’t even find a way to finish the sentence. Nico watches him curiously, nervously, waiting for Will’s verdict. </p><p>“Intense,” he finally says. It’s absolutely intense. How else is he supposed to describe it?</p><p>Nico steps back a little, a small, insecure frown shaping his mouth. “Intense… how?”</p><p>“A good intense!” Will rushes to explain. “Not bad. It’s just like… There’s so much <em> feeling </em>conveyed in it, Nico. It’s like… absolutely beautiful.”</p><p>This seems to ease Nico because his shoulders relax and his frown turns back into a small smile. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Can I… look through more?”</p><p>The gears in Nico’s head seem to be turning on full speed, considering how much of a good idea that is. The air stills, suffocating Will. Nico’s decision seems like one of the most important decisions Will’s been waiting for. </p><p>With a small tip of his chin, Nico whispers, “Go ahead.” Just before Will turns the page, though, Nico places his fingers gently over the page, his rings staring up at Will intimidatingly like warning signs. Will tilts his head towards him, his eyes meeting Nico’s. There’s a hesitance there, a little distrust, as if he’s not sure how the son of Apollo will react. “Just… these are… really important to me,” he murmurs. “I…” </p><p>Nico trails off, but Will doesn’t need him to finish. He nods understandingly. He’s not sure what Nico was going to say, but he understands. Will has only seen one sketch thus far, but he gets the general gist of Nico’s words: <em> This is like my diary. It contains my biggest secrets. </em></p><p><em> I am showing some of the most terrifying parts of me </em> . <em> I am </em> trusting <em> you </em> . Nico’s eyebrows are raised, his mouth set in a firm line. <em> How much do you trust </em>me? he seems to be asking silently. </p><p>Will flips the page while keeping his eyes locked with Nico’s. <em> I trust you a lot </em> . <em> And you can trust me, too </em>. </p><p>Each image he looks through is more haunting, more gruesome, more dark. More beautiful than the last. </p><p>And with each image, a sense of dread settles deeper into Will’s chest. He’s never experienced the scenes that these images depict, and yet they’re drawn with so much detail and emotion Will feels like he’s living through each of these moments. </p><p>One sketch is of a kid, once again unable to decipher the gender (<em> Does that mean something? </em> Will wonders), sitting dejectedly in the corner with their head in their arms. Large, capitalized words stand out, screaming, crying, yelling at him. “ <b> <em>DISGUSTING. REVOLTING. SHAMEFUL</em> </b>,” they say.</p><p>Will doesn’t even need to ask to know that this is about Nico’s repressed feelings for Percy. But while it’s Nico’s feelings and his story, there’s an uncomfortable yet familiar pang in Will’s chest as he views the sketch. He knows the feeling; he’s lived through that. Hatred oozes out of the image, spilling over Will.</p><p>The son of Apollo swallows and turns to the next page, if only to get away from the pain it causes him.</p><p>Some of the images Will knows are about Bianca. They seem like memories captured in sketches of Nico with his sister. Some drawings are with an older woman too, probably his mother. </p><p>And then there are the worst ones in there. Images of a dark, shadowed, terrifying place. Without even asking, Will knows that if the images were colored, he would have absolute nightmares about these pictures. Monsters crawl at the edges of the pictures, drawn in angrily, anxiously, screaming to be noticed. A demigod stands in the middle of it all, their sword brandished, their face determined. But their eyes are missing, just like in the original photo, replaced with the same dark, angry, cloud of nothing.</p><p>There’s a vaguely humanoid figure behind the demigod, except <em> much </em>taller. Without a doubt, Will knows this is something Nico has faced, but who could that giant be behind the demigod?</p><p>When he sees this image, Will can’t help but to display his fear. He looks up at Nico, who watches the son of Apollo, his gaze steady and serious. Only the shaking of his fists indicate to Will that he’s nervous. For the first time, he notices a deep set exhaustion in Nico. The dark circles that used to permanently be a part of him are gone, but there’s something broken in him. His eyes are sunken, dark, shattered. How has Will never noticed this before? </p><p>Or what if Nico’s only now showing it to him?</p><p>“Nico…,” he murmurs. Nico holds his chin high, looking down on Will, daring him to continue his sentence. Will turns back to the sketch, then back to Nico. “Is this… What <em> is </em>this place, Nico? In the picture?”</p><p>Something in Will already knows where it is. He’s never been there, but the absolute terror he feels from it is enough to tell him. And yet, he needs to hear Nico say it to believe it. Nico’s chest puffs out as he takes a deep breath, as if gearing up for a marathon. “It’s… Tartarus.” </p><p>Will almost drops the sketchbook in utter shock, despite the fact he was expecting that answer. <em> Tartarus </em> ? Nico has been to fucking <em> Tartarus </em>?</p><p>“Oh my gods…” Just looking at the pictures makes Will’s chest tighten with pure anxiety, his stomach tying itself into knots. How could Nico have made it out of those terrors alive? Will opens his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. </p><p>So Nico seizes the chance to say something. Anxiously, he steps closer to Will, ready to tell him some kind of secret. “I don’t… I don’t want your pity, okay? I just… I showed you these because…” He grits his teeth and looks away, his eyes betraying utter confusion. It’s almost like even he’s not sure why he showed Will these.</p><p>Will places his hand out towards the son of Hades in a calm gesture. “Because why?” </p><p>Nico opens his mouth, but Will’s speechlessness seems to be contagious, because nothing comes out. Instead, he just sighs and scrubs his face and sits next to Will, not removing his hands from his head. “I don’t… know. I guess maybe… besides Jason and Reyna and Hazel, you’re, like, my first friend, Will. I just… I needed you to know.” He looks up again, meeting his gaze. The son of Apollo is surprised to find pure vulnerability in them. For as long as he’s known Nico, he’s only ever seen contempt and darkness in them. Now, though, he seems naked to Will’s eyes, shed from all his outer layers. When Nico speaks again, his voice sounds desperate, begging for Will to understand: “I want you to know who I am. Part of me, at least. Just so… so you know what you’re walking into.” </p><p>Will’s lips tremble. Sadness roils inside him, humiliation, too. How could Nico ever think he’d let him go so easily, just because he’s seen terrors so unimaginable?</p><p>“I don’t trust easily,” Nico admits, picking at the hem of his sweatshirt. “I trust only a few people. But you’ve shown me a lot of kindness, Will. I think… I think I trust you. I…” He stops, his voice seemingly stolen. Nico turns his head back to Will, gaze glued to his blue eyes. He holds the gaze, making a connection so strong Will’s not sure he could move if he wanted to. “I want to be your friend. I don’t usually admit that out to people openly.” A coat of pink blooms across his nose and cheeks. “You’re just… really kind. You’re worth it.” </p><p> Will feels like an unstable bomb, ready to explode at any moment. He’s ticking, ticking, ticking, about to blow up and demolish everything in his path. There’s a strange buzzing in his ears, a hum of absolute excitement and anxiety. His heart thrums on overtime, thumping so loud he wonders if Nico can hear it. </p><p>Hearing him say those words, hot, searing joy and excitement seem to flow all through the inside of Will, flooding each crevice of his body. He’s a rocket, about to shoot up into the sky and reach the stars, gearing up all his energy. </p><p>It’s at this very moment that Will is reminded of his utmost admiration for Nico, his undying love. He wants nothing more than to be around Nico at all times, hear him talk about his day, his burdens, his insecurities and his strengths. Will wants to be a planet in his orbit, always circling around him, always there for him when he needs him to be. </p><p>Will is so overflowed with pure joy and overwhelming emotions that tears spring into his eyes. He’s been known to be emotional, but even this is a new territory to him. “We <em> are </em>friends,” he promises, his voice low. “Did you… not think that?”</p><p>Nico shrugs. “No, it’s just that… Well, I knew we were friends. It’s like… I just want to be… I trust you more than the normal definition of friends. I just…” </p><p>Nico trails off again, but Will believes he understands. It’s a new level of friendship that he wants, this ability to be close to Will and be unafraid of asking, prying, learning about him.</p><p>A tear slips out of Will’s eye, though he doesn’t intend it to. Nico’s eyebrows jump in alarm. “Are you crying?” His eyebrows turn down into a frown. “I’m sorry, if it’s something I said-”</p><p>“No!” Will cries. “No, it’s just… This was a very wholesome moment.” He spreads his arms. “I know you don’t like hugs, but…?”</p><p>While Will phrases it like a question, what he’s really asking is if Nico will dare to come in for a hug. It’s his turn to ask, <em> Do you trust me </em> ? <em> Show me you want to commit to this friendship </em>.</p><p>And it seems like Nico does, because hesitantly, slowly, he leans in. He circles his arms around Will’s back. They’re gentle, jumpy, ready to jerk away from Will any moment at any indication he wants to stop, but Will doesn’t mind. If he can get Nico to hug him, that already says a lot. It’s a promise that Nico will stay.</p><p>When Nico lets go just mere seconds later, Will deflates. He knows he can’t force Nico to hold him longer, but he’s yearning for his arms to be around him again. <em> Well </em> , he thinks, <em> at least we actually </em>hugged.</p><p>Nico’s mouth is set in a firm line, a little turned at the corners so that it seems like he’s slightly frowning. His eyebrows furrow together and he won’t meet Will’s eyes, which makes Will feel even more like a deflated balloon. Was that hug weird? Should they not have done that?</p><p>There’s a quiet, cold tension between them. Will’s not sure where it came from, considering how nice Nico was being just moments before, but he sure as hell does not welcome it. He clears his throat. “So, wait… you said you only <em> just </em>started art. Why are these so good?”</p><p>Nico looks at him, his eyes shining with something. Is it relief? “Well, I mean… Okay, I guess I sort of lied. When I came here with Bianca” - Will doesn’t miss the slight crack in his voice as he says her name - “I took a lot of time with the arts and crafts. And I don’t know if you remember but I spent a lot of time there when I came to stay after the Battle of Manhattan.” But Nico shakes his head as if that’s unimportant. “Besides that, well… Some of these scenes are things I see in my dreams.” The son of Hades stares ahead in the direction of the bookshelves, but his eyes seem far away, not quite here, a place where Will can’t reach him. “You saw them. Some of those scenes are scary. They just… Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and they’re still ingrained in my mind.” He shrugs listlessly, hopelessly, as if he’s tried to stop dreaming about them but he just can’t. “Sometimes it just helps when I draw it out.”</p><p>Will watches Nico, sees the way the golden light from his lamp pans across his face, illuminating his sharp features. His eyes shine, glazed over with what Will assumes are tears that he won’t let fall. They seem… broken, too, like there are things he’s seen that no amount of healing could ever fix.</p><p>He’s broken. </p><p>But that doesn’t mean he can’t still be put back together. He’ll still have the cracks, but with a little help Will knows he can find balance in himself again.</p><p>“I don’t want to tell you what to do,” Will murmurs gently, his voice barely audible, “but you know, it seems like… like you need help.” He edges his fingers closer to Nico’s, not quite touching but close enough to let him know he’s there. “I love your art, but you don’t have to try to ‘fix’ yourself alone. There are resources here for you. And, you know, Mr. D, who would probably be the most helpful of them all.” </p><p>Will’s nervous as he says all this, anxious that Nico will take it in the wrong way. But he only looks at him, a small smile at the corner of his mouth. “Mr. D? I know he’s the god of madness and all, but doesn’t he hate just about everyone?” His small smile turns cocky. “Well, except me. He seemed to like me when I came here.”</p><p>“Believe it or not, he’s there for anyone who absolutely needs his help. He’s the god of madness, like you said. He may not like us, but he knows the terrors we see as demigods. He won’t leave us out to deal with that stuff alone.” Will knows he sounds like he’s defending the asshole of a god, but he feels like he owes it to Mr. D, and to Nico.</p><p>Nico raises a brow, intrigued but not surprised. “It seems like you’ve had experience.”</p><p>Will shrugs. “You know, it’s just… the wars we’ve seen. That shit kind of… fucked me up for a while.” </p><p>“Does it still?”</p><p>Now it’s Will’s turn to turn away, stare out into space. If he tells Nico the truth, will that seem like he’s just trying to bring attention onto himself? After all, they <em> were </em> talking about Nico; he doesn’t want him to think that he’s trying to undermine his experiences. He doesn’t want Nico to think that he only wants to talk about himself. <em> Wait </em> , Will thinks with a jolt, <em> have I been talking too much about myself already? What if he already thinks I’m self-obsessed? What if he thinks I only want attention? Maybe I’m a bad friend. Maybe- </em></p><p>“Will?” Nico calls, but Will barely hears him. His thoughts still race in his head, roar in his ears. “You can tell me, you know. I won’t judge.”</p><p>Will turns to face Nico, his cheeks burning. He already said too much. “I don’t want to talk about it.” </p><p>That seems to quiet Nico. He nods in understanding, but Will doesn’t miss the way his eyebrows arch in concern. <em> Good job, Will </em> , he chides himself. <em> Now he thinks you’re avoiding the subject for attention, too </em>. </p><p>Nico clears his throat. “Well, anyway. I’m kind of wondering… the next time you go to your mom, you think she’ll… <em> mind </em>you getting a tattoo? I mean, if I were a parent that would probably give me a heart attack.” </p><p>Will smiles, though his heart doesn’t feel it. “It’s not like I’m gonna show her. And besides, if she somehow finds out, I can just give her the excuse of being a demigod. She’ll let me go.” </p><p>Nico smiles at that. “Okay, <em> Momma’s boy </em>.” </p><p>Will laughs and touches the sketchpad, his fingers straying over a new image. This one isn’t so dark or mysterious; no, this time it’s a little more… <em> hopeful. </em>A demigod stands to the left side of the page, tears lacing their cheeks in white trails. But their eyes are wide, a light flashing in them. Their head is turned to the right, staring at a door that’s creaking wide open. A bright glow seems to burst through that corner of the page, filling the page with a bright yellow light. This is the only sketch that Will notices has true color in it.</p><p>“Wow,” Will murmurs, gently grazing his fingers of the image, feeling the texture of the pencil. <em> Nico drew this, and I can feel each curve, each indent, each step of the process </em>. Will might just combust. </p><p>He turns to Nico, his mouth set in a serious line. “Have you ever talked to Rachel about this? I’m sure she would be absolutely amazed. She’s an art person, right?”</p><p>Nico shrugs and hangs his head, picking at his fingers. Black wisps of hair fall in front of his face, covering his eyes and hanging past his cheeks. Will has to fight the really really really strong urge to push them away and see his beautiful dark eyes again.</p><p>“I was thinking of asking her for some advice or something the next time she comes by,” he admits. “But… I don’t know, I don’t want her to be nervous or anything.” He shrugs again. “I think I’ll just ask for advice on techniques and things. But I would like to have her see them.” He reaches out and pats the sketchbook. “These could use some work.”</p><p>Will highly doubts that, but he doesn’t argue. </p><p>Nico holds his hands out, and it takes a moment for Will to realize he’s asking for the sketchbook back. The son of Apollo is almost willing to fight Nico to get it back because now that he’s been revealed to something so precious and raw about Nico, how the fuck is he supposed to just give it back?</p><p>Reluctantly, Will hands it over to the son of Hades. His hands feel colder now, empty. He feels empty. </p><p>Nico smiles then, and suddenly Will’s filled with surplus joy. “Well, we better get this design started before dinner.” </p><p>Will’s eyebrows jump so high he’s almost convinced they’ve gone past his hair. He completely forgot about the design, he was so interested in just the art. After seeing what Nico’s capable of, though, there isn’t any way that he would let anyone else design it for him. Nico stands to grab a few sketching pencils from his desk and returns, his eyebrows set in a frown as he sets himself down again. “Wait, will your mom care if you get a tattoo?”</p><p>Will runs his fingers through his hair and grins, his eyebrows jumping. “Maybe I’m a bad boy.”</p><p>Nico’s eyes widen incredulously, as if that’s the most ridiculous idea he’s ever heard. He looks over Will, watching from his golden hair to his feet, then shakes his head. “Don’t lie to yourself.”</p><p>“That is <em> so </em>mean.” </p><p>“Is she gonna mind? Because I really don’t want to be responsible for getting her son in trouble.” </p><p>Will shrugs, a wide smile painted across his mouth. “If she never sees it, she’ll never know, right?”</p><p>Nico looks to his sketchbook, his hand over the page in anticipation. He shrugs. “Well, I can’t argue with that. Were you thinking of getting it colored or just black?”</p><p>In all honesty, Will hasn’t been sure. Some part of him wants to get it colored, but on the other hand having a sick black tattoo would make him feel like an edgy cool kid. Who doesn’t want to be an edgy cool kid? Besides, the color might look weird.</p><p>“What do you say?” he asks. “Black or colored?”</p><p>Nico smiles thinly. “Well, black is part of my aesthetic, so I’m pretty biased here.” He tilts his head at Will, his eyes roaming over his features. A burst of warmth fills his cheeks, spreading through his body. He’d be almost convinced Nico was checking him out if he didn’t look like he was just trying to figure out how to slice him like a lab rat.</p><p>“My diagnosis is that black would look better. It’ll contrast with your skin tone and be more apparent.” He shrugs. “But that’s up to you, obviously.”</p><p>“You’re the artist here. Black it is.”</p><p>So Nico begins drawing, his left hand lightly sketching lines across the page. He asks Will frequent questions, like how he wants the design and how big, but Will’s too mesmerized watching Nico draw to even acknowledge the questions. He peers over his shoulder, just barely touching him. He can’t help it; watching Nico draw makes him feel soft all over. Maybe it’s in the way that his shoulders are hunched together, his tongue sticking out as he’s hard at work, his delicate strokes against the page. </p><p>Not to mention, he smells good, too. He smells like the earth, sweet and strong and heavy. The scent of rain in the air. </p><p>He looks truly relaxed. He looks like he’s in his element. He’s so beautiful. </p><p>And Nico’s art itself? That’s even more gorgeous. Watching him actually sketch out the design feels like one of those satisfying videos he’d see on YouTube. Nico makes sweeping lines, curving over in gray strokes of the pencil, leaving trails across the light page. He swirls when Will asks him to. He curls, dips, shades with just the free will of his hand, creating an image out of seemingly nothing. </p><p>Will watches the image transform from just gray strokes into the outline of a sun - it’s not shaded black, yet, but it has all the curves and swirls and sharp points he wants. Nico’s thumbs are shaded with dark remnants of his pencil, but he wipes them off on his pants. He pulls the image away from him, furrowing his brows as he scrutinizes it, and then shrugs deflated, as if he’s not quite happy with what he made. Will doesn’t miss the defeaten expression on his face and he almost wants to scream that it looks so good. </p><p>Nico hands him the sketch, biting his bottom lip nervously. Will’s already watched him in the progress, but holding the sketchpad in his hands feels even more grand. He’s holding Nico’s gorgeous creation. </p><p>“It’s almost dinner time,” Nico murmurs. “It’s not that great, but I promise I’ll finish it later.” </p><p>Will traces the curves and swirls of the dramatically beautiful design, stroking his thumb over the darkened places. He gapes at Nico. “‘Not that great’? Nico! This is absolutely gorgeous. I can’t do things like this.” He nudges Nico’s shoulder with his own. “Have a little faith in yourself.” </p><p>Nico smiles shakily, as if he doesn’t quite believe him, but he nods anyway. “It’ll get better,” he murmurs, almost like a promise to himself. </p><p>Will hands Nico the sketch again, closing the book. “I’m sure it will, but still. It looks wonderful. I can’t believe you drew that well in just one sitting.” He stands, holding his hand out. “But we’ll go to dinner now. You can work on it later.” </p><p>Nico takes one last look at his sketchbook, his eyes drawn together in concern. Then, taking a breath, he nods. “Later,” he murmurs. A promise. He will work on it later. </p><p>He throws the sketchbook to the far side of his bed, stands, and follows Will to dinner.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>will gets to show nico his tattoo and then they have a super cute Moment TM</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>alskjflsjdjlsfdkj one more chapter left to go hope you like this!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finishing the design takes a little longer than Will thought it would. He had to wait until the end of November to actually get to see it. </p><p>When Nico <em> did </em>finish it, though, Will could not believe his eyes. It was a small design, the perfect size to fit on his chest, but just the sheer simple beauty of it was breath-taking. It may have only been black, but it sure was a marvel to look at. Curves and waves signified the flames of the sun, curving this way and that, branching out in beautiful arcs. Will stared at it for literally ten minutes, wondering how something so simple could look so absolutely gorgeous. </p><p>Nico was flustered, mumbling about how he couldn’t really figure out how to make it better, but Will wouldn’t have any of it. After seeing the design, he assured Nico that he was glad he assigned him to the job in the first place.</p><p>Now, in the first week of December, Will’s practically buzzing. He didn’t tell Nico when he’d be getting the tattoo (despite all the son of Hades’ pestering), but he’s ready to come out and tell him he got it just a few days ago. </p><p>It’s a sunny - albeit chilly - afternoon at Camp Half-Blood, the light now fading away much quicker. It’s almost four, which means evening is already rolling over the sky, painting the sky in its rich dark blue. Christmas isn’t exactly a big deal at camp, but Will doesn’t miss the excitement in the air. The holidays are approaching, and with it, so is the nervous energy amongst the campers. Everyone has been rushing around, whispering in each other’s ears about what they’re thinking of getting for their friends. </p><p>Will already knows what he’s going to get for his loved ones. He left camp (with Chiron’s permission, of course) with friends just the past weekend to get his presents. They’re safely hidden somewhere in camp, a place where no one can reach them. He knows how nosy Kayla is about presents; there is no way he’s going to let her ruin this for him. </p><p>Across the camp, edging towards the sword arena, Will notices the ever-familiar raven-haired, his chin held high and his dark sword by his side. Will’s breath hitches as he realizes Nico’s wearing a really <em> fucking </em>adorable black sweater over a white collared shirt and his signature dark jeans. Will really was not aware Nico had such variety in his style, but he sure does know how to shock people. Will isn’t sure if he notices it, but lots of people turn to stare at him, watching him walk around in new clothes.</p><p>He isn’t even sure how Nico does it. Everywhere he goes, he seems to hold a look of purpose, like he can’t be bothered right now. Even now, as he saunters towards the arena, a determined look lighting his eyes, chin held high, sword dangling from his palm. Each step he takes, the earth seems to make room for him. </p><p>The sky overhead is gray, with the promise of snow electrifying the camp, and yet Will swears Nico’s the brightest person here right now. His skin glows beautifully somehow with the lack of light, his lashes fluttering as he blinks. His lips stand out like roses, with pink cheeks and nose to match. </p><p>It’s been weeks since Will’s confirmed he likes Nico, but he’s still astonished as to how hard he’s feeling this way. He doesn’t remember feeling like this with past partners, or even liking Nico this hard the last time he was at camp. It’s the way he just seems to grasp his attention, skew his thoughts with just a smile. </p><p>Will is hopeless and he knows it. </p><p>Some part of him wants to believe Nico likes him, too, but he sincerely doubts it. Nico has made it clear time and time again that he’s really only interested in taking time to himself, and Will has to respect that. </p><p>He just wishes feelings were easier to deal with these days. Especially feelings surrounding Nico. </p><p>Will pushes the emotions away, shoving them so far down he can practically feel the ache of them in his chest. He waits a second, two seconds, getting his breath steady so it doesn’t shake anymore, then calls Nico’s name. The son of Hades turns his head at the mention of his name. He looks around, in search for the mysterious name caller, then lands his eyes on Will. A coat of red blooms across his face, as if surprised he’s even here, but a small smile edges his lips dazedly. </p><p>Will catches up to him, a sudden burst of anxiety exploding in his system. He’d been hoping to pull Nico away to show him the tattoo, but now that he’s about to ask him to come over, he’s having doubts. What if Nico’s too flustered to see it? Will he even <em> want </em>to? Does anyone like seeing their own art on someone else’s body? </p><p><em> Too late </em> , Will thinks as he edges closer to Nico. His mouth feels dry all of a sudden, his throat closing up. <em> This was such a stupid idea </em>. </p><p>“Hey, Will,” Nico greets, his eyes roving over to the arena and back at him. Will feels a pang of guilt now, regretting even coming to Nico. He was probably just looking forward to practicing some sword stuff, and Will was about to pull him away. Nico raises a brow. “What’s up?”</p><p>What should Will say now? If he says he just wanted to say hi, he’d get a strange look for sure. But what if Nico doesn’t even want to see the tattoo? </p><p>What if he <em> does </em>, though? </p><p>“Nothing much,” Will answers, his voice cracking with embarrassment. “I just wanted to ask… Do you want to… see the tattoo, maybe?”</p><p>Nico doesn’t answer with words; instead, his jaw drops. He seems to stare at Will for what feels like hours, his mouth in the shape of an O, his eyes shining with astonishment. Will shifts uncomfortably on his feet, nervousness gripping his skin. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask him.</p><p>“You mean… You… I… You have the tattoo?” Nico stammers, his hands fidgeting at his side and his sword tangling in his fingers. “<em> My </em> tattoo? The one I drew?”</p><p>An anxious giggle flows through Will. “Well, yeah, that’s what the sun was for, right?” But now doubt creeps up on him, chewing at his organs. Will assumed Nico was alright with putting his design as the tattoo, because that’s literally what he asked to do. Was he uncomfortable? Was this a mistake? </p><p>“Yeah,” Nico agrees. “It’s just… I guess some part of me thought it wasn’t gonna happen. Like you were just playing a bluff.” A dazed, surprised laugh drips from his mouth, and a surprised grin edges his lips. His skin stands pale and beautiful in the gray, and suddenly Will feels like he’s looking at a literal angel. “You actually put <em> my </em> tattoo on your body?”</p><p>“It was really nice,” Will mumbles, feeling awkward now. “I really liked the design.”</p><p>“I’m…,” Nico murmurs, but his voice trails off. He shakes his head as if he can’t even imagine speaking anymore. “I don’t know what to say. I’m kind of honored, to be honest.” </p><p>Will smiles unsurely, not knowing what to say next. He’s too caught up in how pretty his face looks, so animated and surprised. There’s a rare look of absolute happiness in him, and Will can’t help but to want to take a picture of this moment.</p><p>He looks so pretty when he’s smiling. </p><p>Nico scratches the back of his neck now, his winter blush suddenly much brighter. “Can I… see it?”</p><p>Will’s smile turns into a grin. “Yeah. But… the only thing is I have to take my shirt off.” Now a bright red blush takes over him, too. “So, like, if you’re uncomfortable with that…”</p><p>If it were possible, Nico’s face turns even redder, but this time his lips are pursed. He hesitates for a minute, then says quietly, “Okay. Only if you’re comfortable.”</p><p>Five minutes later, Will and Nico find themselves in the Apollo cabin. The cloud has parted ways to let some sun spill in, and it filters through the window, making a puddle of light on the floor. No one else is in the cabin, which Will is glad for. He closes the door behind them, fingers tingling as he locks the door. </p><p>He turns to Nico, who looks everywhere but at him. His eyes stray over the furniture of the Apollo cabin, gazing at the decor and ceiling, the new flowers by the windows. Each year a few more campers take up the beds, and he gazes at the newly decorated living spaces. He does a full three-sixty before turning back to Will. </p><p>“I like the way you guys redecorated it,” Nico acknowledges. “Very… Apollo-esque.” </p><p>“Glad to see that Mr. Vampire himself approves of my taste.” </p><p>Nico rolls his eyes and groans. “How many times have I told you that I was, like, thirteen when I decorated it?” </p><p>“You’re only fourteen now,” Will teases. “Not much difference, is there?”</p><p>“Have you always been this annoying?”</p><p>“Probably.” Will steps away from the door and lumbers over to his side of the cabin, standing in front of his bed. His chest hums with electricity, face burning with red-hot heat. He smiles nervously at Nico. “Okay, I’m going to take my shirt off.” </p><p>Nico tilts his head in hesitant acknowledgement and turns around so as to give Will privacy. Funny, Will thinks, since he’s going to see him with his shirt off anyway. Not much point in turning around. </p><p>Will pulls his sweater off, the chill of the air biting at his now bare arms. He still has a tank top underneath, brightly flashing in the room. As he’s pulling his tank top off, dreading how cold he’s going to feel when he’s done, Nico says, “You might want to hurry it up because I don’t want anyone thinking…” </p><p>He doesn’t have to finish that thought for Will to know what he means. Will is absolutely certain that he’s blushing now, red pooling over his cheeks and nose. He wants to say that no one will walk in and see this, but he can’t really make promises, even if he <em> did </em>lock the door. Will pulls his white tank top off and just as he suspected, he is absolutely uncomfortable with the cold air.</p><p>He covers his tattoo over with his hand, its coolness seeping onto his chest. “Okay, turn around.”</p><p>If Will could capture the look on Nico’s face in a jar, trust him, he <em> would </em>. </p><p>It’s almost slow motion; Nico turns slowly, nervously, as if almost asking for permission to turn around. He peeks at Will from the corner of his eye, then turns around fully, taking the blond in. Will removes his hand from his chest and smiles sheepishly. When Nico sees the tattoo, his mouth drops open to touch the floor.</p><p>“Oh, my gods,” he whispers, staring at it animatedly. “You… It looks…” </p><p>He steps a little closer, not too much to crowd Will but enough to make him suddenly self-conscious. Nico’s still staring, his eyes betraying complete astonishment, as if he can’t even believe Will really did it. Like he couldn’t decide if Will is the most genius person or the absolute biggest dumbass.</p><p> After several beats of tense, heavy silence, Nico just shakes his head and lets out a laugh. “I don’t really know what to say except for the fact that I’m kind of honored.”</p><p>Will grins, though he’s feeling insecure and uncomfortable. He itches to bring his sweater back on, if only to ease the discomfort. “Well, I didn’t ask one of the most artistic people at camp to draw my tattoo design for nothing, did I?”</p><p>Nico’s shoulders rise and fall gracefully, a blush spilling over his cheeks. While he looks a little uncomfortable, Will doesn’t miss that look of smugness creeping over his lips. “I could hardly be given that title. It belongs to Rachel.” </p><p>“That’s why I said <em> one </em>of the most artistic people. You should be proud of yourself.” Will turns around to pull his clothing on, his skin creeping with goosebumps. The wool of his sweater brushes against his skin and he basks in its warmth, though now he’s not sure if the heat he feels is from the clothing or the mortification he feels by just now showing Nico the tattoo. </p><p>Nico crosses his arms over his chest. “Did it hurt to get it?”</p><p>“Well, actually, funny story,” Will responds, balancing himself over the edge of his bed. “I didn’t use a tattoo gun.”</p><p>Nico’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but the rest of his face seems cool, collected. Almost bored, as if he isn’t quite surprised by this. Will’s heart picks up its pace. “Then what did you use?”</p><p>“The Hecate cabin and Aphrodite cabin kind of collaborated to make a quick and painless tattoo process using magic. It’s pretty cool.” </p><p>“Huh,” Nico murmurs, his eyes wandering from Will’s face. He hesitates, then turns his face to his arm, holding it like an artifact. “That’s interesting.” </p><p>“What’s up? Thinking of getting one for yourself, di Angelo?” Will teases. </p><p>“Perhaps.” </p><p>A cocky grin pushes against Will’s features and he tilts his head to the side. “Am I so cool that now even you’re thinking of getting one?”</p><p>“You wish, Solace. You’re still an utter dork. But now you’re just <em> slightly </em> more cool.” He feigns thinking, then winces. “Emphasis on <em> slightly </em>.”</p><p>Will shrugs. “Hey, I’ll take it.” </p><p>A curtain of silence falls between them, and it strikes Will that he hasn’t even offered Nico a place to sit. Anxiously, he shifts to the side and pats the seat beside him on the bed. “You can sit, if you want.” </p><p>Nico hesitates a moment, looking between the Apollo cabin door and to the bed. A pang of guilt strikes Will’s heart. <em> He obviously doesn’t want to stay </em>, Will chides himself. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”</p><p>But his heart doesn’t feel the words. He wants Nico to stay, talk with him. He wants to get to know him more, absorb every piece of information he can. </p><p>Nico shakes his head hesitantly. “No, I’ll stay. I was just going to train, but… Well, this seems better.”</p><p>Is it just Will’s imagination, or is Nico really blushing? A burst of joy explodes in Will’s chest, sprinkling across his veins and organs. He feels like he’s about to explode in light, but he tries not to let Nico know how excited he is. He merely nods and scoots over to make room for him on the bed. </p><p>The mattress dips under the pressure of Nico’s body, and Will is suddenly <em> very </em>aware of the son of Hades’ proximity, so close that he can practically feel his body heat. Will’s surprised to find the lightest splash of freckles across Nico’s nose and cheeks, not quite as prominent as Will’s but still there. His skin seems to glow with a pale light, illuminated by the gray outside. </p><p>Nico laughs softly, staring around the cabin. He leans back a little. “You guys have changed this place up so much. I remember my first time at camp… All those cute little pink Barbie posters.” The son of Hades tilts his head to Will, a sly, taunting grin stretching across his lips. “Didn’t you and your siblings dance to that one song about Barbie? What was it called?”</p><p>Will groans and holds his face in his  hands, shaking his head. “No, no, I was <em> really </em> hoping you’d forget about that.”</p><p>A laugh pierces through from Nico’s chest, pure and golden, and another spark of joy explodes in Will. “You think I’d forget about something like that? What do you take me for? And you’re avoiding the question: what was the song called?”</p><p>Will leans against his pillow and laughs nervously. “It was called ‘Barbie Girl.’ Now, from the bottom of your heart, could you <em> please </em>forget about that?”</p><p>“Not a chance. I have blackmail bait to use against you.”</p><p>“Oh, great.”</p><p>Will will admit, despite all the teasing, having Nico taunt him like this makes him feel… Well, he’s not quite sure. Maybe relieved is the right word. Or grateful. Maybe that was a better term.</p><p>Will knows what kind of shit the other campers have said about him, complaining how the son of Hades is “oh so creepy” and never laughs. But with Will, Nico seems to be freer, relaxed. People would claim that Nico was rude and moody, but maybe the son of Hades was only misunderstood. Because after all this time repairing their relationship, Will can’t even imagine Nico being that way anymore.</p><p>Sure, he can be moody. But maybe he has a right to be. It’s not like he really was accepted at camp before now, was it?</p><p>But by being Nico’s friend, he feels like he’s getting a secret look into the hidden secrets of this boy, diving deep into a tomb to get the ultimate treasure. Nico may be reserved, but he’s so much more interesting than people make him out to be. He has his quirks, his insecurities and strengths. He’s just a human; why make him out to be regarded as a freak?</p><p>In fact, maybe Nico’s nicer than most people Will’s met. </p><p>Will’s just grateful to get to see these hidden layers to Nico.</p><p>Nico sighs. “Wow, we were really young then. Like, what? Ten or eleven?” He shakes his head in amazement and focuses on the ground, seemingly lost in the past. “Where did the time go?”</p><p>Will shrugs, his skin prickling with the realization. “Were we ever young? I feel like we’ve been old for… so long.”</p><p>Nico nods in agreement. “So much has happened since then. It’s kind of overwhelming thinking about it.”</p><p>A moment passes between them, but to Will it feels like an hour. He’s still thinking about all the things that have happened to him just in the past few years, all one right after another. First leaving his mother, then losing a brother. And then losing another brother. He lost friends. He’s been through two wars. How many fifteen-year-olds have been in his shoes?</p><p>His chest feels tight and heavy just thinking about the past years. A choking pain builds up in his throat, repressed tears threatening to spill over a dam. Lee. Michael. Mother. All these people who left him.</p><p><em> Nico </em>. Who also left him all alone, after Will thought their friendship was doing so well.</p><p>A strange yet familiar buzzing feeling takes over him, his muscles and skin frenzied. Electricity spikes through him. With a jolt, Will understands what’s about to happen. <em> No </em> , he thinks, <em> not right now </em> . <em> Not with Nico </em>.</p><p>Thankfully, Nico doesn’t notice. He turns his eyes to Will’s, brown on blue. Will forces himself to focus on Nico’s eyes, their intense brown, the color of dark chocolate and memories of sweetness. He grounds himself with the son of Hades’ irises.</p><p>“How are you?” Nico asks. Will’s taken aback by this sudden question, not sure what he means. He opens his mouth to speak but Nico continues. “I mean, like… After everything that’s happened? I can’t imagine it’s been easy for you...”</p><p>For a moment, Will blanks. His thoughts stop in their tracks, pausing to comprehend the question. It’s as if someone pressed BACKSPACE on his brain and was stuck trying to think of a word to continue the train of thought.</p><p>Will thinks carefully about how to answer. If he shows Nico too much, what will the son of Hades think? That he’s just trying to get pity points? That he’s looking for attention?</p><p>Nico waits patiently, eyes bearing into Will’s. This isn’t an exam, and yet Will still feels as though he’s being tested in some way, judged for how well he’ll answer. He decides to take an indirect approach to his answer: “Well, I’ve got my ghosts.”</p><p>Nico stares at him a moment longer, waiting for more, but when it’s clear that Will won’t give in, he only nods. “I suppose we all do, don’t we?”</p><p>Will finds the line a little ironic, seeing as Nico is a son of Hades himself, but he doesn’t mention this parallel. His gaze is so intense, so hooked, that Will can barely pull himself away from Nico’s eyes. He swallows, his throat aching. “Sometimes they feel a little too literal,” he mutters, kicking his heel against the floor. </p><p>Nico frowns, eyebrows arching sharply. Will’s breath hitches, stolen for the fraction of a second. <em> He’s so pretty </em>. “What do you mean by that?”</p><p>Will shrugs, picking at a loose thread on his sweater. “It’s just… So many people have died over the years, each and every life stolen for the Underworld.” He shrugs, a pang in his chest at the memories of all the lives he’d lost. “Some of them left as <em> I </em>was tending to them. It feels like I’ve got their blood on my hands.” </p><p>Nico’s silent next to Will, and for a second Will’s anxious that he’s fucked it up, that he’s ruined the entire moment. What if Nico only thinks he’s faking his pain? What if he ridicules him?</p><p>“Why do you feel like that?” Nico asks. </p><p>Will hesitates. “Because… I’m supposed to be a healer. But if I can’t save people’s lives, then what good am I?”</p><p>Nico shakes his head, his brows knitting together. “But you <em> are </em>good, Will. You’re one of the best healers at camp.”</p><p>“Yeah, maybe I am,” Will agrees. “But if I’ve lost so many lives… What kind of difference does it make on how good or bad I am? Life is still lost. I’m to blame.”</p><p>Nico chews his bottom lip, deep in thought. A curling heat blares in Will’s body, its flame licking at his nerves. He knows Nico’s going to try to assure him, tell him that it isn’t his fault, but no matter how many times people tell him those things, he fails to believe them. Aren’t healers supposed to save people? What good is he if he can’t even do his job right? </p><p>And since Lee and Michael have died, being cabin counselor only makes the job harder, and makes him more insecure in himself. Because not only does he have to worry about saving other people’s lives, now he’s got to be in charge of a whole handful of his siblings, of all different ages and backgrounds. He has to act like a sort of parent to them, while he can barely take care of himself.</p><p>It’s so draining. Each and every night he feels a hollowness inside him, as if he isn’t quite living his life to the fullest. But what is he supposed to do to let himself live it to the fullest? When he has so many responsibilities already?</p><p>“I think…,” Nico begins, then seems to stop and reconsider his words. A few seconds go by before he speaks again. “Listen. Coming from someone who’s been around death and knows a <em> lot </em> about death, I know how painful it can be to feel the brutality of mortality. It’s like even a piece of you dies inside, too. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been close to the person or not; in the end, death is still a constant threat.” Nico brushes the back of his neck, then plays with the sleeves of his sweater. His eyes stray towards Kayla’s bed on the opposite side of the cabin, but they look far away, in a place where Will can’t reach him. He’s adrift in some kind of astral plane. “But… sometimes it’s easier to just accept that they’re dead. Sometimes it really isn’t your fault, no matter how much you think it is. I mean, of course, in some cases it <em> is </em>someone’s fault, but that’s in cases like murder or whatnot.” Nico twists his eyes back to Will’s, the dark brown of them seeming like endless pits. A moment of hesitation, and then Nico tentatively places his hand over Will’s wrist. His thumb graces the son of Apollo’s inner wrist, and Will feels the softness of it. Some kind of shock buzzes through him, an exhilaration by this mere touch. He feels almost jittery. “What I’m trying to say is… you can’t always blame yourself for someone’s death. In some cases… it’s someone’s choice. Sometimes it’s a noble choice, like a hero risking their life for their friends. You could cry and scream and grieve for as long as you want about that hero’s death, about how you could have stopped it, but that doesn’t change that they’re dead, does it? Because death isn’t repairable. It’s permanent.” Nico slips his fingers into Will, hand shaking a little as if even Nico is nervous about doing this, and Will feels another wave of absolute excitement wash over him. “It’s better to accept what happened than to keep thinking about what happened. And that’s hard, I get it. But sometimes you have to think about why they died, the reasons behind all of it. You may be the healer, Will, and maybe you’re in charge of fixing someone when they’re on the brink of death… but think about why they’re on the brink of death anyway. Is it you that caused them to die? Or was it for another reason that wasn’t entirely related to your healing?” Nico shrugs. “Sometimes, it just comes down to the person’s choice.” </p><p>Will’s chest feels like it's blowing up, expanding, filled with water, but the rest of him feels numb, immune to all feelings. He feels like a hole in the universe. He knows Nico means well, but it’s not enough to convince him. “Does that matter in the end, though? The memory still sticks. The grief is constant.”</p><p>Nico nods understandingly. “I know. That sucks a lot. But I’m gonna sound a little cliché here and say that it just takes time. And a lot of self-reflection and care. You’re allowed to feel bad about it, but eventually you’ll discover that you just need to let go.” Nico winces. “I can’t imagine it’s been easy to keep that in yourself for so long. But at some point, it’ll get literally crushing. Detrimental to well-being. Terrible to the point you won’t even be able to feel anything. And since you <em> are </em>a healer - I mean this only with honesty, and I’m not trying to scare you - there will probably be a lot more situations where you lose people. Not because you’re a bad healer, but just because some people are destined to die at one point. Life and death is not necessarily up to the doctors or the people within someone’s life; it’s up to destiny, to fate. Sometimes you can’t stop death.” The son of Hades shrugs. “It’s something you have to learn to accept.” Nico pauses, letting his words flutter and settle in gently. “Will… maybe you should talk to someone about that. Like… carrying that guilt around isn’t good for you.”</p><p>A red hot anger bursts in Will, flaming his nerves. He feels like he’s on fire. He wants to say that yes, he <em> knows </em>he should talk to someone and he doesn’t need someone else to tell him that.</p><p>But he doesn’t burst like that. It’s not in his nature. Will looks over Nico, sees the sincerity in his eyes, and his raging flame snuffs itself out. He especially can’t burst like that to Nico. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because Nico just does something to him that calms all his emotions. He sighs, deflated. “I know.”</p><p>Nico opens his mouth to speak, a hesitance in his eyes, but then decides the better of it. The boys sit in silence for a moment, a chill in the air. Will is still hyper aware of the son of Hades’ hand in his, brushing against his palm, sending chills through him. It’s cool against his palm, but it still seems to heat up Will’s insides. Only now does Will realize that Nico’s been holding his hand for a while, much longer than that night at the campfire. He isn’t quite sure what he wants to make from that, but he’s just glad to have Nico’s support there. </p><p>Nico seems quite aware of the fact that he’s still grasping Will’s palm in his, too. He inclines his head to look at it, stare at its absurdness, with Will’s tan strikingly bright against Nico’s paleness, but he doesn’t make a move to remove it. He turns his eyes to Will, a reluctance, an acceptance in them. It’s a sign of trust, Will realizes.</p><p>Will looks at Nico, at his features, gleaming in the darkness. He looks like a star in the darkness, reflecting light over the place. His eyes lock with Will’s, and for a moment, time stills, moving slowly as if through syrup. </p><p>Looking into his eyes, Will thinks of his past adventures with Nico, their friendship and their histories. He’s struck by how much Nico’s grown, how much he’s changed. Gone is the bright-eyed ball of excitement he met so many years ago; in his place is someone much different, much more serious. He’s seen a lot. His all-new scars display his stories to the world. Will thinks he’s never looked more beautiful. </p><p>He thinks back to their ventures, to the night Nico left for the first time. Here one day, smiling and playing Myth-O-Magic, and then gone the next, like a whisper barely heard. Nothing hurt Will more than to know that his friend had left without even saying goodbye. Hadn’t even thought to mention to Will that shit was happening.</p><p>And it happened again, time repeating itself. Nico left for the second time after the Battle of Manhattan, leaving Will just when he thought things were building up again. He’d never felt so cheated, so left alone. Especially when he had just started realizing how much more Nico meant to him than he thought. </p><p>And here they are again, united after over a year. Only after another tragedy, though - the Battle at the end of the summer. It was almost like fighting and war were the only reasons they ever got to know each other, got to be together.</p><p>A memory sparks in Will’s mind, of the moment before Octavian was launched into the air, thrown over to die. He remembers the way Nico looked, a face of both adamance and regret. Will will admit, knowing that Nico was just about ready to throw Octavian to his death was… not ideal. Not only did it make Will fear the son of Hades, but that was the moment that he truly realized the person he was seeing before him was not the same cherry-faced boy he’d met only a few years back. He’d changed, <em> evolved </em> into something else.</p><p>And even Will hated himself a bit, too. Because he let Octavian die. Nico said some deaths couldn’t be prevented, but what if Will <em> could </em>have? He didn’t like the idea of being related to Octavian, but… it didn’t feel right knowing his distant relative had died because of his actions.</p><p>Will takes a breath, almost choking as the surprisingly cool air burns its way through Will’s nose. Unintentionally, he squeezes Nico’s hand, only a little. Nico leans in a little, as if expecting Will to get serious.</p><p>“Do you…” Will clears his throat, which suddenly goes dry. A nervousness consumes him; his body flinches. He takes another breath and looks into Nico’s eyes. “Do you ever think about Octavian? His death?”</p><p>Nico’s eyes widen, taken aback. He jumps back a little, looking as if he’d been slapped. Will tightens his grip on Nico’s hand, only a little, just to prevent it from slipping from his. He’s not sure why he even mentioned Octavian and his passing, but he feels a pull to talk to the son of Hades about it. It’s another death on his hands. Isn’t it fitting to talk about it now, as they discuss mortality?</p><p>Nico swallows, eyes wandering as if searching for words to pick up from the floor. His fingers shake in Will’s, and he’s almost ready to let Nico shake his hand loose, but Will doesn’t let him. He needs the hand; he needs something stable to hold onto.</p><p>He needs to know he’s not alone.</p><p>“I…,” Nico starts, but his voice stops in its tracks, as if the words choke him just by muttering them. He bites his bottom lip nervously. “I… do.”</p><p>“Do you regret it?”</p><p>“Will, I already told you some deaths can’t be prevented.”</p><p>“Do you think about it?” Will asks, persistent. </p><p>Nico’s eyes search Will’s, brown on blue, dark on light. They’re an endless, dark void, seemingly going on forever. Will could stare at them all day. Nico sighs. “I mean, yeah. I do. But… he’s another person I’ve killed.”</p><p>Will almost loses his breath. “<em> Another </em> ? How many people have you killed? Like, do you mean another <em> human </em>? Because monsters don’t count…”</p><p>Nico nods solemnly. “I have killed demigods before. And he’s just another on my list. The guilt of his death weighs on me everyday, Will. I would never forget and dishonor his life, especially if his death happened right in front of me.”</p><p>A suffocating feeling entangles Will’s chest, squeezing hard. An ache builds in his throat, his head. </p><p>Nico has killed people.</p><p>Will’s had his own fair share of experiencing demigods’ deaths, but he knows that those were usually as a result of medical issues. For Nico, they were by his own hands. He knowingly has killed people. Will’s not sure how to feel about that.</p><p>Nico shrinks in his seat, eyes straying everywhere, as if uncomfortable with Will’s gaze. “Will, please… I know what you’re thinking. I <em> know </em>I seem like a monster. And maybe I am.” His dark eyes turn back on Will’s, vulnerability piercing them. “But they were necessary deaths. And I’m a demigod - I’m bound to kill people at one point. On purpose.”</p><p>Nico’s hand quivers in Will’s, his skin fluttering. He’s nervous, Will realizes. The air in the room stills, burns against Will’s skin. It feels as though they’re on a tightrope; one wrong move, and they both fall over into the deep, dark abyss.</p><p>Nico’s body moves back a little, his toes already pressing against the floor. He’s getting ready to flee, to escape Will before it gets worse. <em> He thinks I’m going to hate him </em>, Will realizes with a shock.</p><p>“Maybe I should go,” Nico mutters hurriedly, pressing his other hand into the mattress to stand up. His hand loosens its grip in Will’s, his palm sliding against the son of Apollo’s.</p><p>But Will isn’t ready to let him go yet. Not when he’s just started to uncover the layers of the mysterious son of Hades.</p><p>Just before Nico’s fingertips desert his, Will reaches out further and pulls Nico’s hand back, tugging his body forward. His fingers tingle, spark, electricity traveling down his veins. Nico’s mouth opens in surprise, eyes filled with shock.</p><p>Will frowns. “I don’t think you’re a monster.” The son of Apollo shakes his head. “Death isn’t… Well, I’m not sure everyone deserves it. But there are certain instances where… they do. And you’re a noble hero, Nico. I would never think you’d kill someone just for the fun of it.”</p><p>“But you’re still scared of me.” He makes it sound like a simple statement, a known fact of the universe. He tilts his head, almost daringly.</p><p>Will mulls the words over, rolling them in his head. Finally, he shakes his head. “I’m… surprised, to say the least. But I’m not scared. I trust your judgement. I trust that you think they deserved to go to the Underworld.”</p><p>The son of Hades’ eyebrows jump, a wild excitement in his eyes. He looks around nervously, then offers a single nod. “Okay,” he whispers, almost only to himself. “If you say so.”</p><p>Will doesn’t say anything, merely nods. </p><p>“Do <em> you </em>think about Octavian often?” Nico asks. </p><p>Will sighs, his breathing shaky, arms chilled. “I have nightmares about it.”</p><p>Nico’s eyebrows turn downwards in worry, sympathy in his eyes. “Will, I’m sorry. I… I’m sorry you had to see that.”</p><p>Will shakes his head nervously, quickly, trying to convince Nico that it isn’t his fault. “It’s okay, really. I just… I’ve never been so involved in a death. I mean, I’ve had patients die in my arms, but that was… really different. With Octavian, it felt like… like I was a real murderer.”</p><p>Nico’s quiet for a moment, his eyebrows still creased nervously. Will doesn’t miss the pity, the shame in him. Will tugs at his fingers. “Hey, it’s not your fault, Nico. I’m just a little sensitive to those kinds of things, I guess.”</p><p>Nico nods. “I get that, but I guess I still feel kind of responsible.”</p><p>Will shakes his head again, an ache in his chest. He feels terrible for making Nico think that. “It’s not your fault, really. I was standing with you. Don’t feel bad.”</p><p>Nico nods, though he looks lost in thought, zoned out in a different time period. Moments of silence pass between the boys, tense, chilling. </p><p>“Sometimes it feels like everyone’s deaths are my shadows,” Nico admits, his voice shivering against his throat. His eyes are glazed over, glassy as they peer at Will. “They follow me around everywhere. Even if they’re not about the people that I’ve personally killed, it’s just… <em> everyone </em>who has died. Even if it isn’t directly my fault. Everyone I’ve ever loved or cared about.”</p><p>Will nods, because he gets that. It’s a string pulling him from happiness every time he even laughs a little. Any time he wants to relax, to calm down about everything happening in his life, there’s a constant reminder of the lives he’s lost, of those he couldn’t save. They’re ghosts who haunt him during the day all the way to night, whispering in his mind.</p><p>“It makes it hard to want to care about people,” Nico murmurs quietly, watching Will’s head bob in agreement. “I’m scared if I let anyone in, then I’ll lose them too. If I love someone, then I have the chance to lose them, and I’ll feel responsible somehow.”</p><p>A cord pulls at Will’s heart as he gazes at Nico, who watches him with an intensity in his eyes, a blazing fire bursting through his dark brown. He seems to be saying something, though Will isn’t quite sure what the secret message is. But nonetheless, there’s a fire blazing in Will, too. A vague feeling, as if some subconscious part of him understands what Nico’s trying to say. His head hurts because he <em> knows </em>Nico’s trying to say something, but he just can’t crack the code.</p><p>“I guess…” Nico’s voice halts in its tracks, stolen for a moment. He bites his lip, and a bright red blush blooms on his features. “I think that’s why I’m afraid to get close to you, Will. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you were gone.”</p><p>And suddenly it makes sense to Will. His heart expands and bursts; goosebumps trail across his arms; a giddiness comes over him. Will doubts this is a confession, but there’s an intimacy to Nico’s words. He cares about Will more than he wants to admit, in a way that maybe even Nico’s afraid to say out loud.</p><p>Suddenly their intertwined fingers seem warmer, bursting with heat. Skin on skin, fingertips to fingertips. Will’s suddenly aware of how alone they are in the Apollo cabin, the only vibrancy in the room. It feels as though they are planets in the universe, each boy trying to follow the other’s orbit.</p><p>“Nico…”</p><p>“My shadows follow me around everywhere, Will. I don’t want you to become one.” Nico’s breathing is ragged, urgent, begging Will to understand, though the blond isn’t sure why he’s so nervous. </p><p>“I have shadows of my own, Nico,” Will whispers. He takes Nico’s other hand gently, feeling the other boy’s coolness under his warmth. “And I don’t mind that you have shadows. In the light, they’ll go away.”</p><p>And suddenly, like a rainbow breaking through after a long day of rains, Nico smiles, lips as red as roses. The snow clouds outside part a little, letting a little sun pour in golden rays through the window. They momentarily spill over Nico, illuminating his features. His dark eyes absorb the light, turning a milky brown, and Will’s chest blooms with warmth.</p><p>In the light, his shadows wash away.</p><p>And then, all at once, the sun stops gleaming, once again overtaken by the snow clouds, and Nico’s smile disappears. Devastation splashes over Will as Nico hesitantly removes his fingers from the son of Apollo’s and inclines his head nervously, his blush strikingly bright against his pale skin.</p><p>He steps back a little nervously. A pang of guilt and sadness hits Will in the chest, and the ache of tears blocks his throat. What if he’s scared Nico off now?</p><p>“I… I should go,” Nico mutters. “I need to train.” He turns around, and for a moment, Will wonders if he’s royally fucked everything up. But then Nico pauses, swivels his head around, and tilts his face, hair falling over his eyes. “See you at dinner?”</p><p>Will smiles. “See you there.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>will and nico finally tell each other that they're gay for each other but make it really cringey</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WOOOO IM FINALLY DONE!!!! i started this all the way in october and now it's march which is like. wait gimme a sec im gay and can't do math. its like. oh its like 5 months. </p>
<p>anyway, happy finale to my very first fic on AO3!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Christmas spirit has been settling in over camp, sprinkling in more and more excitement every day. And now that today is the day of gift-giving and cheery laughter, a bittersweetness floats in Nico’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a hollowness that appears in his body, a dark, black hole with nothing to fill it - but it’s nothing new. Ever since Bianca died… Well, let’s just say it hasn’t exactly been his favorite holiday. Especially considering she’d passed just days before he could even celebrate Christmas with her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since then, Nico hasn’t exactly had the best relationship with the holiday. Before he discovered Camp Jupiter, he’d spent it once with Hades. Needless to say, it hadn’t exactly gone to plan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he met Hazel, that changed a little bit for him. The two spent their first Christmas in over a while together, and while it didn’t have the same coziness or familiarity that Nico was so used to with Maria and Bianca, he was glad just to have it. He’d been so lonely for so long that just an inkling of comfort was enough for him to stay that entire week.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This year will be a little different, but that doesn’t matter to Nico. He’s been on the run for a long time; every single year is different from the last. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This year he’s decided to spend it at camp. It’s a strange feeling, being back here for Christmas after so many years. The shadow of his demons crawl over him everywhere he steps. The memories of taunts and discomfort resonate in his bones. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Camp Half-Blood has had its own time to heal, just as Nico has. He’s started truly viewing it as a home. Not quite </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>home, not yet, but a sufficient home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Especially with a certain Will Solace, who has slowly but surely been paving his way through Nico’s heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If someone asked him when </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly </span>
  </em>
  <span>he started catching feelings for that golden cheeseball, Nico would honestly say he wouldn’t know. It started happening slowly; the feelings were just trickling in since who knows when, just barely noticeable. Like water leaking from a ceiling and falling into a container. It was slow and sweet, and each droplet felt insignificant, but before Nico knew it, he was suddenly a full bucket, overflowing with liters of emotions. He felt heavy with the weight of so many feelings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In all honesty, Nico isn’t quite sure how to feel about this new crush. This isn’t like his last crush on Percy; instead, it’s freer, lighter, as if a huge weight has been lifted off him. With Percy, he only felt gallons of dread pouring over him each and every day, drowning him in misery, drenching him with humility. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Will, it’s just a light breeze brushing against his skin, a golden sun spilling over his body. He feels calmer with this one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And yet, there’s still the anxiety, the suspicion. He’s not sure how many people know about his being gay; he doubts many do. But even then, he can’t help but to want to edge away from anyone who stands too closely to him, stares too long at him. He can’t help the cold chill that scrapes against his back as he wonders, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do they know? Will they ridicule me?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So while catching feelings for Will is different, there’s still the inner turmoil. His skin prickles with the alleged immorality of it. The pain is nowhere near as intense as it used to be with Percy, but even then, he can’t help but to feel like someone’s watching him, judging him. Dagger-like stares haunt him at night as he contemplates who might be stalking him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a strange feeling, though, to have this kind of crush on someone. In all honesty, he’s not too worried about Will’s own feelings towards him; Nico’s just more focused on keeping his own emotions in check, watching out for his own well-being. Whether Will likes him back or not is his own business; Nico just wants to finally let go of all that inner hatred and be free to like whoever he wants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Will wants to be friends, then that’s equally as fine. It’ll pain a little, sure, but it won’t hurt Nico. He’ll just need a little bit of time, but he’ll get over it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Nico’s just glad to have Will as a friend at all. In all his time at camp thus far, he hasn’t been too focused on making friends just yet. Nico’s promised himself that he’ll try soon, considering how he’ll be making camp his new home, but for now he just wants to try only to care for his own self. He wants to relax without the pressure of caring about other people. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even then, it’s nice to have Will’s company. He may not be ready to make friends just yet, but at least he’s not lonely; he knows Will has his back. So, really, it doesn’t matter if Will likes him or not; all he can ask for is his friendship, and that will be enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which is another reason why Nico’s so grateful for Will’s forgiving of Nico about Octavian’s death. He’ll admit, he’d been too nervous to talk about the incident with him; he didn’t want to bring it up in the fear that Will would start pushing away and leave Nico in the darkness. But after the conversation the two had a few days ago, Nico finds that he’s incredibly grateful. His heart feels unburdened. Guilt still weighs on him, but at least now he doesn’t need to worry about Will’s thoughts on him. At least he doesn’t have to worry about Will leaving him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because if he left Nico as a friend, the son of Hades would have no idea how to react to that. Sure, they hadn’t talked for a long time, but Nico’s found that he’s been enjoying Will’s presence. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he forced Will, one of his only friends, away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All these thoughts circle through Nico’s head as he slashes his sword, stabbing a dummy and letting it thud to the ground. It’s cold outside, but sweat prickles over his skin, and suddenly he wishes he wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt over his clothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows he should perhaps find an actual partner to spar with, but he prefers this alone time. It gives him a chance to ruminate on things. Besides, Percy’s going to be coming to camp for a few days after Christmas. He’ll have plenty of time to actually practice with someone, and it might do him good to fix up his skills with one of the master swordsmen at camp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Being here on his own lets him feel more comfortable with his thoughts. It’s a light afternoon in December, which Nico finds is the most perfect time to think. It’s too much to be lost in one’s thoughts at night, where the darkness might consume him and absorb him into its gloom. At least in the light, while he’s conscious, he isn’t as likely to waste away in the spiral of loneliness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico weaves his limbs through his sleeves and pulls off his sweatshirt; he’ll work better without it. After throwing it to the side, he turns to another dummy, staring at it as if it’s a monster. Energy buzzes in his blood; adrenaline pushes in his veins. Practicing in the arena always has a way to calm him down. Perhaps it's the violence, the rage he can project into his training. He allows his monsters to bring out their true potential. He lets go a little, releases all the anger he has until he’s purged of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are times where he’d rather work with a partner, especially when trying to release any lingering anger, and suddenly he’s wishing for Percy to come by faster. Maybe he can prove how well he’s gotten at this, how maybe he may  have a chance to beat one of the best swordsmen at camp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the thought of Percy’s prospective visit, Nico thinks about his encounters with the son of Poseidon over recent months. A small smile comes over his face at the realization of how much their relationship has improved. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At first, it was strange. Percy had been coming around camp a little more often during September and October. For the most part he didn’t pay much mind to the son of Hades, and Nico found that just as well; as much as he admired Percy’s kindness, he knew that he needed his distance from him, too. He may have gotten over him, but Nico needed to reign in all his anger before he could face Percy again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, on one fateful evening in early November, as if sensing that Nico’s internalized rage was taming, he pulled the son of Hades aside and apologized. It was a fairly heartfelt apology, Nico could admit, so he accepted it. He promised himself he wouldn’t forget the way that Percy treated him - or, for that matter, the way that almost everyone treated him - but he’d let it go. That’s what he was going to focus on from now on, and it wasn’t fair of him to keep holding that issue with Percy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Percy asked Nico to hang out and try to get their friendship back on track once more. A part of Nico wanted to run and tell him that he wasn’t interested. There was a certain discomfort being around his ex-crush; he wasn’t sure if he was even </span>
  <em>
    <span>allowed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he also knew that it was important that he and Percy talk. So he went to brunch with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All in all, it wasn’t a bad experience. Nico thinks that they got a lot off their chests, aired their dirty laundry and cleaned it, too. Since that day, he would say that he and Percy have been closer. Not as close as he is with Will, but… well, much closer than he ever thought he would be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s astonishing, really, how much Nico’s entire perspective of Percy’s has shifted in front of his very eyes. He used to admire the boy, bask in his heroic, riotous glory. He was a hurricane, plowing destruction everywhere, and Nico only loved to watch the destruction happen. To him, Percy was almost god-like; he was one of the first demigods Nico had truly met and he’d been so surprised and astonished that he couldn’t help it… he fell in love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But now? Well, now Percy’s just a normal rain shower. Still able to cause destruction, but now he feels more distant. He doesn’t cause as much devastation across the plains of Nico’s heart as he used to. Percy is the annoying kind of rain showers one - the slight raindrops over the skin that are soft enough not to drench you, yet prickle enough to make you itch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s just not the same god-like person Nico once thought he was. And maybe he’s glad that Percy isn’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico steps forward, towering over another dummy. Sweat pinches the back of his neck and his chest heaves with each breath. Exhaustion slowly creeps over him, but he only acknowledges the euphoria of all this fighting. He savors the energy thrumming in his muscles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For once in his life, he finally feels in control. No one is jostling his feelings, and no one is putting his life in danger. Only he’s doing what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>wants, without the care of others’ expectations of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He raises his Stygian sword, balancing his arm out to strike the final blow over the dummy. Other people murmur and practice in the arena, but he feels alone, distant from anyone in his own little corner. He’s only in his own orbit, basking in his own strength. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s about to throw down the sword and stab the dummy when a voice speaks to him from his right. He jumps and drops his weapon, eyes feral with shock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s heart skips a beat when he realizes it’s none other than Will Solace, grinning at him. The son of Hades stoops to pick up his weapon but doesn’t take his eyes off the other boy, curious as to why he’s here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look like you’re working hard,” Will notes, eyes glimmering. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico only shrugs, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach. He stares at the light catching over his sword. “Just clearing my head.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been in here since morning,” remarks the son of Apollo. A hint of concern lies beneath his words. “I’d expect that you’d be tired by now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico merely nods. It’s not really like he’s upset today; it’s only the vague sense of something missing that makes him feel hollow. He runs his finger over the blade of the sword, feeling the coolness seep into him. After a beat of silence, he says: “I’m stronger than I look.” His voice carries a hint of confidence, almost as if he’s daring Will to disagree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s eyes rove over him, judging him silently. Nico stands straighter to try to match the aura of strength he felt merely moments ago. Will nods. “I know you are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico drops the tip of his sword to the ground and leans his weight on it. “So, what are you doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A joyous grin overcomes Will’s mouth, illuminating his eyes. Nico finds it quite mesmerizing how easily each of his features mold into emotion. “Well, I only came here to get you for lunch. I have your present to show you, too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico blanks for a moment. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Presents</span>
  </em>
  <span>? he wonders</span>
  <em>
    <span>. What kind of presents? </span>
  </em>
  <span>And then he remembers that it’s Christmas; they’re supposed to exchange gifts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s heart flutters at the prospect of giving Will his gift. He didn’t really know what to get the son of Apollo, but he wanted to get him </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was only fair; they’ve been friends for a while now, and Will’s shown him a lot of kindness. It was time to return the favor. He just hopes Will likes it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico pulls his sword to his side and pushes it back into the darkness, making it disappear right out of his hands. Will watches him shove it into the shadows, a glimmer of astonishment appearing in his eyes. “I didn’t know you could do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Turning past Will to retrieve his sweatshirt, Nico explains, “Yeah, I usually just keep it in the shadows. It’s easier than keeping it at my side.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Nico pulls his sweatshirt over himself again, Will asks, “Wait, you can </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two wander out of the arena, wind brushing against their faces. Grayish sunlight dapples over camp. Nico smiles. “I can. Impressed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Super impressed.” A smirk crawls over Will’s mouth. “Were you trying to impress </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, di Angelo?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wish.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The clouds over the outskirts of camp are a heavy white, the threat of a snow storm looming overhead. Nico hopes the camp borders will allow some in. That would be pretty nice for a Christmas day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Five minutes later, the boys find themselves in the dining pavilion. Demigods are only now pouring in for their meal, excitement buzzing in the air. Nico spots the children of Apollo milling around their table, smiling widely, small and large presents hidden behind their backs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico rounds over to the Hades table but Will grabs his arm before he can sit down. “Wait, why are you sitting here?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico blinks and stares at Will’s fingers over his wrist. Will doesn’t move for a moment, then seems to realize his mistake and immediately latches off. A blush coats his face. Nico shrugs. “Am I not supposed to sit here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will raises his hand and scratches the back of his neck. A timid shimmer appears in his eyes. “Well, actually… I was thinking you could join the Apollo campers today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anxiety wraps a cord around Nico’s chest, pulling harder and harder until he feels like his rib cage is about to cave in on itself. He steps back a little. “You mean… </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>your siblings?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not the first time you’ve sat with us, right?” Will argues. “And… well, I don’t know. I mean, I’d love to sit here with you to exchange gifts but wouldn’t it be more fun if we all sat together?” A bright smile sparkles over his mouth. “And we have a fun tradition at our table.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico considers his options: sit here with only Will and risk having his friend miss out on his Christmas traditions, or sit with his siblings and risk having to partake in conversations he’s not quite ready for?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico glances nervously at the campers, reluctance gripping him like a vice. A list of all the things that could go wrong suffocates his thoughts. Will appears to notice this because his features pull together in concern and he says, “Or we don’t have to. I just… you know, I just thought it would be cool. A new friend to celebrate with.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico doesn’t miss the hesitation in the way he says </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Almost like he isn’t even sure that’s the right word to use anymore. The boys look at each other, tension tight in the air. Nico’s heart flutters in his chest and he has to force himself to calm down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wants to let Will hang out with his siblings. He knows he should. But he also wants the alone time to give Will the present. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gazes back to the Apollo table, where the demigods are now staring at him and Will in anticipation. His skin prickles under their gaze. Why are they even staring? Is it strange that he and Will are hanging out?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A cold voice in his mind suggests, </span>
  <em>
    <span>They know you like him. You’re making it obvious</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Terror seizes Nico’s blood and he steps away from Will, just a little, if only to calm his nerves. His breath hitches, barely noticeable and yet enough to indicate that Nico’s panicking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the rational part of him argues. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop thinking like that. They won’t hurt you anymore</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After taking a moment to gather his thoughts, to reign in his shadows, he turns back to the Apollo kids. Nico’s mind swirls with thoughts and calculations. He should start making friends, shouldn’t he? Nico hasn’t been at camp all this time simply because he needs a place to stay. He’s sticking around to improve his life. A buzz of excitement circulates in his muscles. He swallows and says, “How about I give you my present first, and then I’ll… join you. At your table.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s just a few words, but even then a new confidence blankets over Nico. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll join you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He said it like it was his own decision, like he’s in control of himself. Nico straightens, overcome with a new sense of power. Will’s mouth eases into a smile, striking the child of Hades with his gorgeousness. He wasn’t aware he was looking for Will’s validation, but something warm pulses in the pit of his stomach at the mere sight of the son of Apollo’s approval. He knows Will would have been fine with any choice, but it makes him happy that he can bring out this grin from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For as long as he’s known, he’s only had people cower before him. Standing with Will, though, and seeing him smile simply because he’s said something… well, that makes him hopeful. Maybe he really has a chance to make friends here at camp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he’ll finally find a permanent family.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boys step over to the Hades cabin table, occupying the same side. Chiron has started making exceptions to the assigned-by-cabin rule for Nico, especially knowing how powerful the son of Hades can be, and so no one bats an eye at the two. Nico is hyper aware of Will’s shoulder brushing against his. His body emanates a heat so strong that Nico almost forgets it’s winter. The son of Apollo’s blond curls dance in the air, swaying to a silent song. They flop over his forehead in golden ringlets and dangle right over Will’s eyes, and Nico’s overcome with the urge to push them away. He wants those blue eyes to offer him their bottomless beauty. He just wants to feel their warmth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A secretive smile brushes against Will’s mouth as he says, “Hold on, let me get the present from my own table.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The son of Apollo stands, pressing his palms against the wooden table. A moment later he returns carrying a large gold-papered gift. As Nico watches him approach, he pushes his fist out into the shadows between the table and the floor in the hopes of grasping his own present. The shadows spill away to let his hand in and the cold brush of darkness whispers against his skin, turning it to a translucent gray color. His hand feels almost weightless as he gropes around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will watches in both horror and fascination. “How do you do that? Is it the same as shadow-traveling? Do you have to, like, melt into the shadows?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s shadowed fingers hit something a little more solid and, after gripping it with his finger tips, he pulls it out. Smiling, he answers, “A little, except it doesn’t take as much of my strength. Think of it like a dark shadowed locker where I keep all my stuff in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will tips his head in acknowledgement and seals his lips as he settles down next to Nico again. The son of Hades doesn’t miss the stormy flash in his blue eyes. He frowns. “Hey, everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will looks up. Then he shrugs and nods. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” His brightness comes over again, completely erasing the original sullen look, and for a moment even Nico’s convinced nothing is wrong. The blond pushes the box over to Nico. “Okay, open it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico gazes at him hesitantly, curious as to why he looked disturb only a second ago. But Will pushes the gift forward a little more, nodding encouragingly, and Nico’s curiosity gives way to anticipation. He places his own present - wrapped in a white snowflake print paper - on the table and takes Will’s gift into his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His heart thuds in his chest. He’s not quite sure why - perhaps it’s the way that Will’s watching him, a look of pure excitement in his eyes as if he could sit here all day just waiting for Nico to open his gift. Or maybe it’s the way that Will’s even given Nico a present at all. Something about the action touches Nico, strikes something in his core. He feels warm all over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His fingers pick at the paper, careful so as not to completely destroy the beautiful wrapping. Will scoffs, “Oh, gods, you’re one of those careful un-wrappers? I’ve never really understood that.” A soft smile flickers over his lips. His eyes drift faraway, back to a time he can’t ever reach again. “I remember I’d have wrapping paper thrown around everywhere by the time I was done going through all my presents when I lived with my mom. She’d be so done with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ghost of a smile haunts Nico’s own lips. The sound of Will’s voice drones in his ears, sweet and syrupy as honey. He wants him to keep talking, to keep reminiscing about his past, to keep Nico entertained with his younger self. He wants to keep learning about the son of Apollo and his past.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scratching at a spot of tape on the side of the present, he asks, “How come you don’t spend your Christmases with your mom in Texas? I mean, I know she’s probably on tour, but it’s Christmas. She’s bound to be free, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will, who still watches Nico unfurl the wrapper, nods dazedly. “I guess I should. But I’ve gotten really accustomed to the way that things happen here. I just…” He shrugs, shoulders rising and falling gracefully. “I just wouldn’t want to change that, I guess. And, well… especially not this year. Since I’ve gotten to reconnect with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s eyes peer into Nico’s, seething with an intimacy Nico’s never quite experienced. They’re like the sky, vast and deep and endless. Nico wants to stare at them forever, to sit here and stare at the flickers of light illuminating his irises. A warm, awkward silence ecompasses them, setting them apart from the rest of the demigods. They’re in their own world of solitude, facing each other in this endless staring competition.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico clears his throat. “That’s valid.” Finally, his fingernails slip under the last clear tape and he smiles, body suddenly shaking with excitement. His fingers slide under the paper and he uncovers the box. A few pieces of tissue paper flutter in front of him, which he pulls out. Nico offers Will an incredulous look. “Why is there so much paper everywhere? I think you really just killed, like, twenty trees.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Nico rummages through the box, Will grins and leans against the table, head balanced on his hand. “Nah. I just used some magical paper. It’ll be fine. And I can use it again.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what I’m hearing is you just gave me used tissue paper.” Nico smiles sarcastically. “Really feeling the love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Golden laughter spills from Will’s pink lips, seeping into Nico’s ears, brightening the colors in his eyes. He wants to capture the sound and keep it on replay for the rest of his life. It reminds him of sunny days, of picnics, of pure joy. It reminds him of the past, of giggles and pranks and Mythomagic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will just reminds him of happiness. He’s a key to Nico’s past, unlocking all of his memories. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s fingers graze against something soft and fuzzy. For a moment, he’s almost convinced that it’s a pet. But that wouldn’t make sense because there aren’t any breathing holes that he can see. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulls the gift out and stares at it for a moment, trying to understand what it is. Then he laughs. “You got me fuzzy pajamas?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A blush spreads over Will’s cheeks. His face looks like a sweet strawberry, with the freckles as the seeds. “Well, everybody likes pajama pants, right? And they even have a skull print on them! Fits your aesthetic.” Will gestures to Nico’s clothing. “Do you like it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico scrutinizes them, balancing the article of clothing over his arms. “Yeah. I’ll be sure to wear it to sleep tonight. I can’t wait to be surrounded by more skulls in my dreams.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will winces. “I honestly didn’t know if you’d like it, and I thought you’d already had something like it, but I just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>thought you’d like them.” Rubbing the back of his neck nervously, he asks, “Do you? Be honest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico tips his head in a nod. “I do. Thank you. And, surprisingly, I actually don’t own skull pajamas. I haven’t really had the time to go buy some, so… I really just use sweatpants.” After a moment of hesitation, he adds, “But I’m glad you’ve gifted me certified sleeping clothes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you know me, always giving people certified clothing.” Will grins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico hands the son of Apollo his own present, green and red wrapping paper crinkling under his fingers. “Well, if you like to give me articles of clothing, I can assure you that you’ll like my gift.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will takes the box in his hands. “Is that a challenge?” He begins to tear into the wrapping paper. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Papers rustle in the box as Will moves his fingers through them, searching for his present underneath the mess. He throws all the tissue onto the table and peers greedily over the box. Nico’s chest aches with anticipation. Will he like it? Will he only pretend to like it? Does he even care? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After taking a moment to stare at it, Will erupts in laughter. Something golden and warm flows through Nico at the sound of his amusement. Pulling out the present, Will says incredulously, “I cannot believe you got me these.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his tan fingers, Will grips a pair of long, fuzzy, green pants bursting with images of Yoda. Giggles keep exploding from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chewing on his lip thoughtfully, Nico asks, “Do you like it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like it?” Will asks, eyes widening in surprise. “Nico, I love it! How did you even know I liked Star Wars?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I asked Kayla and she said you loved it.” Nico shrugs. “And also you have, like, twenty posters of the franchise by your bed. It wasn’t that hard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s mouth seems permanently stuck in a smile. “Well, I love it anyway. Thank you.” He folds it neatly and starts to put it back into the box when Nico cries, “Wait!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will blinks. “Is everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s something else in there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A confused expression pulls on Will’s features. He turns back to his box and rummages through again, then comes up with a small plush toy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprise overcomes his face. “You got me a Yoda Beanie Boo too?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to say that I had no idea what they were called, but I guess so.” Nico smiles. “It just looked really cute. Kind of reminded me of you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I remind you of a green non-human character?” A slightly offended look comes over Will. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico laughs. “Well, sometimes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you. Best compliment I’ve heard in a while.” Will turns his head back to the pajamas and pats them. “Anyway, I hope you know that I will be sleeping in this every night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be honored when you do.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will packs his pants and the Yoda plushie into the box again. A dryad places plates before the boys and conversation stills for a moment. When she leaves, Will’s voice pipes up again: “So, wait, you didn’t know what a Beanie Boo was?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head, staring at his meal. A plate of turkey stares at him with dollops of mashed potatoes on the side. He frowns. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh.” Will twirls a spoon through his potatoes. “I mean, I get it. But I’m kinda wondering… It must be so intense having to come from one time period into another.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico turns to Will again, absorbing his features. Outside, light gray clouds hang in the air, their presence carrying the promise of snowfall. Despite the grayness outside, though, Will sits as bright as ever, his body almost soaking up the hue of their surroundings. He leeches out all the energy of the room, stealing all the excitement and converting it to his own happiness. He’s almost glowing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will reminds Nico of the sun. He captures people’s attention, keeps the world going. Spreads light wherever he goes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico isn’t sure how long he’s been staring, but Will doesn’t stop him; he merely gazes back at Nico, head tilted curiously. Only after moments does the son of Hades realize that he hasn’t responded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugs and turns away again, opting instead to gaze at his meal. “I guess… I mean, at first I didn’t know what was going on. It was like only months ago the sky was clearer and cars were stranger and people were dressed more modestly. And then I stepped out of the hotel and…” Nico trails off, suddenly consumed by the memories following his departure from the hotel. He shakes his head. “It was just very… strange. Like, suddenly not everyone was dressed the same and there were stranger-shaped cars and more trash on the streets. New music played. At first I thought that maybe everything changed in just a few months, but there were so many changes… It wouldn’t have been possible. But I kind of just accepted it because, well… I mean, I was only ten. The best option for me was to forget.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he speaks, his brain drifts to a time almost forgotten to him, the day that he left the Lotus Casino Hotel. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was, but something felt different to him. Perhaps it was the scenery, or maybe it was the car, or it could even have been the weather. Nico felt as though someone had rearranged his bedroom - the world seemed familiar, but there was some kind of shift in it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He and Bianca sat in the backseat, taking in this strange new world. His seat was much softer than the one he’d ridden just months ago, as if the entire car had been broken apart and put together again to make something entirely new and confusing. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The sky outside spread like a gray blanket, cold rain spilling over American citizens. Nico shivered in his sweater, despite the fact that they were inside the car.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Bianca frowned next to him, her eyes staring straight ahead as the car roved forward. After a moment of silence, she turned to Nico and asked in a whisper, “Do you think this is weird?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nico shrugged and huddled into his jacket, flipping through the pack of Mythomagic cards in his pocket. “We’ve been in there for a while. It’s probably just like this because we’re not used to being outside.” He grinned at his sister, waving the pack of cards. “Wanna play?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She shrugged aside his question and watched warily at the man in the front seat. “I don’t remember cars being so… smooth.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bianca, you worry too much,” Nico said, shaking his head. “We’ve been in there for a while. For all we know, the world exploded and pirates made everything even more advanced.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Bianca shook her head in exasperation but a small laugh bubbled out. “Whatever you say, Nico.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Where do you think we’re going?” he asked, the cards digging into his bare fingertips.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> “I’m not sure.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Rain splattered against the window, taking over the silence that fell over the siblings in the car. Nico leaned into Bianca, feeling her warmth against his body, and she threw an arm around him, pulling his body into hers. Protecting him from the coldness of the world.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The rest of the ride was silent, but Nico didn’t mind. The road ahead of them was filled with possibilities, anxieties of the future, confusion and madness. But right there, in the car with his big sister, he could momentarily forget about everything.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was just him and Bianca against the world.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nico blinks once in an attempt to get a hold of his surroundings again. Will’s face stares back at him, concerned, but the son of Hades barely acknowledges it. His brain feels static, stretched, as if he’d just been thrown around Time. He knows it’s only a memory, but the pain is lethal, stabbing him right through the chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s voice perks up through the buzzing in his head. “Sorry… I probably shouldn’t have asked. You seem upset.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head, but he still feels unnerved, balancing at the lip of a dark abyss. He holds the edge of his seat with one hand if only to keep his grounding on the world, if only to keep himself from falling into some endless pit of despair. “It’s okay, I’m fine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure? Because-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico fixes the son of Apollo with a sharp stare. “Yeah.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will gets the hint. He seals his lips together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico hesitates for a moment, considering if he wants to go further. Pinching the skin over his wrist, he continues: “I think the most surprising part of it all was, like, all the sudden </span>
  <em>
    <span>differences</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I knew something was different but for a long time I just thought it was just… some kind of weird shift.” His shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. “And then I think it really hit me when I started seeing portable phones and new clothes and just a totally different look. More trash on the streets. Warmer air. It was a little bit intense.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will nods. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico continues. “And, like… Well, I didn’t really know I was dipped in the River Lethe. It was only after my father showed me some images…” His voice cracks, shatters, splinters into tiny shards that prick his skin. He sighs. “It was only after he showed me the images that I sort of remembered what happened. And then I realized that meant that the only family members I had left were most likely dead.” He shakes his head as a wave of shame washes over him. “I don’t know if they’ve been left to the hands of Mussolini either. I had - </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>- no idea what happened to them, and I can’t exactly contact them, can I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a prickling hesitance in the air. Will bathes in silence for a moment, considering how to respond. But Nico isn’t sure he even </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>a response. He doesn’t know why he even told Will. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that’s also a lie, because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>know. Nico wants to strip himself, little by little, to show the son of Apollo his own light. He’s only ever been consumed in darkness; maybe now it’s time to show that inside him, there’s a brightness, a yearning, a desire to be close to someone again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s really terrible,” Will whispers, leaning a little closer. His blue eyes glance at Nico with sincerity. “I’m sorry that you… I can’t believe you had to go through that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The heat of embarrassment flows through Nico. Maybe he’s given a little too much of himself already. Will probably only feels bad for him. He doesn’t want him to feel that way, though; he wants to show that he’s grown, </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>growing. He’s not the same as he was months ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wants to show Will that he’s pushed through, that he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>worthy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That he’s stronger than he looks, even outside of physical strength. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico nods nervously. “Yeah, it was hard. But… I mean, I thought I was a goner. I thought there wasn’t much left.” Despite the pang in his chest, a smile pushes itself over Nico’s lips. “But after all that… I’m glad that I stuck around. Because then I discovered that there </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> something for me in this new world. I found Hazel. I found friends. It was hard, but I found them. And I learned to adapt into this century. I learned that… despite all that I’ve lost, maybe I have a better future now. Much better than I could have ever imagined.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico never breaks his gaze at Will; he keeps going at it, gluing their eyes together so that Will has no choice but to keep looking at the son of Hades. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs </span>
  </em>
  <span>him to know that he’s better, that he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>getting</span>
  </em>
  <span> better, that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>will be</span>
  </em>
  <span> better. He doesn’t want to be seen as some kind of sad boy anymore. He wants to show that he’s found a light in himself again. It’s only a flicker, but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Will appears to see this, because a small, motivating smile laces his mouth. Then he leans in, just a little, enough to make Nico’s face flush and his skin crawl with goosebumps. In a low, intimate voice, he whispers, “I hope I’m one of those considered as your friends. And maybe your future.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico isn’t quite sure what Will means by that, but his heart races nonetheless, trying to catch up to the speed of sound. “Yeah,” he answers, his voice low enough to match Will’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t exactly imagine it’s done you any better with your internalized homophobia,” Will says, shrugging. Then his eyes flash and he grimaces. “Speaking of, I know I promised I’d help you. I don’t think I’ve done much helping though, have I?” He sighs and runs his fingers through his curls. “I’m sorry, Nico. I promised you and then never got to help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head and taps a finger on the table. “No, Will, don’t worry about it. Really. It’s not your problem to fix.” He shrugs. “And, besides… I think I’m doing a little better.” A warm blush spreads through his cheeks. “I, uh, took your advice. I started talking to Dionysus.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s eyebrows rise to the very top of his forehead, almost mingling with his hairline. An excited smile takes over his lips. “That’s awesome! How long have you been going? Has it been helping?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve actually been going for a few weeks. In my free time.” There’s a warm glow inside Nico as he speaks this truth. It feels good finally telling someone that he’s taking care of himself. It makes his struggles worth it. “I think it’s been helping a little, but I’ve only gone for a short time. I’m not entirely used to doing this whole therapy thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will nods in understanding. “Yeah, I get it. I was a little nervous when I went.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico tilts his head at the son of Apollo, curiosity tickling his mind. Will mentioned going to Dionysus before, but he never elaborated on it. Now, just at the mere mention of his own experiences, Will looks uncomfortable again, too anxious to dive into the depths of his story. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico pushes his spoon through the mashed potatoes, considering what to say next. Careful to avoid Will’s eyes, he asks, “What’s your history with him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a few seconds, Will doesn’t answer. Nico dares to offer him a glance from the corner of his eye, wondering what’s holding him up. The son of Apollo stares at his lap, fingers tangling together anxiously, and a frown presses against his eyes. A stab of guilt strikes Nico’s chest and he winces. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I’m just curious, but I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do something you don’t want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will peers at him nervously, lips curved into a hesitant frown. His curls are limp against his forehead as if they sense his anxiety. A tense silence tightens around the boys, gripping their throats and pulling them closer. Then Will sighs and shakes his head. “I think I kind of already mentioned this a bit earlier, but… well, you know, the Battle of Manhattan kind of fucked me up for a bit. Like, first our cabin lost Lee, then a year later we… we lost Michael.” His voice cracks a little, like the sound of glass shattering on hard ground. “That took a huge toll on me. And then, in the Battle of Manhattan, that was, like, one of the first instances where I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>truly </span>
  </em>
  <span>experienced death in its element. I lost so many people. I… I couldn’t save so many of them.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s voice simmers down a little. Warm chatter still bubbles over the room, but between the boys, there’s only the echo of silence. Will looks at the ground, right at a large crack on the ground. Memories of rage and despair flood Nico as he looks at it. He wonders if Will, too, feels that anger at himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you saved people,” Nico whispers. “It wasn’t all a wreck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will closes his eyes. “But I lost them, too. There’s no doubt you felt their souls leaving their body. I failed them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico reaches out, fingers grasping for Will’s if only to offer a sense of comfort. A spark of electricity buzzes through him when their fingertips meet. Will opens his eyes and Nico notices the despair in them, the heartache and guilt clawing at the blue of his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gesturing out to the other demigods in the dining pavilion, Nico says, “Without you, not as many of these people would be alive. I know it hurts to lose people, but if you focus only on their loss, you’ll forget about your accomplishments.” Nico’s heart thuds quickly in his chest, passion sweeping over him. His voice comes out urgent as he speaks again, pleading for Will to understand: “Without you, half the camp would be in ashes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will stares at Nico, eyebrows raised as if he doesn’t quite believe him. But he chooses to speak again. “After the battle, I couldn’t really handle it anymore. I was thirteen when I became head counselor; I felt too young. I had too many more people to take care of. I didn’t exactly have people to look up to for help. And I was scared of failing them, of failing the camp. Of failing myself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I kept having nightmares… Everyone’s blood over my hands, my clothes, my face. Their tears on my shirt. The sounds of their gasping breaths.” Will shakes his head. “I couldn’t handle it. I had panic attacks every day for a while.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico frowns. This is new information for him. “You mean you had panic attacks even when we were friends? When I was back for that short time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shrugs. “I guess so.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t tell me?” Nico isn’t sure why he’s so suddenly offended. Maybe because he thought that, despite their short-lived friendship, they were still close enough at that time to tell each other their deepest secrets. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Or maybe he’s offended because he feels guilty. He was struggling with his own issues and forgot about Will. Nico doesn’t even remember truly asking if he was alright.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shrugs again, his face sulking. “I didn’t think it would be the best for you to know. You seemed like you were… going through things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head. “Yeah, maybe I was, but… you shouldn’t have had to deal with that alone. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Nico. It’s not even your fault. I wasn’t willing to share, and that’s none of your fault.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico hesitates, then opens his mouth to promise, “I’m here for you now. I swear on it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s mouth curls into a smile, bright and genuine, and a jolt travels down Nico’s back. His heart speeds up unexpectedly. There’s something about Will, something majestic and gorgeous and beautiful that makes him feel this way. He isn’t sure what, but he doesn’t want the feeling to stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then Will’s smile flashes away, and Nico’s left in the cold, longing for the light of the other boy’s happiness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will continues with his story: “I finally started going to Dionysus after Clarisse found me having an attack in the Apollo cabin. I had no idea how to feel. It was weird to get help. I thought… I thought this was making me weak, going to him. Demigods are supposed to be strong; I didn’t know anyone else who went. I thought maybe I was just not normal, that I was as weak as I always thought I was.” He shakes his head and a nervous laughter spills through his lips. “But it was the best thing I could have done. I mean, everyone’s experiences are different. Some people don’t think therapy necessarily works. But it wasn’t specifically about the therapy - it was just something about getting help that made me feel better. He helped me get through a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s voice swirls in Nico’s head. He thinks it works. Does this mean that it might be good for Nico? Will this help him get through it? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will he finally find a way to fight his eternal demons? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you feel now?” Nico inquires.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… I got diagnosed with a lot of things. Anxiety, depression, PTSD. I won’t say I’m doing my absolute best, especially not after this past summer, but…” He smiles again, and once more is Nico filled with an overwhelming warmth. “But I’m doing better than I was back then. There are still days where I’m just not it. But at least now I know that I don’t have to be alone for it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico smiles back. “Good. I’m glad.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, things become calm between them. Chatter once again surrounds them, bringing them outside of their little bubble and placing them among the others. And Nico realizes something: perhaps he and Will aren’t so different. They are both beings in this universe, dealing with unexpected circumstances, fighting each and every day for a purpose, for a will to live. They’ve both been beaten by the world, left with the scars of their past, holding onto their failures and regret and anger. Both have been forced to believe that it’s an individual fight, that help isn’t required, that they ride or die on their own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But most of all, they’re both grown - </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>growing. And maybe that’s the best they can do for now - just keep moving forward and bloom from the ground into the flowers they were always meant to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will turns his head towards the Apollo table, where his siblings are laughing and handing presents over. Nico gazes at the blond’s profile, soaking up the frown pulling at his lips, the anxiety tightening over his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m worried about them,” Will whispers. Nico raises an eyebrow, asking for more clarification. The blond turns his face back and sighs. “It’s Apollo. We still haven’t heard from him nor heard </span>
  <em>
    <span>about</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. I don’t know if they’re getting dreams or something, but these days they’ve been grilling me a little more, like asking questions about where he could be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you nervous?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s face betrays a reluctance to speak. The hint of unspoken words line his lips, yet even then he holds back. Nico wants to ask what he’s afraid of, what’s stopping him from opening up - but he doesn’t dare voice those inquiries. He merely waits. He knows he can’t force the truth from someone who’s been trying to hide it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Will opens his mouth, and Nico feels as though he’s unlocked a door. “I’m just scared that… that maybe something’s happened, and I can’t help them. I don’t want to scare them. It’s my job as counselor to protect them. But it’s also my job to be honest.” He squeezes his eyes shut as though he’s in pain, as though his moral conflict is physically stabbing him. He grips his fingers over his seat tightly, so tight that they turn into a ghostly white color. “Is it possible to protect them and be honest at the same time?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> think has happened with Apollo?” asks Nico.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shakes his head defeatedly. “I have no idea. But I’ve been talking with Chiron. He seems to think that something’s really wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you told your siblings that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will swallows nervously. “No. I haven’t told them the truth, either. They know I’ve been talking to him and every time they know I’m gone to meet him, they ask me what he said.” He shrugs, shoulders rising and falling under the pressure of exhaustion. “I tell them that there’s been no word.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico considers this information. “Maybe you </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>tell them, Will. If something drastic happens… Well, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to be left in the dark until the very last moment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will nods. “I know. You’re right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico raises an eyebrow. “But?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But… I don’t know how to help them. I can barely handle myself knowing that Apollo isn’t out there, that I have no idea how to get to him. How am I supposed to deal with them?” He groans and pushes his hands over his face in defeat. “I have no idea how Michael or Lee did this. If I can’t even talk to my own siblings, then what good am I at being a head counselor?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico frowns, jarred by Will’s words. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>good. I can’t say I’ve been in your position since I don’t have others in my cabin, but I’m sure your brothers were just as nervous about big events like this, Will. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>a good counselor; trust me. I don’t think anyone in your place would find it easy to go through this. You aren’t the only one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A wavering smile slips over Will’s features, but his eyes betray fear and anxiety. The sight of him makes Nico feel disheartened. He wants to help, but he has no idea how much he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you should tell them,” Nico suggests. “Telling them the truth </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>protect them, Will. It’ll protect them from something even worse in the future.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A flash of disappointment and nervousness appear in his eyes, but Will’s face betrays that he knew this was the answer Nico would give him. “I know. I will.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should do it today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look of despair that plagued Will’s features quickly blank, and he stares at Nico dumbfounded. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Today</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Nico, it’s Christmas. I’m not going to ruin this for them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know it doesn’t sound ideal, but Christmas is supposed to be about family, you know? It’s about being with the people you love.” Nico gestures to the Apollo children, who are currently diving into their meal. “And it’s also about knowing you have support from those you love. To me it sounds like this situation with Apollo is unstable - we’re not sure how much of an impact this will have, or when anything will happen. It’s an unknown. It’s better to tell them soon. Let them know that they have a big brother who’s here for them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tan of Will’s skin gives way to gray ash, contaminating his face. Hesitation chokes him. He doesn’t answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” Nico says, balancing his words, “but I think you’ll feel better when you do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His head bobs reluctantly in agreement. “I think you’re right.” Will turns his gaze to his siblings again, eyes flooding with anxiety. His jaw clenches. Will’s fingers thrum nervously against the table, nails tapping against the wood, his palm flashing every second. It’s a mesmerizing rhythm, Nico thinks. Dark skin and light palm. Darkness and light clashing, contrasting each other, living together on the same limb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a pull in Nico, a yearning in his heart. Watching Will’s hand, the son of Hades is overcome with a desire to stop the movement, stop the anxiety. He needs to hold it, feel the skin under his own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without thinking, Nico reaches out. He grazes the hand quickly and Will freezes, fingers stopping in midair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a second, nothing happens. Then Will’s fingers flex. His warmth floods through Nico, lighting a match in his body. Nico wants to do something, something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> with this hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He intwines their fingers together. At the very action, his mind screams and his skin burns up, flaming with passion and admiration. Will’s palm feels soft and loving under his hand; it fits perfectly into his. Warmth still buzzes through him, flows in his bloodstream, spills into all the crevices of his body. Electricity zaps every particle of Nico’s being. He feels intoxicated, exhilarated by the mere action of holding another person.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This feels right. It feels perfect. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time stills and the scene fades out, blending into shadows. And yet, here sits Will, offering Nico a source of lightness in the darkness. They’re in their own little universe, away from everyone. Only two planets in the entire solar system, circling in each other’s orbit, magnetic pulls bringing them together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then the doubt comes, hard as ever. Suddenly the darkness becomes suffocating, and the crawl of shame creeps over Nico, whispering words into his ear: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Disgusting. Revolting.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The scene of the pavilion returns again, the chatter of demigods boiling in Nico’s ears. There are too many people, too many eyes. He feels like he’s being watched, judged, hated. Are they all staring at him? Do they all see him and Will holding hands? What are they thinking? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shame makes its way down Nico’s back, turning his spine to ice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They’re judging you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They know you’re gay; they all know you like Will. Your cover is blown</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A hotness erupts in Nico’s palm, so painful he has to remove his hand from Will’s. His other hand gingerly holds it. Panic seizes him like a vice. He stares around wildly, wondering who’s been watching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will doesn’t seem to notice any of the inner turmoil, though. A blush erupts over his cheeks and freckles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Nico’s heart thuds dangerously in his chest, thrumming so fast he’s afraid it’s going to jump out of his chest. The world tilts; anxiety tightens a rope over his throat. He feels like he’s choking, burning, crying in the darkness. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Does anyone know? What if someone finds out?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then his eyes land on Dionysus, who’s discussing something with Chiron. As if he can sense Nico’s eyes on him, the wine god glances in his direction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No need to panic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a voice rings in Nico’s head. Nico jumps in his seat, surprised by the intruder in his mind. Mr. D’s eyes glow purple. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You are free, child of Hades. Do not let your fears control you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Relief drapes over Nico, a cool, calm breeze against his mind. He isn’t sure if it’s Dionysus’ power or if it’s of his own accord, but he doesn’t care. Anything to distract him from his underlying insecurities.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will smiles nervously and taps his foot against the concrete ground. “Will you come with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes widen in surprise. His heart thuds again, this time with anticipation. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Me</span>
  </em>
  <span>? What help will I be?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shrugs. “I could use the support. I don’t… I don’t want to face them on my own if they start getting upset. I don’t want to be alone when I face them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico gazes at the kids at the Apollo table. They seem oblivious to Will, existing in their own world, but even then Nico can’t help the unease that creeps over his body. Were they watching him and Will? Do they know? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Do they mind?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s voice flows through Nico’s ears again: “You don’t have to, though, if you’re uncomfortable. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being forced to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flames of doubt burst across Nico’s face. The mere thought of being around them makes him nervous. What if they don’t like him? What if they feel like he’s intruding? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s sat with the Apollo children a few times, but even then it’s anxiety-inducing. His body feels restless and boxed in, and he gets nervous that he won’t be able to escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he promised himself he’ll try to make friends, try to take care of himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico glances at Will’s blue eyes, soaking up his features. The curve of his pink lips, the small scar just by his right eyebrow. The glow of his tan skin. Will is his friend; he should be there for him when he needs it most.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico stands, though his limbs feel like jelly. “I’m your friend. What good would I be if I didn’t come help?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A spark of hope illuminates Will’s eyes and he beams. It’s not often that Nico agrees to sit at the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another burst of warmth spreads through Nico, emanating a low glow throughout his body, throughout his bloodstream, striking every aspect of his being. He feels like he’s on fire, bursting only with excitement. He feels like he’s finally achieving something, finally doing something for himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Together, the boys trudge over to the Apollo table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hours later, as the afternoon bleeds into evening and the antsy chill in the air gives way to small snow flurries, demigods gather by the campfire. They stumble around with blankets flowing from their shoulders, grins flashing in the darkness, laughter simmering over the air. Despite the smaller rivalries at camp, it’s almost like everyone has set aside their differences for a moment and pushed away their anger for one night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For right now, it’s almost like </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> belongs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico and Will sit by each other at the amphitheater. The fire at the center burns a bright gold color, electrified by the excitement of the campers. Some demigods lean into each other, stealing warmth from other bodies. Snowflakes drift slowly onto the ground, glimmering in the night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching the others sitting so closely to each other, Nico is hyper aware of his proximity to the son of Apollo. His shoulder brushes against Nico’s but he doesn’t even seem to notice. Nico finds that almost unfair. Why should </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>notice something so insignificant, while Will, who is sitting right next to him, doesn’t even understand what kind of feelings this simple act of touch is evoking in him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now the boys have changed into sweatshirts and pajama pants. Nico offered to switch into the pants that Will gave him, but the blond shook his head and said that he wanted to save that for a later date. When Nico asked why, he merely answered, “I want us to wear it the same night. Today’s not that night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was all the explanation he gave. Nico didn’t understand what that meant, but he decided not to question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s playing sticks with Kayla, his laughter and groans echoing out to reflect his status in his game. The sound of it rattles in Nico’s head, pinging around like a plastic ball over a ping-pong table. His laughter reminds Nico of fireflies, summer nights, happiness and warmth and friendship, of good memories and lemonade. It sounds like ecstasy molded into a sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico watches his profile, focuses on all the aspects of his face. The firelight gleams over his features, over the golden curls, the sun-kissed skin. His freckles flicker on and off over his face, and his pink lips stretch themselves out into a wide smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s so mesmerizing to look at. Each glance at Will’s face is like a quest to Nico’s eyes; he’s constantly finding new traits, new looks, new scratches and freckles and scars. His face is a map to both his painful past and his glowing future, and Nico wants to follow it, to go on a treasure hunt to find the prize at the end of it.</span>
</p>
<p><span>Then Will turns to him, his blue eyes flashing in the golden light, and Nico’s heart skips a beat. </span><em><span>Does he know</span></em> <em><span>I was staring</span></em><span>? Panic squeezes his heart, pumps even more blood to his face.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>But if Will knew he was staring, he doesn’t show it. He merely fixes a smile over his face. “Kayla thinks she’s so good at this game. It’s just Sticks, though; it’s all about chance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re all about chance,” she grumbles beside him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That didn’t even make sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t make sense.” She turns the other direction in exasperation and begins to talk to Austin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Seems like she’s a sore loser.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will scoffs. “Oh, gods, she is. You haven’t met her when we play Uno on Sundays.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small smile slips over Nico’s mouth. “Maybe I should.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not sure what prompted him to say that, except for the fact that there’s a small confidence bubbling in his body, urging him to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will raises an eyebrow. “I should invite you next time.” Maybe he does it without noticing, or maybe he’s highly aware, but regardless, Nico doesn’t miss the way his body angles forward a bit, face mere inches from Nico’s own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His heart flips, pulses, pounds in his chest. He’s never been so close to Will, not like this. Intimacy burns the air, sizzles over his skin, pinches his face. If he moves any closer, he’ll probably be kissing him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he moves a little closer…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he doesn’t. He wants to keep his distance, just for the moment, see where this thing goes. He wants to stay in Will’s orbit, stay a safe distance away for a temporary time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t mind that.” His voice comes out in a whisper, slithering over both of the boys’ ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will breaks his contact for a second, turning his focus to his siblings. Then he tips his chin to an empty side of the amphitheater and mouths, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Follow me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flames dance in Nico’s eyes, but they’re nowhere near as hot as this feeling in his chest. He’s a chemical reaction, ready to combust; he’s a fireball ready to explode; he’s an unstable force in this universe. He’s going to blow up. Or at least, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>feels </span>
  </em>
  <span>like he will.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boys swim through the shadows, racing to the empty, shaded area of the amphitheater. There is nothing suspicious about this act, yet Nico can’t help the quickening of his heart nor the warmth that explodes over his face. There’s something intimate about sneaking around in plain sight, heading towards a shadow of solitude. He wonders why Will is taking him over there, but he doesn’t question it. He’s too lost in this new euphoria ringing in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They plop down in the shadows, letting the intimacy fold across over them like a blanket. For a moment, neither boy speaks up. Hesitance and tension contaminate the air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Nico speaks up. “Why did we just run away from your siblings?” His tone is almost accusing, but mostly curious. He wants to hear Will say it, wants to hear him admit some kind of secret.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will glances nervously at his siblings. In the flames, his tan skin flickers, his freckles flash, and his eyes dance. He’s a flame in himself, and Nico wants to keep this flame for himself, share it with no one else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will chews at his bottom lip, and as the flames echo against his features again, Nico swears a pink ocean has swept across his cheeks. Will isn’t too close to Nico - just enough distance to keep it comfortable - yet the son of Hades can’t help but to feel like they’re barely even centimeters apart. A part of him wants to shift closer, but he’s nervous that any next move might break some kind of barrier between them. A barrier that he’s nervous to break in case the shards drill into his skin and make him cry out in pain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, so,” Will starts, his voice shaking with a mix of anxiety and excitement, “I just didn’t really want them eavesdropping because, well, that would be embarrassing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eavesdropping?” Nico repeats. “Why? What are you going to say to me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s mouth opens, then closes, the words dying on his lips. They strangle his voice. It’s the apparent nervousness in him that makes Nico’s heart pound, makes his blood buzz with anticipation. His body turns into fire, flames licking at his muscles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will takes a deep breath, then, in a nervous tone, says, “There is a fireworks show on New Year’s Eve. That’s technically in a few days, but I thought it would be better to ask early if… if you wanted to come with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that’s all it takes for Nico’s heart to burst. Warmth trickles down from his chest into his stomach, courses through his arms, pools to the very bottom of his feet. The world turns to impossibly bright colors. He’s hot all over, and yet a chill still touches him gently and he shivers in his sweatshirt. He feels too small and too big at once; too much and too little; too crazy and too sane; too intoxicated and too sober. Too this and too that. Just. Existing. And not existing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As… friends?” Nico whispers, but from Will’s blush, he already knows the answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The son of Apollo shrugs. “That can be… up to your interpretation.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What kind of answer is that?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Nico wants to exclaim. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The asshole didn’t even answer the question</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s almost tempted to say no simply because of his answer, but he refrains. Just as he opens his mouth to voice his response, Chiron calls, “Alright, everyone. It’s getting late and it’s almost curfew time. Thank you for today and for all the festivities, and Merry Christmas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The flames flicker out, leaving campers in darkness once again. People stand up from their seats and start filtering out. Suddenly time seems like it’s flying too fast to let Nico give his answer out. He feels like he’s drifting further and further from Will, though the son of Apollo hasn’t left yet. His eyes are still bearing into Nico’s, desperate for a reply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While the darkness eats at the air between them, a light erupts in Nico’s chest. “I’ll see you then.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will blinks, a blank look overcoming his features as if he can’t quite believe what’s happened. Then a small laugh bubbles out of him. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, he leaves, blond curls flying excitedly, grin still plastered over his face, eyes dancing with excitement. But before he does, he pauses and twists his face back to Nico. “And don’t forget to bring your new pajama pants. It’s going to be crucial that night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Nico climbs into bed fifteen minutes later, the only light in the room comes from the bright smile fixed onto his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The past few days have been filled with awkward smiles, awkward touches, awkward looks. Awkward awkward awkward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And yet, Nico can’t help but to feel a tugging in his heart. It may be uncomfortable, but there’s a new closeness to their relationship, as if they’ve accomplished the next level. He’s still not completely sure how to feel about Will or how to </span>
  <em>
    <span>deal</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his feelings, but he doesn’t dwell on it too much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, today, as the spark of New Years’ excitement sizzles in the air, his thoughts are on nothing but Will, Will, Will. They haven’t talked much today since Will was busy setting up the magical fireworks with other demigods, but maybe that’s for the better. It helped Nico’s nerves settle, helped him stray away from too much overthinking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But as dawn creeps closer and the night becomes cooler, and as Nico stares at himself in the mirror with his new fuzzy pajama pants, he can’t help the dread that seeps into his bones. Skeletal butterflies create a tornado in his stomach. His arms jitter at his sides. Invisible hands creep over his shoulders, grip his skin, squeeze his throat. He isn’t sure why this is happening, but he doesn’t like it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Today, on top of his pajama pants (from Will), he’s wearing another black sweatshirt that spills over his arms and pools at his wrists. He’s not sure where this obsession with sweatshirts came from, but he can’t deny that he’s into it; they’re comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico sighs and throws himself over his bed. Is he stupid for freaking out like this? Will’s just a boy; it shouldn’t be a big deal. He’s been through absolute hell, and he’s freaking out over a </span>
  <em>
    <span>boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But maybe it’s not so much about the boy. Maybe it’s the idea of feeling attraction in general, the euphoria of falling for someone again. It’s the freedom that floats in his chest, lightens his step. He can’t help but to compare these feelings for Will to those that he felt for Percy just months ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Percy was a hurricane, thrashing up Nico’s insides. He felt nothing but dread as he wondered what kind of damage Percy could inflict on him if he gave into his feelings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Will, it’s so much more different. He’s the sun after the storm, the brightness illuminating the beauty of everything, the humidity in the air. He reminds Nico of what he’s gained, whereas Percy only reminded him of what he’d lost and what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>lose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Feelings for Percy were a jail, entrapping him in an almost bottomless pit of insecurities and pain. Feelings for Will is liberation. It’s a reminder that things are better, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nico </span>
  </em>
  <span>is getting better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When a knock cracks against his cabin door, Nico flinches and sits up quickly. His heart thuds quickly in his chest. Anticipation courses through his veins. Standing hesitantly, he calls, “Who is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Will,” a voice says from outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico feels unstable. If he takes one more step, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>fall. His skin stings with goosebumps and a feverish hotness comes over his face. He’s dazed, crazed, amazed. Everything seems too bright.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he pushes through that anxiety and makes it to the door. Just before he pulls it open, a memory flickers in his mind: the moment when Will knocked on his door to get him for dinner, before he left for Camp Jupiter. He was filled with dread and fear then; today, it’s different. Today, he’s filled only with happiness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was so young then. And maybe he still is young. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he’s changed so much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico pulls the door open, bracing himself for the future that lies behind it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will Solace smiles at him as they lock eyes. The light from Nico’s bedroom falls gently over his features, offering him an almost unnatural glow. A halo of golden curls gleams against his forehead. He looks almost angelic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” he says. “Are you ready to head to the fireworks?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico doesn’t miss the quietness in his voice, as if he’s nervous to speak at all. He notices the way Will’s twisting the hem of his orange Camp Half-Blood sweatshirt. His fuzzy green Yoda pants flash in Nico’s eyes. Will looks so boyish that Nico can almost fool himself into believing they’re normal people, not demigods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Nico responds. The tickle of a smile threatens his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hesitance lingers over them, creating a wall between the boys. They’re both waiting for the other to make a move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, when Nico can’t stand it anymore, he slips out of his cabin, and Will follows. As soon as the son of Hades closes the door behind them, all sources of light escape back into the room. There they are, standing in the midst of darkness, alone together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And they walk forward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The short trip to the beach is quiet, interrupted only with the chatter of some other demigods and the crunching of the ground beneath their feet. The winter chill grates against Nico’s skin, despite the fact that he’s modestly covered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But perhaps the coldness works in his favor. Because Will moves a little closer, and suddenly heat explodes in Nico’s body. Will hugs his own torso. “I didn’t know it would be so cold tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s almost January and it’s winter. You really had no idea?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, in my defense, Mr. Smartass, the camp borders are magical and sometimes the weather never really changes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you’re just a wimp.” But Nico doesn’t mean it; he smiles in Will’s direction to indicate he’s just joking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I am,” Will agrees. “But you look cold too.” A grin flashes across his face, glimmering in the darkness. “Should I be cliché and ask if you want my sweatshirt?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I should offer </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>the sweatshirt,” Nico suggests, “since you’re clearly the one with more temperature issues. Besides, I’ve lasted through winters with just a jacket; I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will smiles again, his mouth a light in the darkness. Nico’s heartbeat quickens, thudding in his chest as if begging to escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of laughter erupts in front of them, and Nico realizes that they’re already at the beach. A dark sky blankets over the sky, spreads out into the vast beyond, having no tell of what the future holds. It goes on forever.. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wishes he and Will could be like the sky; he doesn’t want this feeling with Will to ever stop. He wants them to be eternal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we going to sit with your siblings?” Nico asks. His feet sink into the soft sand, and for the first time he notices that he’s barefoot. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How </span>
  </em>
  <span>did he not realize that as he was just walking through the ground?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gods, what if Will’s noticed</span>
  </em>
  <span>? he wonders. And he seems to realize his lack of footwear just as Will does, because the son of Apollo smiles in amusement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico groans. “This is kind of embarrassing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. You were probably smart to not wear shoes to the beach. Less stuff to clean out.” Will gently holds Nico’s elbow, his fingers featherlight against the fabric of the son of Hades’ sweatshirt. “Follow me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he does, letting the blond mystery guide him through the maze of demigods. Stars glimmer over the dark expanse of sky like little holes in the universe. Chatter echoes across the beach. A cool breeze whispers past Nico’s skin, bites into even the most protected places of his body, but he lets it sink its fangs if only to find a distraction from Will’s intoxicating touch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The breeze threads through Nico’s hair, and for the moment, he feels almost unreal. Here is a beautiful boy leading him through the beach, and people are milling around, and there’s a rare excitement in the air, and he feels so utterly free, so alone in his own little world, as if he’s watching life through a lens that isn’t his. He’s floating away from his body, merely acknowledging but not comprehending the small movements all around him. It’s the most bizarre, liberating feeling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can just exist for now. Not worry about all his anxieties and stress. Just breathe in and soak up the present. He is no longer tied to his past, and he is not pushing to the future. Just the present matters, with this boy and these people and these feelings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The soft sand flits across his feet as he and Will rush to a quieter area close to the trees. As they brush past all the bodies, Nico gets a glimpse of Percy Jackson sitting with Annabeth, Jason, and Piper. Nico wasn’t even aware the latter two would be here this break. But that realization barely passes through his mind as Will tugs him further, and soon the Argo II demigods are just a part of his past. Will moves him toward the future. He practically forgets about them as soon as the boys reach their spot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They aren’t too far away from the other demigods, and they still have a good view of the sky, but being here in this small little hideaway, Nico feels almost as if he and Will are floating in their own little universe, swirling in an orbit only around each other and no one else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few trees surround their little area, seeing as this is where the beach and forest mingle together. It seems that Will has already planned out this little space for a while, because there’s already a blue blanket laid across the grainy sand, along with some snacks and card games. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico raises his eyebrows at the card pack and turns to Will, humiliation burning his cheeks. “I talked to you about Mythomagic once a few years ago and now you’re making fun of me by putting these here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shrugs and drops to the ground with a grin. “Thought you’d like it. Sometimes you’re allowed to be a child.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico huffs but, despite his embarrassment, there’s a hitch in his breath. He can’t really believe that Will remembered his Mythomagic obsession after so many years. Granted, he’s not interested in the game as much as he used to be, but he won’t deny the pull of memories that urge him to pick up the cards one more time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hesitantly, Nico sits on the ground by Will. He makes sure to keep his distance, just in case the other boy finds it uncomfortable to be too close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico picks at the blanket, feeling the soft cotton tangle up in his fingers. He asks Will, “Did you have fun setting up the fireworks?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh, no,” scoffs Will. “The Hephaestus cabin was so bossy, and they had the Ares kids, too. You can imagine the kind of trouble they’d been having with each other. Not to mention the rivalries us Apollo kids have with them. We barely got it done in time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico hisses as if he were in pain. “Yikes. That doesn’t seem ideal.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shakes his head. “You have no idea how many almost-fights me, Kayla, and Austin had to break up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico smiles. “You seem to have made it out alive. I would consider that a win.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe. It would have been better if we could have just watched the fights happen, though. But Kayla insisted that we break it up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Laughter falls past Nico’s lips. “You could have invited me to that. I would have brought popcorn.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I had known that I probably would have invited you. We could have placed bets on who would win.” Will turns his head to stare out into the distance, looking past all the heads. He sighs. “It’s probably not midnight yet. Have you ever watched one of these at Camp Half-Blood?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head. “I haven’t had the chance. Are they good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A genuine grin sparkles over Will’s mouth. “Nico, you haven’t truly lived until you see a Camp Half-Blood fireworks show. Sit back and enjoy one of the best fireworks of your lifetime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This better be as good as you’re saying it is.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It will be, especially since I helped out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Any chance this thing will start soon?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have a phone or a watch or something?” When Nico shakes his head in reply, Will sighs and shifts his body to get a view to somewhere to the far right. Nico can’t tell where he’s looking, but he appears to get his answer because he turns back and offers a sweet, small smile. “Okay, I think the Hephaestus kids are getting ready. That must mean that it’s almost midnight, which is when they usually start these fireworks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico nods in acknowledgement and picks at the soft blanket underneath his fingers again. A thread of silence ties itself between them, the only sound being of their breathing. In all honesty, Nico’s not quite sure of what to say. It’s the first time they’ve been truly alone like this in a while. It’s a little overwhelming, to say the least. The distance, the isolation from everyone else… What if he does something to mess this entire hang-out up? Why would Will even invite him to sit with him alone? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why aren’t we sitting with any of your friends? Or even your siblings?” Nico asks. “I’d assume you’d want to spend the New Years with them, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will fixes Nico with a guarded look, a vague truth in his eyes that Nico barely understands. He’s keeping something inside, considering what to say next.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Will speaks, his voice is tight with tension, safe from giving up too much: “I just thought it would be nice to spend it with someone different this year.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico raises a brow. “You’re setting me apart from your other friends?” he asks. Nico knows he sounds a little accusing, but he can’t help it - there’s something underneath Will’s eyes, some kind of truth he wants to draw out. There’s an inkling of hope, a sprinkle of desire in Nico’s chest. He wants Will to tell him the thing he’s both afraid of hearing and also yearning to hear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Will says quickly, eyes widening. “Not like that, I mean. Just…” His voice trails off, carried by the breeze that sweeps past them. A blush strikes his features, illuminated only by the slight glow by the various torches lit up around the beach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico tilts his head, mouth set in a thin line. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Come on</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he wants to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tell me. Tell me you feel the same as I do</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A burning tension flames up in the space between them, smoking and sizzling against their bodies, clawing up to their hearts. Heaviness settles in Nico’s chest, lead sinking to the bottom of his lung. He feels like he’s being crushed under the pressure of this attraction to the son of Apollo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will opens his mouth to answer again, words forming over his lips, and Nico’s ears strain to hear him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>BANG! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico and Will both jump in their seats, unintentionally moving closer. The flaming tension between them withers and dies out, giving way to the physical burst of heat and light in the dark sky. Explosions of color sparkle against the blackness, sizzling like butter to a pan, then pop and sputter out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico’s heart is going a thousand miles per hour. Adrenaline spikes his blood. His chest heaves as the shock of the sound widdles out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As a result of the surprise, Nico wasn’t able to properly admire the colors and images of the fireworks to his full extent. But he does notice, however, the quick burst of color reflecting in Will’s blue eyes, exploding over his features. Almost like even Will is a firework in himself, filled with colors and explosions of his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will laughs, a wild look over his features. “Wow, I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>expecting that. Did you see what it was?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head, but a small smile of amusement flashes against his own lips. His heart is still shivering in his chest, cowering in fear from the quick pulses in the sky, but he doesn’t show that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe it was just a normal one. But they got the Hecate kids to put some fun magic into the fireworks, so these are, like, super animated. It’s really fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Nico takes Will’s word for it. The fireworks progress, each one louder and more colorful than the next, each one making Nico flinch just a little bit more. But he enjoys the small bursts of adrenaline, the little jumps he makes, the color and sparkles and noises. And Will is right - the fireworks </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>fun to watch. Images of Greek warriors glitter in the air, portraying centuries worth of stories into short little movies across the endless blackness of the sky. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a beautiful sight, really. Nico forgets himself in this moment, only feels the movements next to him and around him but never fully acknowledges them. He’s distant as he watches the particles of light sparkle and glimmer over the darkness. And next to Will, as he notices the other boy’s small little flinches and acknowledges the other’s presence next to him, Nico can’t help but to feel like a firework himself. Constantly buzzing with energy, always ready to burst into particles and sizzle to the ground. And at the same time, he can’t help but to be jealous of the fireworks - Will’s watching them with such awe, such boyish excitement that Nico wishes he could be the fireworks, be the one to make him show such beautiful expressions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With each firework, the boys scooch closer to each other, as if the bursts of light are igniting something in them, too - igniting a sense of trust, an inkling of yearning, make them beg for each other’s comfort and warmth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fireworks go on for about half an hour, up until what Nico assumes is twelve thirty at midnight. Laughter and amusement burst throughout the cliques on the beach, but Nico barely registers any of that. Instead, towards the end of the show, he only notices the fact that his and Will’s pinkies are almost touching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When there’s a larger pause between the fireworks - a pause long enough to indicate to Nico that the grand finale is about to come - Will turns to him. A bright grin gleams over his mouth, and his eyes burst with almost as much color as the prior fireworks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How cool was that?” Will asks, his voice dripping with pure joy and excitement. “You don’t see these kinds of fireworks everywhere. They’re usually reserved just for New Years and the fourth of July. But, honestly, I think they’re enough reason to be a year-round camper. Aren’t they awesome?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico nods in agreement. Excitement buzzes under his skin, and despite knowing that the show is about to end soon, Nico can’t help but to want more of them. He’s mesmerized. “They’re really cool.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will grins. “Yeah. You can thank the Apollo cabin for thinking of the images this year.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico rolls his eyes but offers a small smile. “Thank you, Sunshine Boy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A new silence rises between them, pushes against the boys like waves of the ocean in a thunderstorm. There’s more they want to say, something they want to admit, but neither is sure how to put it into words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will and Nico stare at each other, similar smiles reflecting back at one another’s faces. They’re still, so still, anxious that even one move may shift something, may make them both admit something they’re not ready to admit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The torches around the beach glow softly around them, offering much too little light for such a dark night, but nevertheless their firelight echoes against Will’s face. He seems to be glowing from within, holding his own light in his body, ready to share the brightness with anyone and everyone who needs it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Nico has darkness in him, but as he stares at Will, he thinks that maybe the darkness inside him isn’t so bad. It doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be bad. Will’s the nightlight flickering in the darkness after a nightmare, and Nico’s the comforting darkness of a too-eventful night, the darkness in the beautiful night as everyone’s asleep. He wants to share his own darkness with Will, envelop him in the comfort of loneliness. Not the bad kind of loneliness, no - the good one. The one with soft embraces and intimate touches and whispered secrets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darkness is usually assigned with sadness, with loneliness, with grief. And for a long time, even Nico aligned it with those aspects. But since being at camp, he has a new definition of darkness. And there can’t be darkness without light, just as there cannot be light without darkness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s overcome with a wave of feelings so strong that he feels like he’s drowning, sinking, suffocating. He wants to be close to Will, to be touching Will, to be with Will. He wants to become a singular being with the son of Apollo.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico recalls Plato’s myth of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>other half</span>
  </em>
  <span>, in which Plato claimed people were once born as both male and female and were torn apart, left to search for their other halves for their whole life. Nico spent a lot of time thinking about that one myth, wondering how on earth he ever fit in with that idea: of having to restrict himself to only male or female, of never quite being able to find his other half. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But as he stares at Will, watches his eyes flash in the dim orange light, notices the way a curl falls carelessly into his eyelashes, he can’t help but to wonder how true that myth really is. Because, if there’s anything Nico’s learned in his time at camp, maybe some people just don’t want to look for their other half. Isn’t it better to just live and enjoy life without the pressure of love on one’s shoulders? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, love should not be mandatory. But it can be desired. And, as Will shifts a little closer and as he touches Nico’s hand and as he opens his lips to speak, Nico realizes that is what he wants. He desires love - love from Will specifically - but he does not </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But what’s so wrong about being a little greedy, a little wishful?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s fingers tangle themselves into Nico’s, falling in between the gaps of his own fingers. Their hands fit so perfectly that Nico wonders why they don’t do this so often. The last firework hasn’t shot yet, almost as if waiting for something, waiting for another kind of spark to come first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s voice spills over Nico’s, seeps into his ears like warm, golden honey, as he murmurs, “I don’t think I ever answered your question about why I invited you here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a softness to Will’s eyes, the blue of them melting into some kind of watery puddle. Nico doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he merely nods his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right now, their fingers are intertwined. Both their palms are facing the ground, feeling the bumps of the grass run against their fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well… I was nervous my friends or siblings would ruin this for me,” Will says, turning his eyes to the blanket underneath them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ruin what?” Nico asks. “Just us hanging out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s mouth opens and closes, projecting unspoken words. He’s struggling to find the right string of letters, the right sound of words, unable to comprehend what is going through his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Will laughs, a soft, velvety sound that warms Nico’s chest and protects him from the chill of the air. It’s a dazed laugh, as if he doesn’t understand what’s happening. “Well, I… don’t exactly count this just ‘hanging out.’”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will looks hesitant to answer. There’s a blockade over his features, unable to let any next words pass through. Then he sighs and scrubs his face tiredly, unlatching his fingers from Nico’s. “Oh, gods, this is going to be really embarrassing,” he mutters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico doesn’t answer, just waits patiently. But his heart thrums quickly, pulses with excitement, with anxiety and adrenaline and euphoria. The last fireworks haven’t exploded yet but there are sparks still exploding between them, smarting against Nico’s skin, branding him with the mark of admiration. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will leans back and stretches his arms behind him, gripping the blanket with his fingertips. He tilts his face to the stars, soaking up their light, absorbing their coolness. He’s almost ethereal, godly, beyond human as the balance of the night sky and fire glow blanket over his features. He is neither day nor night, not dark or light. Just everything all at once. He’s everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m really tired of this,” Will mutters, more to himself than to Nico. “It’s New Years and I don’t think there’s a better time to lay it down easy to you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico raises an eyebrow. “Tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will sits up straight again and turns his head eagerly to Nico’s. Excitement buzzes under Nico’s skin, billows up his insides, makes him glow with an eagerness. His curls dance as a slight breeze whispers against them, moving to a silent song.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s chest expands as he takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he whispers. “Let’s pretend everything I say in the next few seconds is all hypothetical, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico nods his head in reluctant agreement. A frown pricks at his eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, hypothetically speaking… if I were to admit that I maybe sort of kind of really liked you, what would you say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And suddenly Nico’s overflowing, bursting with color, leaking excitement everywhere. His skin buzzes and his chest hurts as a wave of exhilaration floods over. “I would ask you what you think. What would you think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If we were hypothetically speaking, of course, and I admitted I liked you… then I think, hypothetically speaking, I would say that… I think you like me too. And, hypothetically speaking, we’d like each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small smile on Nico’s face does nothing to reflect his actual excitement at the words. “I’m suddenly not so sure any of this is hypothetical, Will.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then let me start over.” Will reaches for Nico’s hand again, and Nico gives into the warmth and comfort of it. Will’s fingers brush against the plains of Nico’s skin gently, riding over the mountains of his knuckles and into the caves of his palm, creating an earthquake over the land of his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, all of a sudden, Will flips the hand over. Nico can no longer feel the grass underneath the blanket but rather the actual palm of Will as it lies against his and grapples with Nico’s fingers. They rest against each other softly, looking for refuge against the freezing cold, finding solace in one another. And Nico’s heart is going haywire, pulsating with euphoria and exhilaration. They’ve never held hands like this, with their fingers so tightly wound and each other’s warmth exploding through one another's systems. It’s a closeness Nico’s never felt with Will, an intimacy so strong that he may as well be giving up all his secrets. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything I say now is no longer hypothetical,” Will says. “I like you. A lot. You’re just… so great. When you left last year, I thought that was the end of it. I was afraid of losing you. I like you now. I keep liking you. Everything I feel for you is constant, Nico; it’s always moving, always pulsating, always </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’ve tried getting over you, but I just can’t. You have more of an effect on me than you think you do.” Will’s breathing is ragged, excited. “I didn’t want to tell you, though, because the first thing you needed was a friend. And I wanted to be your friend more than anything else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico feels like he’s being shot up into the sky, exploding just like the fireworks. He’s blooming; he’s bursting; he’s shimmering; he’s reacting. He doesn’t know what to do or how to feel but at the same time he wants to keep moving and keep feeling and just keep existing here with Will’s hand in his and the night blanketing over them and never have time move ever again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a moment’s hesitation, Will whispers, “And I think you like me, too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico blanks, completely losing his focus. Is he so easy to read? Is he really always putting his heart on his sleeve? “What makes you say that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I had my doubts, but… recently you’ve been more open with me, I guess. More than you’ve ever been with me.” Will grimaces. “Unless I totally misread that message. In that case, I’m sorry. Maybe I’m just embarrassing myself here…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A pink blush battles Will’s freckles, fighting for control over the smooth tan of his skin. He’s pinkening like a sky over a summer evening, spreading the promise of beauty everywhere he looks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is the confession Nico’s been waiting for so long. And he feels… he feels… he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>feels</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He feels like a rainbow, bursting with color; he feels like TV static, buzzing with no thoughts in his mind; he feels like he’s bursting through his seams, his chest flooding over with excitement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But there’s that little whisper of darkness in his mind, clawing behind the wooden crates of his worst memories. It picks at the back of his head, cackling, muttering, </span>
  <em>
    <span>A boy, Nico? Loving a boy now? Again?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico hisses externally, feeling as though he’s been pricked in the skin. Will’s eyebrows crinkle in concern. Hesitance and humiliation crawl over his body, making him close in on himself. “Listen, Nico, if I’ve made you uncomfortable-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Nico can barely hear him. The insistence of the voice keeps poking holes into his mind, leaking insecurities through the punctures. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A new boy. What will everyone say, Nico?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Memories of Percy resurface into his mind, images of his mischievous smile and his brooding face during battle and his concerned eyebrows as he looked at Nico for the first time after bringing him back from the giants. Pain smacks Nico in between the eyes, pain of those memories and pain of that time and pain of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Percy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He was lost then; he didn’t have a path, didn’t have anyone to look up to, anyone to confide in. He was scared. He hated himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But now he looks at Will again, not quite </span>
  <em>
    <span>into </span>
  </em>
  <span>him but merely acknowledging his existence. Nico thinks of the past few months. He is no longer that boy that he used to be; he is no longer basking in his own darkness. He is more than his past pain and his insecurities; he is more than his demons.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now Nico really focuses on Will’s features, stares right into him. He picks at all the aspects of his personality, breaks apart all that makes Will </span>
  <em>
    <span>Will</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Will is not Percy; he does not represent the horrors and shame that Nico felt. Will is someone else entirely, a new future. He’s the River Lethe, a chance for a new beginning. Will has known Nico as he was in the past and how he is in the present.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And, with a pang of admiration, Nico realizes that he wants Will to know him as his future as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dark creature at the back of his mind cackles a little more, scratches the back of his mind again, scrapes against his insecurities. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Come now, Nico, consider this a bit more. Do you really want to take part in this? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doubt crawls over Nico’s shoulders, creeps over his collarbone, spreads through his cheeks and down his chest and into his limbs and torso, spreading its cold pain all the way to his toes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do I really want to do this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sudden anger boils under his skin. He is not that boy anymore; he will not be pressured by his insecurities again. He knows what he wants. Maybe he’s not sure if this is a good idea, but he won’t let his fears tell him what to do again. He’s been a slave to the pain too long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A new seedling of hope hatches in a different corner of his brain. It’s a golden piece of light, offering a little brightness to the darkness in his mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t have to do anything you do not want</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it tells him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You are more than your past. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now Nico’s focus shifts back to Will, who has been staring at Nico for who knows how long. The son of Apollo chews on his lip, sucking the pink out and leaving only a light color where he bites down. Nico wonders how he can do that - just sit there and do just about anything and still make it seem like it has a purpose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nico?” Will whispers. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have said all that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico hesitates for a second, figuring out what to say next. Then he begins to rub his index finger against Will’s palm, feeling the grooves over his fingertips. But he never breaks eye contact. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Will, don’t be sorry,” he says. “I was just… absorbing it all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will winces. “So you </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>like me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t say that…,” Nico murmurs. His fingers trail under Will’s palm again, soaking up his warmth. “I think the thing you need to know about me is… I’ve been taking time for myself. You know that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will nods, his expression deflating under the pressure of disappointment. “Yeah, I do. I’m sorry, Nico. I know you’re only trying to focus on yourself… I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel on-the-spot.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico shakes his head. “You haven’t. And I’m not trying to make you feel like that either. I do want to say, though… Well, I guess you’re right.” A burst of red swims under Nico’s cheeks, coating his entire face under a pink hue. “I do like you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just admitting the words makes Nico’s skin crawl with bugs of anxiety. They bite into his skin, creating mountains of goosebumps. But he moves through the pain. “The only thing is that I’m not sure how… </span>
  <em>
    <span>compatible </span>
  </em>
  <span>I am right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There, in Will’s eyes, is a light, a glimmer of hope. Nico smiles at the sight, and a burst of wishfulness explodes in him, too. “So, what are you saying?” Will asks. “Does that mean that you maybe sort of kind of like me too?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico pulls his fingers through Will’s again, intertwining their skin with each other, knotting their physical bodies tightly. “I think so,” Nico whispers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A grin breaks out against Will’s face, so bright that Nico can’t help but to laugh a little. “This is really fun,” Will says back in a hushed voice. “I can’t believe this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What can’t you believe?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That… that someone like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>would like me,” Will says, shaking his head incredulously. “Nico, you’re so… so cool. You’re epic. You’re so awesome.” Will smiles. “Well, clearly, I don’t have my dad’s poetry skills, but you know what I mean. You’re just… so cool, Nico. I thought for sure that you were, like, way out of my league.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would you think that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will shrugs. “In my eyes, you’re more noble than any god I’ve ever met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s words seep into Nico’s skin, soak his muscles, sink into his veins. The words travel down his nervous system and strike his brain. “A god? I’m merely another human, Will. You and I are not so different.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will smiles. “No, we’re not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And for a moment, the boys sit there, bathing in their isolation from the world, basking only in each other’s glory. Their place on the beach buzzes with electricity, with secrets, with truths. They can’t stop smiling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I say something, though?” Nico asks, his voice barely above a whisper despite the fact that they two are far away from eavesdroppers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will nods. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just… I’m not sure that I want anything serious,” Nico says nervously. “I’ve never really been in a relationship, and maybe I’m not really ready to call… to call someone…” His voice chokes up, his unspoken words tying up together and hiding in his teeth. But Will gets the gist; he means to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Will nods in understanding, and Nico continues. “I like you, don’t get me wrong. I’m just not sure I want something too intense. I don’t know if I’m actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>ready </span>
  </em>
  <span>for something too official.” Nico tilts his head. “And I’m not quite sure you’re ready for that either, Will.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s eyes widen in surprise, but his mouth curls down. The truth stings him, Nico can tell. He isn’t ready for seriousness just as much as Nico isn’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Nico assures. “You don’t have to be ready. We’re still young, aren’t we? It’s okay that you aren’t ready either.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I know,” Will whispers. “I’m just… I don’t really know. Maybe I’m not ready for something serious either.” A sigh escapes past his lips, blowing a puff of air into the dark air. “But we still like each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will mulls this dilemma over his head, calculating the meaning of it. Then he leans over and reaches for Nico’s other hand, holding it gently. His fingers balance gently underneath Nico’s other palm. “Then we don’t have to be official or anything. We can go as slow as we need to. Because I like you a lot, Nico. And maybe slow is the best way for us to go.” Will shrugs. “I’m willing to do anything. To be as slow as we </span>
  <em>
    <span>both </span>
  </em>
  <span>need to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico nods his head. Golden joy overflows through his body, sloshes in his veins and bursts through his palms. He can’t help the smile that takes over his face. “Slow,” he repeats. “I’d like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You would?” Will asks, almost incredulous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nico nods. “I don’t mind that. Just… no labels. I’m not sure I want that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will lets go of Nico’s hands, instead opting to hold his own cheeks. Suddenly he’s bursting with light, overflowing with happiness. A blush paints his cheeks now. “I don’t want that either,” he agrees. “We can do whatever we need, Nico.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, hypothetically speaking, does this mean that we are… just </span>
  <em>
    <span>together</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will’s lashes flutter together and he takes Nico’s hands again, letting him soak up his sunny warmth, letting him feel the stories of his hands. Each and every day, Nico’s opening up a new chapter to Will’s story. “I think that, hypothetically speaking… I think we are together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like that. I like calling us </span>
  <em>
    <span>together.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p><span>Will whispers, “I like calling us together,</span> <span>too.” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, all is still between the boys. Only the echoes of their whispers linger in the air, and soon it’s completely silent, void of all interruptions. Then, without quite thinking, Nico says, “I think that as being </span>
  <em>
    <span>together</span>
  </em>
  <span>, our first act is to take a hug. Test out each other’s weaknesses.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not sure why he says that. But there’s a new courage to him, a new desire to move forward. Will laughs, a beautiful golden sound that tingles in Nico’s ears. “All in favor say ‘aye.’”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without responding, Nico leans in and wraps his arms around Will’s neck. The other boy pulls his arms around Nico’s waist, gripping the soft fabric of his sweatshirt, and Nico leans into Will’s neck, absorbing his scent. The scent of grass and summer days and sweetness. Will’s skin brushes over Nico’s cheek, mingles with only a small group of particles that make Nico who he is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dark and light bleed into each other, melting into one, </span>
  <em>
    <span>becoming</span>
  </em>
  <span> one. The two halves of Plato’s theory. Sun and moon; light and dark; yin and yang. They fit together perfectly, as if their bodies were made just for each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Distantly, a new bang shakes the sky and colors explode over them, but neither boy acknowledges it. They’re too caught up in the sparks already bursting in between their own bodies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’re spilling into each other, forming into one being, bonding together in a chemical reaction. They’re an unstable substance, ready to break the universe if they need to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And here we see the clashing of two planets. A big bang that creates a new universe entirely, a new story, a new journey. Once so far apart, now so close together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Will and Nico are finally in each other’s orbit.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>wowowowo that was really long. to people who decided to stick through this, thank you so much for reading!! it means the world to me that you did!! ily babes &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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